Proserpine
by Five seas
Summary: Bella never liked games, but she finds herself unable to refuse when her journey to Forks takes a turn for the worst. With her loved ones' fate on the line, she seeks a way out while trying to abide the rules. But there is more to it than meets the eye.
1. How It All Began

_**I do not own "Twilight" or any of its characters, or any other book, movie, or song that gets mixed up in this story.**_

_**Warning: Due to the fact that the author is young, wild and probably insane, this story does not abide by laws of continuity or even common sense. In fact, I have taken great liberties with the original text, changing characters and even the year. This shit is set in 2009, so don't write to tell me I'm getting things mixed up and adding pop-cultural references that are yet to be made. **_

_**Basically, I was sitting down one day wondering what would happen if Victoria came back in the past and intersepted Bella before she came to Forks. Basically, this happened.**_

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**Big thanks to Courtney for betaing this. Your enthusiasm alone makes me write more! (But not now. Now I have emails to answer ;P)**

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_**How it all began**_

I soaked the sun up in our backyard, enjoying the last fleeting moments of peace I had. In a few minutes I was going to leave, begin my journey to a place where I probably wouldn't see light for years.

My mom was fussing around in the house, making sure for the umpteenth time that my luggage was packed and that nothing was left behind. I was sure she would slip some forgotten necessities in my bags, along with a few things I most certainly wouldn't need, but I didn't have the heart to tell her it was fine. It was so rare that Renee acted like a real mother, I couldn't spoil her fun.

Not that we were a "traditional family", so to speak. My parents divorced when I was eight and I've been living with my mom ever since. She was a carefree soul, and since she couldn't forgive herself for marrying and having me at eighteen, she had focused all her energy on making up for the lost time. Renee was sweet, almost childlike in her wonder of the world, and she was also my best friend.

As I was sitting there in the sunlit yard, reminiscing about a subject that I seemed to broach a lot lately, I couldn't help but wonder why on Earth was I was moving again. My mom, my school, my friends, whole life was in Phoenix, Arizona. Hell, my father had to come here during the summer when he was supposed to spend time with me because I couldn't bear a day without sunshine and dryness. The irony was that I was about to move to Forks, Washington, the wettest and cloudiest place in the continental US, was not lost to me.

"Bella!" Renee called from the house "Sweetie, are you done? Vicki called; she's going to be here any minute now."

Resigning myself, I got up and gathered the small potted cacti I had collected. I didn't know if they would survive in the cold and the wet, but taking them with me was worth a try. They'd end up dead anyway if Renee was left to take care of them.

When I got inside, my mom was on the phone again, this time with my dad. It seemed to me like they'd been talking more in these last few months than they had since the divorce. It was partly my fault – after all, I had been the one to suggest moving in with Charlie so that Renee could travel around with her new husband. Organizing the legal and practical details of my moving had been long and tedious, especially since Renee tended to forget a lot of things.

A car horn blared from outside and I opened the door to see Vicki's Mercedes parked in front of the driveway. Renee hung up and helped me grab onto the suitcases.

"Hurry up!" a voice called from the driver's seat as the trunk was automatically snapped open. "We better hurry before the big jams start."

Renee and I loaded my stuff, exchanged a quick hug and kiss and promises to write and e-mail as much as we could, before I jumped in the car and waved, as Vicki Aims drove off.

Vicki was one of my mom's many, many friends. They had met at pottery class and somehow they'd managed to get as thick as thieves over the six months of acquaintance, or at least thick enough for Renee to let her drive me home.

"Thanks again for picking me up." I said.

"You're welcome, dear." Vicki grinned and I stiffened briefly in my seat, before offering a weak smile in return. _It's not her, it's me_, I told myself and played with the box of cacti in my lap, _I just hate traveling_.

The truth was that ever since the idea of a road trip had come up, I'd been feeling out of sorts. Nothing in particular, just an overall bad feeling. Strange dreams kept me up at night while at day I often found myself anxious and worried. And sometimes, just sometimes, those feelings would intensify around Vicki, as if my subconscious was trying to warn me about something.

But that was ridiculous. Sure, Victoria Aims was a little different than my mom's usual friends, but that didn't mean I had to fear her. I blamed it all on the fact that she was gorgeous – over six feet of milky white skin, topped with a head full of fiery curls and the strangest, darkest eyes I had ever seen. She was sin incarnate, in matching Armani suit and Gucci stilettos. My anxiety around her was probably a residue reaction from high school, where I had learned to avoid the pretty, popular girls out of fear of humiliation.

Vicki and I hadn't known each other that long – Renee had only introduced us after Vicki had gotten a job at Seattle. That had given my mom the splendid idea of having me travel with her friend – to save expenses and to gain life experiences, as she put it. Oddly enough, Vicki didn't mind traveling with me at all, but since my father had ran a background check on her and found nothing, I assumed that she was safe and left it at that.

* * *

We spoke a little during the drive, but we mostly listened to music. She focused on the driving, making sure we didn't run into some idiot or take the wrong turn. I didn't mind – the plan was that we would travel all week long, taking long stops along some places and stuff like that. We'd have plenty of time to talk.

That was what I thought.

It wasn't until the night fell that Victoria's good spirits seemed to rise. I suspected it had something to do with the setting sun – like most redheads; she probably burned easy, which was why she never went outside without a parasol and wore a scarf and goggles in the car. As soon as it was dark, she removed them and chatted easily about different things – music, friends, boys, as if she was my mom. I tried to keep up with her:

"So, Bella, are you excited to start over in Forks? Turn over a new leaf?"

"I don't know…"

"You know, you have a lot of luck – nobody knows you there and you will certainly make a big splash. You know, some people would use the opportunity to morph their personality into something different. Something more… intense." Vicki's eyes were boring into mine as she said that, and I just nodded.

"Sure."

"Oh, I know what the matter is." She grinned slyly and I felt myself shrinking back. Those teeth looked a little too white and sharp for my liking. My sense of anxiety multiplied "You left your heart in Phoenix, didn't you?"

I laughed a little too loud, trying to calm my frazzled nerves. "Nothing of the sort. I've never had a boyfriend."

"Hmm…." She pursed her lips and said "Well, plenty of fish left in the sea." She said empathically. That was when I noticed we had gotten off the highway. Frowning, I looked at the map.

"Err, Vicki, we're not supposed to get off here." I pointed out.

"I know." She said.

"Um, shouldn't we go back to the highway."

"No."

The voice in which the last word was spoken had me freeze in my tracks. Nervously, I turned around to look at her, and her eyes were dark with some sort of emotion I couldn't decipher. Suddenly, I was choking on fear, loud, scary, irrational fear, and barely managed the first syllable of her name before she lunged at me and everything went dark.

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_**A/N - Comments are always appreciated (or horrified screams, whatever works for you).**_


	2. Waking Up

**Too sick for a big ass author's note. Thanks to Courtney for betaing this. Go read her stories when you're done here.

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Waking Up

My head was swimming as I opened my eyes, and it took a few goes for me to clear my vision out. I was staring at wooden beams. Hard wooden beams. A floor. The room was freezing cold.

I tried getting up, but I realized my hands were pinned next to my body. It was strange, until it became clear to me that I wasn't lying. I was sitting.

"Finally awake, I see." A cold voice rang in my ears and I snapped my head up to see Vicki standing next me. At first, I couldn't recognize her. Her hair was loose, she was wearing casual clothes, and the look in her eyes… dear Lord, it was positively evil. Her ruby lips turned in a small smirk as she gazed at me. "Well, little Bella, aren't you going to say good morning?"

"What's going on?" I managed. My throat was suddenly dry.

She slapped me. I gasped in pain.

"I asked you a question, little one. You should learn to respond." She said coldly. I stared at her, before rasping:

"Good morning."

"Good morning…?"

"Good morning, Vicki."

"I prefer Victoria, thank you very much." She said, slapping me again, before turning on her heel and going over to a nearby table. "You've been out for much longer than I thought, Bella. That will not do. You should stay awake for longer for what I have planned for you."

I stared at her as I tried to break free from my binds. No use. They were incredibly strong, holding my hands like a vice.

"No use of struggling, dear." She said without looking at me "They won't break. I've made sure of it."

"What is this?" I asked, looking at the contraption I was sitting on. At first sight it looked like an ordinary armchair, the only difference being that the armrests had somehow clamped down on my forearms, pinning me down and making it impossible for me to move.

"It is called a debtor's chair." Victoria said as she finally turned around. There was something in her hand, but I couldn't make it out from where I was sitting. "Clever contraption, isn't it, my dear?" She said as she advanced on me, and I realized with horror that she held a syringe "It was designed to hold the indebted down until a promise to pay back at all costs was extracted from them. It was a small feat finding one nowadays, but looking at you right now, I have to say it was well worth it." She said as she disinfected a spot on my arm and plunged the syringe in without any warning. I screamed loudly, but before I knew what was going on, my head was swimming again.

* * *

I woke up an hour later to cold water. A freezing spray was being shot at me, but it wasn't a gentle shower or even the cold slap of a water bucket. It was so strong that it literally knocked the wind out of my lungs and I found myself screaming in pain. Then it was over, and I made out Victoria in front of me, holding something that looked like a fire hose, before my whole body shook with cold. She watched me, content written all over her features, before moving to take a towel and drying my body.

"There, there, dear, this is only the beginning." She cooed, before picking up that disgusting syringe again.

It went on for a while like that. Sometimes she administered whatever drug she had, making me sleepy for a while, before waking me up in some disgusting way. Sometimes she used the cold water, but others she just squeezed my hands and feet until the pain filled me completely. I screamed and begged and pleaded, shivered in my soaked clothes, but she never said anything to me, just laughed and laughed and laughed and looked like a child that was just beginning to play with her favorite toy.

Then, she stopped using the drug. After yet another session with the hose, she turned up with a black piece of silk which she used to blindfold me. Then she left me.

I sat there for God knows how long. The blindfold was soft, but tightly woven, completely robbing me of my sight. After some time, I began to doze off, and then… then…

A strange crack was heard and a second later I smelled gun powder.

"Don't doze off…" Victoria whispered in my ear and I felt a heat near my cheek. Suddenly, another, more terrible smell joined the others – like burned waffles. Only it was too close. Too close.

Splash! Cold water hit me straight across the face, although this time it wasn't with the excruciating pressure of the hose. Just water from a bucket, yet it made me tremble.

"Tsk, tsk…" she hissed "Didn't anyone tell you not to play with fire, Bella?"

"Please…" I begged "Please, stop…"

She just huffed and walked away again.

And so on, she continued, not letting me rest at all, snapping scissors and burning matches close to my face whenever my body began to go slack. At some point I was so frightened that my whole body shook and I kept straining my ears to catch the slightest movement. But it was no use – she came and went, soundless as a ghost, cruel as a devil. And, with time, I became aware of something else.

It had been what, at least twelve hours since we'd last stopped for a break? My body, though overstrained and overstressed, was starting to catch up with my brain. I suddenly discovered I was dying from thirst. I was ravenous. But most of all, I wanted to pee.

At first I was too terrified to make my discomfort known. Whenever I opened my mouth to say anything I either got slapped or hit with cold water. However, I soon came to the conclusion that if I didn't do anything about it, my body would just automatically relieve itself and then I would piss her off even more. I fidgeted nervously around in the chair and bit my lip until my bladder's protests couldn't be ignored anymore and called plaintively:

"Um, Victoria?"

"Yes?" she breathed in my ear.

Calm down, I said to myself, while trying to remember that psychopath movie I had seen once. What had the hero done to make his escape?

Comply. Comply with whatever she wants.

"Um, I'm sorry to have disturbed you, but I was wondering if I could use the bathroom?" I asked as politely as I could. For a second, I was afraid she was gone, before I heard her chuckling softly in my ear.

"Oh, sweet child…" she said, before I felt her tug at my hair painfully "Can't hold it anymore, can you?" She continued in the same maternal tone, even though my scalp was throbbing in pain.

"No, I can't." I said "Please, I beg of you, just let me go to the bathroom." I whined, steeling myself for yet another slap.

But nothing of the sort came. I became vaguely aware of the pressure on my hands lessening, before something strong grabbed my shoulders and I was being carried through the room without my feet touching the floor for a second. Then they released me, and I plopped down on a cold porcelain bowl just as a door slammed shut.

Carefully, I reached up and took my blindfold off. Nothing happened. No cold water, no fire, no crushing pain. I was sitting in a pristine bathroom, big and white and spacious.

At first I was so startled by the normality of it all I just took care of my business without any complaint. But my brain, for once, didn't fail me and I remembered some things Charlie had told me when he was trying to drill ways to deal with criminals into my head. Be calm and humble with psychopaths. Check. Find a way to get to know your surroundings. I looked around the bathroom and discovered with surprise that it not only had a huge window, but that it also was on the second floor.

My heart beat with excitement as I turned on the tap and let the water flow to make Victoria think I was washing my hands. The window was on the first floor, and when I tentatively tried to open it, it proved to be unlocked. Even more excited, I opened it and slipped out, leaving the water running so that I could gain a few minutes of head start.

I was in a forest of some sort – huge oak trees rose up to the skies, birds sang in the branches, and though it was probably around noon, it was cloudy and freezing cold. The strange scenery startled me for a moment, but I didn't stop to think and dashed into the trees.

* * *

It didn't take me long to get lost, but in my panic stricken mind, it seemed like the best idea. There was no way in Hell that Victoria could follow me in that forest, and I figured that as soon as I found some marker on the trees that showed a tourist trail, I'd be saved.

Unfortunately for me, I had never been a sports type of person. My body was too soft, breakable, and I had no sense of balance. I hadn't found it necessary to exercise beyond a few laps in the pool every week, and it showed as I ran through the forest. My feet weighed heavily with each step and it was only the thought that I wasn't far enough from Victoria that kept me going. But the farther I ventured, the darker and colder the forest got. Maybe night was falling, but it was more likely that I was going in the wrong direction.

A cold wind blew through the trees and made my body shiver violently under the wet clothes. I wrapped my arms around myself and continued, teeth chattering.

Finally, finally, I saw a little light among the trees and I felt my spirits lift. My feet moved faster, until I was running, exhilaration coursing through me as I raced to the light. Free, free, I'd be free and safe. My heart felt like it would burst from my chest.

I ran out of the trees and was briefly blinded by the light. However, when my eyes adjusted, it wasn't the friendly face of civilization that met me. No, the face that met me wasn't friendly at all.

In front of me stood the biggest bear I had ever seen in my life. Heavy and dark, it stood in the small clearing like something out of a Discovery Channel documentary, only smelled a hundred times worse. Its brown fur was sticking out in every direction and yet it hung somehow limply, as if the creature hadn't eaten for a long time. On the left of him stood a smaller dark spot, which on closer inspection turned out to be another bear, a much smaller model than the one that had caught my attention.

The one that was currently growling in my direction.

My breath died in my throat as soon as I realized what I had done. I had just charged full force in front of a bear that had come out early of hibernation, and if that wasn't bad enough, it was with its cub. It would've been an interesting theme for a Cartoon Network show, only this was no Yogi and I didn't have a picnic basket with me.

"Easy…" I mumbled, trying to edge away from the clearing. The movement was the only incentive the bear needed, because it roared angrily and rose on its hind legs. I was a goner. I didn't even have the strength to scream in me, just closed my eyes and curled into a ball.

However, instead of a vicious blow, I felt the air shift and the bear gave out a mournful cry. A second later, a squeakier moan came, probably from the cub, and then there was silence. My whole being told me my Death was nearing, but I opened my eyes nevertheless. What I saw shocked me into silence.

The two bears were lying in the middle of the clearing; their bodies unnaturally slack against the ground, looking like empty, furry sacks. I knew they were dead before I noticed the dark red blood that stained the grass around them. Above them stood Victoria, looking just like I had last seen her, calm and collected and smiling.

"Well, well, if it isn't our runaway. Was the forest a kind host to you?" She mocked as she approached me. It was then that I noticed it – red on her hands, her clothes, her face, even her hair. I smelled rust and salt. It was overwhelming, so strong and potent it made my head turn. And then she knelt down to blow in my face, and I could swear I could smell the blood in her breath. A second later I passed out again.

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"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!" Victoria cooed in my ear, and to my horror I opened my eyes to find myself strapped to the debtor's chair again. Had I dozed off? There was no water, no smoke, no searing pain, but I felt my body oddly cold and my feet throbbed as if I had run too long in them. I looked down at my body and noticed with horror that I had been stripped down to my bra and panties.

I looked up and there she stood, that sadistic bitch, laughing at me. I suddenly felt anger burning in me, stronger than I had ever felt in my entire life.

"So that's why you let me go to that bathroom." I said coldly "You knew that I couldn't run away even if I tried to."

"Naturally." She smirked, showing me two rows of perfectly sharp teeth "I can't let my toy run away so fast now, can I?"

"What do you want from me?" I asked, boldly, forgetting humility and patience. I was too angry to consider my own safety. How dare she? How dare that bitch give me that silver of hope only to snatch it away seconds later?

"That's no way to talk to a person who just saved your life, little one." Victoria said coldly. She walked up to me and knelt down in my feet and ran her fingers down my cheek, her touch so gentle it was almost maternal. "You're too cruel to me. No matter what I did to you here, it would've been for your own good."

I didn't believe her. That bitch kept me awake, tortured me with darkness, fire and water, and acted like she was doing me a favor. The anger burned even brighter, even when her hand slipped in my hair and pulled so hard I cried in pain. "Do you know what would've happened to you if I hadn't decided to intervene? Bears don't kill their pray right away, you know. They play with it, drag it around the ground, pulling it clumsily and clawing at it, sometimes biting huge chunks of flesh without killing anyone. Perhaps I should have left it gnaw the flesh off your leg or bite half your face off, and then gotten you to a doctor."

She made a pause, no doubt letting me imagine what it would've been like for me to live with a disfigured face. I tried to ignore it completely, but my stomach clenched instinctively.

"I saved you from that fate." Victoria continued gently "It's enough to keep you indebted to me for the rest of your life, but I'll be saving you from making a lot of mistakes in the near future. There's so much I could ask of you, but I'm sure you'll give me your loyalty when you know the truth."

"What truth?" I asked through clenched teeth, still fighting the image of my body being clawed at by that bear.

Victoria smiled again. "Didn't it seem strange to you how I could take out those two bears all on my own?"

"Not really." I didn't want to think about that blood I had seen there. But it did strike as weird. I hadn't heard a gunshot, and Victoria had been barehanded on that clearing. She noticed my hesitation and leaned in until her mouth was flush against my neck.

"I'm a vampire." She said and dragged her teeth down my flesh, letting me feel just how sharp they were.

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A/N - I'm brouillions on lj. See you in a couple of weeks.


	3. Gentle Mercies

**A million thanks to Courtney (AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf) for betaing this thing (see, hon, I remember your penname... almost)

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Gentle Mercies

It was dark. I wasn't sure if it was night again or if it was just a cloudy day. I couldn't ask Victoria, she wasn't there.

The night after she'd saved me from the bear attack, she hadn't used drugs or water sprays to keep me in fear. No, she had sat with me and told me a story so incredible it completely and utterly rendered me beyond the power of thought.

Vampires, the mystical bloodsuckers from Bram Stoker and Anne Rice's books, as well as their mortal enemies, the werewolves, existed. Most of them lived away from the humans and only made contact to feed from them, but some actually went as far as to infiltrate small cities and live among people in an attempt to regain some of their humanity. Shortly after I moved in with Charlie in Forks, I would meet one such "family" and fall in love with the only loner in it, some guy named Edward Cullen. This Edward would not only make me forsake all plans to go to college and move as far away from the cold and rain as I could, he would also somehow convince me to marry him at eighteen and submit to him for the rest of my life. Victoria knew that because she came from the future – she bore a grudge against the Cullen's and Edward in particular because they had killed her mate James.

"_I tried to kill you on many occasions, but I was either stopped by Edward or your werewolf friend Jacob Black and his pack." _She had said _"I was this close to finishing you off at first, when Edward dumped you. You were such a mess, always putting your life in danger, but that damned pup kept turning around you and kept saving your life. At some point I wondered why you wouldn't just sleep with him, so that he might lose control and kill you when he turned into a wolf, but there was no fun in that. And then I realized that I wasn't going to be able to get to you, the weakest link, unless I caught you when they were not protecting you. So I found a vampire with the particular ability to send people and objects back in time._

"_It was difficult."_ Victoria continued _"The Volturi keep a close eye on the powerful ones, and lock away those that can prove a danger to their rule. But that one had somehow slipped their radar – perhaps it was impossible for him to exercise his ability for too long without killing himself. I paid a great price to get him to take me back several months before you supposedly moved to Forks, so that I could lay the ground work, and I would have to pay a great price to get back, but it is beyond the point." _Her teeth shone ominously_ "I have you with me and it's all that matters."_

All I could think of during that was "Insane, insane, this woman is insane." There was no person on Earth that would have believed such a hackneyed story. Me, giving up my life, my family, my career, my dreams, all to get married to some guy? A guy that, if she was right, had left me like a common asshole and probably never loved me to begin with? It was even more ludicrous that, up to that point, I had never had a boyfriend and had almost convinced myself that I was probably asexual.

And what was that part she had said about me acting recklessly? Riding motorcycles, jumping off cliffs and with Jacob Black no less? Whenever I thought of him, I imagined a scrawny kid that I ran around sometimes when I came to La Push to play with his older sister Rachel. Yuck! What in the world would push me to act so irresponsibly? I was certain that it would have scared the shit out of Charlie.

It was a story that was so ridiculous I couldn't even muster a proper reaction. But if there was a thing for certain, it was that Victoria took it very, very seriously.

"_It was hard for me to get here, little Bella, but I will kill two birds with one stone. I will prevent my James from being killed, and I will also give your Edward Hell." _

That was yesterday. She'd left me sleep for a few hours, before waking me up with another cold bucket of water and proceeded to get me to drink coffee until I felt bloated. However, when I asked for my clothes, she shook her head and told me that if I was in my underwear, I'd never think of running away. I almost snorted at that – any plans of running had gone down the drain when I had gotten lost in the forest. I had no chances of finding a friendly human being on my own and she knew it, but she left me naked anyway and I was left to freeze.

Once or twice she snapped scissors or burned matches near my ears if I started to doze off, but that wasn't often. Instead, she left me in the blindfold to just sit there, listening and feeling my bladder protest. When I had finally begged to be let to use the bathroom, I swore I could hear her smirk before I was promptly taken there. Afterwards, she had left me without the blindfold. Really left me. As in got in the car and drove away, leaving me strapped in the debtor's chair.

I tried calling her several times to just make sure she was gone, before I allowed myself to relax and pondered what she had said to me.

She was crazy, positively crazy, but if there was a silver lighting somewhere in there, it was that she truly wanted to hurt this Edward Cullen. It meant that she would have to go to Forks and use me as bait. It meant that I was still of use to her, which in turn meant that she would have to somehow deliver me to Charlie's doorstep at the appointed time. I didn't know how – maybe she planned take a plane and forge pictures to send Renee, but she definitely had to get me at Forks, unless she wanted Charlie to start a search for our car.

The problem was that our road trip was supposed to take a week, and it had only been two days. Plane ride or no plane ride, there was still a lot of time for her to do all sorts of things to me, and I knew there was more than one way to hurt a person. The chair I was strapped to was a perfect example – it pinned me down, making all movements impossible, even painful, but I was sure it wouldn't leave telltale bruises for Charlie to see.

That was another thing that terrified me about Victoria – there was obviously a lot of thought put into that plan. She was a psycho, but an intelligent psycho. That meant that she had probably had the resources to polish every part of that plan.

My thoughts were interrupted when something was knocked over and I turned immediately in the direction of the noise.

At first I didn't see anything… and then noticed the sleek, muscular body writhing on the floor. It had just knocked down a tin water pitcher.

Oh, God, no, no, please no, I thought with horror as I watched the snake creep across the room and slowly make its way out of my line of vision. My heart beat so fast I was sure it would jump out of my throat.

* * *

Victoria found me with my feet propped up, looking around frantically, and cackled like an old witch: "Oh, I see you found my little friend."

"Please, take it away." My voice was high with panic, and I couldn't relax. Victoria disappeared behind me. I waited to hear her struggle with the snake, but to my surprise no noise reached my ears. I twisted my head to look, and then the snake was draped over my shoulder. "No!" I breathed "No, please, please, no…" the reptile's head rose from my chest and looked up at me. Its split tongue darted from its mouth, before it slid down my body at an excruciating pace and finally found itself on the floor, where it crawled out the open door.

I didn't dare my move. My whole body had gone cold. Finally, I let out a shaky breath…

And Victoria laughed again.

"You don't like snakes?"

"No." I said, too scared to lie.

"Hmm…" she was thoughtful. Then she grinned "We'll discuss this later. Now, we have a guest and I will need you to be nice."

I tensed. "Can I have my clothes?" I began, but then stopped when I saw the man that walked through the door. Tall, burly, wearing a leather jacket and smelling of alcohol. I immediately felt my stomach rise. _God, please no! Please no! Please! I didn't earn that!_

He eyed me brazenly, and then smirked. "And who's that pretty girl, Vicki?"

"That's Bella." She smiled and went over to kiss him. Suddenly, I had a vision of a black widow spider devouring its pray.

"Can I have a go at her when we're done?" he asked. I felt sick. Victoria gave me a smirk over her shoulder and said:

"My, aren't we optimistic?"

What happened next was something I sincerely wished to extract from my memories, or better yet, something I wished I didn't witness at all. But since I was strapped in the bedroom, it left me no choice. Victoria led him to the bed and there was very little to prevent what would happen next. The two of them undressing, laying down, and fucking.

I tried to close my eyes once or twice, but every time I tried to do so, Victoria would catch my eye and look at me in a way that dared me to do what I was about to do. So I kept on looking, nauseated, as they went on, and at some point I discovered I couldn't even look away. My stomach was in knots, and my only coherent thought was: _"Please God, let them fall asleep afterwards, please, please, please."_

There was no doubt in my mind what would happen to me if that guy remained awake. He kept his eyes on me half the time, but when Victoria flipped him on his back and started bringing it on home, he had to close his eyes. I was calm and terrified at the same time, not knowing that to do or say.

Bile rose in my throat when he started to come. My hands balled into fists. _Close your eyes,_ I thought, _close your eyes and pass out. Please. Please._

But instead of passing out, I remained wide awake and unblinking. And then something happened. Victoria rose above him, her eyes narrowing angrily, before she grabbed his wrists and pinned them down. Then she lunged at his throat and bit into his neck.

His eyes opened wide in shock, and he let out a loud scream. She remained undeterred. He struggled, but somehow, she looked like she had suddenly gained great strength. He trashed on the bed and turned his head, making blood spill on his chest and the covers. His face turned towards me and I watched his eyes fill with panic, horror, and then realization. Horrible, horrible realization.

I didn't know how long it took. Maybe fifteen minutes. Maybe a millennia. He wasn't screaming anymore – his mouth was open, but no sound came out. Or maybe I had just gone temporarily deaf? I didn't know. Slowly, his body went slack and his eyes froze. He never stopped looking at me.

Victoria rose from him and cleaned herself up with his discarded shirt. Then, still completely stark naked, she turned towards me. Her face was pristine clean, but I could smell the blood from across the room. Slowly, she made her way to me and touched my face gently.

"I don't share my toys." She cooed, and her breath smelled of rot. My head swam. She yanked at my hair to keep me from fainting. "Listen here and listen well, Bella Swan. I know what you're thinking – you're planning a way of escaping as soon as we get to Forks. But you should remember this – I know who you are, and who your parents are. What would happen if your mother went to pottery class one day and accidentally got hit by a car? How about your father? A stake-out could always go wrong, but what about one of his fishing Sundays? There are many, many ways I could punish insubordination, and as you can see, I am not afraid to take lives." She pointed at the body on the bed. "Try running, Bella, and I will kill your parents in a way so horrible they will curse the day you were born."

I couldn't hold it anymore. The bile rose in my throat and I threw up.

_

* * *

_

**A/N - I was curious - how many of you have an lj account? I just started a community called "Readers United", which is supposed to be a place where everyone can write short reviews on books/fics/manga they have liked (or hated). Would you like to join? I've only started it up, but I'm hoping that at least some of you would be interested. We can be found on http:/ community(dot) livejournal (dot)com/readers_united/**

**Back to the business at hand, Victoria is one creepy b*tch, isn't she?**


	4. First Sight

**Love to Courtney for betaing this chapter.

* * *

**

First Sight

"Remember your role, Bella." Victoria warned me just as the sign announcing Forks flashed past us.

I nodded, too weak and lightheaded to think of anything.

When we had packed up that morning, I expected us to go to an airport and then hire a car exactly like Victoria's. To my surprise, though, as soon as we drove out of the forest we came across a sign that said Seattle was barely ten miles off. From then, it had been a tense ride, where Victoria had interrupted the silence only to fire a question at me to check if I had remembered the fake story yet.

I didn't know whether I did well or not, but I got the gist. We'd done our road trip. It was fun.

My memories of that week were not entirely complete. There were some episodes where I passed out from exhaustion and fear, but also some places which I didn't want to remember again. I was good at suppressing bad memories – already some of the more vivid and gruesome images became blurry. But I had become jumpy and peevish, my skin always seemed to be covered in goose bumps, and I was afraid that she might do something horrible whenever we stopped for a break.

Actually, the last couple of days in the cabin were almost friendly. Victoria let me out of the debtor's chair and let me walk around the house, partly to get some blood in my legs and partly because I was supposed to begin my training.

"_Now here's the plan, dearest."_ She told me the first time she let me out. _"We will go to Forks on the appointed day, and I'll let you off at your father's house. You will meet Cullen at school. Your job is to make him fall in love with you, as it is supposed to happen, and make him trust you enough to expose himself to you as a vampire. When he does, when you could give me solid evidence that he would do anything for you, I will make a blood oath never to harm your parents or any of your friends."_ Her smile was vicious _"You have no reason to doubt me – we take our oaths very seriously. As for you, you will put an effort into seducing him, or else there will be consequences. Maybe I will decide not to kill you."_

She hadn't killed anyone at the cabin since Wednesday night, but she didn't need to. Her message had been clear.

In two days, I did my best to make her believe I was following her ideas. She had already seen my entire wardrobe and deemed it impossible for seduction, so she had gone off into town to get me other things. I learned to walk in heels and skirts, even though I felt uncomfortable to no end, and got the hang of putting on basic make-up. My first attempts were so horrible I ended up getting splashed with cold water again, or threatened that she would lock me up in the bathroom with another snake. In the end, fear was the reason why I looked more feminine than ever. In any other circumstance, I would have been proud to be treated a little like Cinderella or Jane Eyre. Now, however… I never hated Charlotte Bronte more for writing that book and giving me the association.

My plan was to tell Charlie as soon as she was out of sight. She had told me (demonstrated, she claimed) that vampires have superior senses, could run incredibly fast and had immense strength, but whatever that lunatic thought couldn't withstand my father's guns. I was sure of it. Charlie would know what to do. He had to.

* * *

We entered the city, and for once I didn't stop to think how much I hated that place. Right now that town was where my father was, and I couldn't help but feel elated to be with him. I didn't wait for the car to be fully stopped in front of our driveway; I ripped the door open and ran up. He was there, waiting for me, looking guff and awkward as ever, but when I hugged him and felt him hug me back it was like coming home to a safe, safe place.

My whole body went slack with relief.

And then Victoria cleared her throat.

"Ahem…" she said as she opened the trunk of the car "A little help here?"

It took them a little longer than it had taken me and my mom to unload my bags, but soon they were out, thanks were exchanged, and Victoria drove off as fast as she could. I waited a few extra minutes for me and my dad to be inside the house, and hoped to hell that she was far enough.

"Dad…" I began, but he was already hauling my things up the stairs.

"You're early, Bells." He said "I was planning on going to get us some dinner to greet you, but now that I think about it, I don't know what you like."

I followed him up to the second floor, where he opened the door to my childhood bedroom. It was almost the same since the last time I'd seen it – the rocking chair in the corner, the old desk, my kindergarten drawings still pinned on the board above it. The only difference was that the crib had been replaced by a real bed. Charlie settled my things on the floor and looked around nervously.

"I err… I got you some new things for the room…" he said, gesturing at the curtains and bedspread "I'm not sure if you liked orange or not…"

"Orange's cool." I nodded, and suddenly felt how nervous he was. He was probably excited to have me around and anxious not to screw things up. I smiled, trying to be reassuring, but the more we stood in that uncomfortable silence, the harder it got for me to tell him what I wanted.

"Good. That's err… good. So… do you want me to order out, or do you prefer coming to the diner with me?"

"I prefer to stay in." I said quickly. No doubt he had already told the whole town I was coming to live with him and they'd be curious to see me. I didn't know what would happen when I told my dad about Victoria, but I would rather have everyone stare at me like an animal in the zoo later rather than sooner.

* * *

Dinner began awkwardly. Charlie had never been the one for small talk, like myself, but he felt obliged to ask me all sorts of questions about Phoenix, my friends, my mom. His enthusiasm about having me here was obvious, but it irritated me slightly. How could he sit with me, looking so happy and cheerful, when I had just passed the most nightmarish week of my life, and didn't let me tell him what had happened. With every moment, my resolve slipped.

"So…" he began "This Victoria woman… she's your mom's friend, huh?"

My head whipped up and my heart beat faster. There. That was my opening. All I had to do was open my mouth and say: _"She's a psycho. She thinks she's a vampire from the future and has threatened to kill everyone I love if I don't make some guy at school fall in love with me."_

I imagined what he would say if he heard that. He'd probably think I was crazy. Hell, it was crazy. Not to mention that she had delivered me to the front porch on time, as per agreement. My stomach clenched as I realized I'd never be able to tell my father the truth.

"Yeah. But I don't like her." I said. That much was true.

"Oh? Why?"

"Um… she scares me a little. I don't know why… it's just a feeling." I shrugged, while my mind screamed with panic at me. Flashbacks from the week came – the cold water, the darkness, the dying man. I shivered.

"Well, she was nice enough to drive you here." Charlie shrugged, before he noticed my discomfort. "Bells, she didn't… say anything to you, did she?"

_Oh, she did much more_, I thought sourly, but out loud, I just said: "No. She just… makes me uncomfortable. She's too pretty."

He smiled at my childishness. "It's ok, Bells. You won't be seeing her again."

I nodded unconvincingly, but instead of calling me in on my lies like any cop would do (Charlie was the police chief in Forks), he said I was probably tired from the journey and didn't make me stay up with him until late. I dragged myself up to my room, miserable, and slept with my lights on.

* * *

Because I had barely gotten more than twenty hours of REM the previous week, I managed to sleep undisturbed by the rain and the wind until my alarm clock woke me up at six in the morning. I dragged myself out of bed sleepily and went straight into the shower, scrubbing my skin until it was raw, hoping to erase all memory of what had happened to me. I paused in front of the mirror, regarding myself – my skin was paler than normal, and though the black circles under my eyes were mostly gone, there was a blue-ish tint to my skin that didn't look healthy at all. My hair hung, limp and brown, and eyes of nearly the same color looked back at me hauntingly. I shivered; hoping to regain a sense of normality by the end of the week, but when I walked into the room all thoughts flew out of my head.

An outfit consisting of a pink denim skirt and black V-neck blouse was laid out on the bed, as well as stockings and a pair of kitten heels. Over it stood a small note, written in an elegant hand: _"Wait for me by the trees."_

My heart shriveled in my chest and I looked around. My room looked just like I had left it, and yet I knew I hadn't laid those clothes out. I picked up the skirt in disgust – it was shorter than anything I had ever worn in my life, barely brushing the tops of my knees. _There's no way in Hell I'll wear that_, I thought, but just as I was thinking that I imagined Victoria's cold smirk and the man's dying eyes.

Thoroughly disgusted with myself, I put on the outfit and the appropriate underwear. The heels weren't too high, thank God, but they made me appear much taller than I was, not to mention they worked wonders on my usually unimpressive legs. I just hoped I wouldn't trip over my own two feet on the way to school.

My dad had shown me my car the previous night – a rusted old Chevy truck, which was big and sturdy and looked perfect to me. Only when I got down the stairs and walked up to it, I felt freakishly small in my girly clothes next to the monstrosity.

Charlie had already left for work, so I wasn't worried about him thinking I was weird when I loitered around the trees near the house. I hadn't been waiting for a full minute when Victoria appeared.

She looked strange to me, and it took me a minute to figure out why: "Is that my father's jacket?"

Victoria smiled demurely and produced a make-up bag. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to, little one. Now sit down."

It was my dad's jacket, the one he always wore on fishing trips. He usually went around in his uniform, which was why he hadn't noticed its disappearance, but my blood ran cold. So she hadn't only been in my room…

Victoria hummed a tune as she put foundation and continued to instruct me as she whipped out all sorts of products to put on my face. "Now, remember, be friendly, but not too friendly. Look mysterious. Edward's been alive for a long time, so he needs to be really surprised in order to get interested in you." She paused "It's such a shame you're no beauty, but he did fall in love with you, so I guess he'll fall in love with you faster if you act more like a girl."

Doing my make-up, giving me pointers… She was acting less like a sadist planning horrible deeds and more like Renee the first (and last) time she sent me to the homecoming dance. I tried to stay still and keep my answers satisfactory before she finished, but my heart was thumping wildly in my chest. As if she could hear it, she smirked.

"Remember, Bella – do this right, and all will be safe. Fail, and there will be consequences."

She patted my cheek for good measure, and in the next minute, she was disappearing into the woods.

I drove to school with my heart beating a thousand miles per hour.

* * *

The first half of the day passed uneventfully. The rain wasn't strong, so I ran around without an umbrella without being afraid of messing up my make-up. The woman in the office, Mrs. Cope, gave me a map and a chart for my classes, and then, as soon as I went out again, I was accosted by some guy named Erik Yorkie. Looking every bit like the chess club nerd, he all but tripped over himself to offer me his services. I made it very clear that all I needed were directions, but he made such a show of it that it made me feel like I already owed him my firstborn.

Forks High was almost embarrassingly small – there were less people in the whole school than my junior class in Phoenix. Even so, I couldn't remember half the names of the people that approached me that day, and, even when I made an effort to listen to the teacher when he called the class into order, there was not a single Cullen in my class.

By the time lunch rolled around, I had gotten rid of the tension in my shoulders and managed to learn the names of some of the people that seemed to flock around me. Jessica Stanley. Mike Newton. Erik, of course, was there like a bad case of herpes. Angela Webber, she was a nice girl. They seemed to form a rather diverse group, so I sat with them in the cafeteria. I was in the process of getting the juiciest gossip from Jessica when I noticed them.

_Oh, fuck._ I thought. And there I was actually convincing myself that there were no Cullen's, vampires or not, in my school.

There was no way I could have missed them, sitting in a faraway table, not eating and avoiding all eye contact. I knew who they were even before Jessica noticed my stare and, giggling, started to shoot out the information about them. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen's kids. Moved a couple of years ago from Alaska. All adopted. All of them together. Her tone was accusatory, as if they were the scorn of the community. Oddly enough, they seemed to be wrapped up in a cocoon of silence. Whoever had the misfortune of sitting too close to them also looked away and didn't talk.

Victoria had described the family to me, in case I didn't notice them. Rosalie – the blonde model. Alice – the black-haired pixie. Jasper – tall and blond. Emmett – the burly man built like a wrestler. Edward – the boyish one with red hair. I knew it all, but I had to make sure anyway.

"Aren't the Hales a little old to be foster children?" I asked.

"Yeah. They were with Mrs. Cullen since they were like… eight or something." Jessica said flippantly.

"That's awful nice of her, taking care of all of these kids." I commented, wishing absent-mindedly that I had a mom like that.

"Yeah. But I think Mrs. Cullen can't have children." Jessica said, as if that somehow lessened her goodness.

I looked at her. She had brown hair and blue eyes and her features were average looking, but wore a little too much make-up for my taste and her shirt dipped a little too low. As girlish as my own clothes and make-up were, Victoria had at least had the common sense not to take something too risqué. Jessica, however, was just begging for a detention.

I didn't understand why my hackles seemed to rise whenever she opened her mouth. She was nice enough, and extremely friendly to me, but her negative comment about Mrs. Cullen immediately made me defensive, even though I'd never met the woman in my life. But when I looked into her eyes… I just saw the answer. They couldn't hold a candle to Victoria's satanic gaze, and yet there was a smidgen of selfishness in them that gave her away.

Oh, I had to applaud Jessica for doing such a good job at hiding her emotions. Maybe at some other time, we could have been friends. But I was too scared, and frankly, too peeved by all the attention I was getting, to actually consider spending too much time with her.

I focused back on the Cullen's.

"Who's the boy with the reddish-brown hair?" I asked, trying to get something, anything to counter Victoria.

Mockery flashed into Jessica's eyes, as if she thought _"Oh, good luck, sucker!"_ before saying. "Oh, that's Edward Cullen. He's single, but don't waste your time, he doesn't date. Apparently, nobody here is good enough for him." Her tone was casual, even condescending, but I detected the case of sour grapes in her tone. I wanted to ask her when he had turned her down (therefore establishing myself as the new bitch queen of Forks High), but I had more pressing matters to attend. I tuned out the rest of her triad and looked at the table. Edward Cullen wasn't looking at us, but the corner of his mouth was upturned, as if he was laughing at some private joke.

Oddly enough, Jessica's affirmation that he didn't date was comforting. I had already been wondering what had possessed Victoria to think that I would ever give up college for a guy, vampire or not, but seeing Edward Cullen in the flesh gave me reassurance that she was probably wrong. I had crushed on some boys in Phoenix, but whenever I tried talking to them, we ended up chatting like friends at best, and things almost never got steamy. How was it possible that this handsome boy would have even the remotest interest in me? It was impossible.

He suddenly turned and caught my eye. Usually, I would have blushed and looked away, but I was too caught up in my thoughts to notice. His eyes were dark, with bruise-like shadows underneath, as if he was recovering from a black eye.

A faint frown creased his perfect brow and he looked away. When I turned my attention back to my table, I noticed that Mike was talking now, and Jessica was staring at me with some strange mixture of wonder and resentment. What? Had I just broken some unspoken rule to avoid the Cullen's eyes at all costs? She didn't clarify because the bell rang I gathered my things for my next class.

* * *

Angela and I walked to Biology. She was shy, just like me, so silence wasn't a problem with her. I made a mental note to spend more time with her, when we walked into the room and I froze in my spot.

The place was packed. The only free spot was at the back, right new to a boy with a full head of red hair.

I gulped and focused on other things, like giving my slip for Mr. Banner to sign, and getting my books. When he sent me to the back, I focused on not tripping anywhere while maintaining an easy gait in my heels. I saw him, looking straight at me, and plastered an easy, friendly smile at my face.

However, what I considered to be a nice gesture apparently had the complete opposite effect on Edward, who stiffened in his seat, eyes widening in sudden panic. His face contorted and his hand flew up to his face, as if he had just smelled something foul.

I sat down, frowning a little at his reaction. He wasn't looking at me anymore, but his hand was gripping the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turned white. I wondered if it had something to do with me, but… no, it couldn't be. I was perfectly decent, pretty even. Well, pretty-ish. And I smelled good. I was sure of it.

I just thought it was something else. There was still time until class began, so I decided to be friendly.

"Hello." I smiled pleasantly. He turned and looked at me with such unadulterated hatred that my blood froze in my throat.

Luckily, Mr. Banner called the class to order at that very moment and spared me the humiliation of having to be nice to him while he glared at me as if I was a piece of filth stuck to his shirt. I kept my eyes focused forward, but from time to time, when I had to look down to write in my notebook, I noticed him – sitting as far away from me as the table would allow, not looking at Banner but at me, jaw set firmly and eyes obsidian with anger.

The look on his face was positively murderous – it was frighteningly similar to the one Victoria wore, and yet it was different. He was struggling to remain calm, yet I could see the intent in his eyed, as if he was fighting the desire to rip my throat open with his bare hands.

A smirk. Victoria biting that man's jugular. His eyes on me as he died.

A violent shiver went through my whole body, just as the bell rang. Edward was out of his seat before I realized it and was bolting out the door. I took a deep, fortifying breath and stood up.

Mike, who was also in my class, was at my side the very next second, offering to take me to gym. "Did you stab Cullen with a pencil or something?" he asked when we left the room.

"No." I said grimly "I didn't do anything to him."

He looked sympathetic. "Don't worry. They don't like anyone."

"Oh…"

* * *

Luckily, I didn't have a gym uniform yet, so the coach made me sit through the class. I used that hour to mull over what had happened in biology and wondering how to break the news to Victoria: Edward Cullen was a conceited bastard who, if we were the last people in the word, would rather fuck a sheep than fall in love with me.

I suppose she was going to dress me up as a sheep then.

From one perspective, it was a good thing. It just proved to me that everything she had told me was a figure of her sick, sick imagination. It was optimistic, because if it was something she came up, then the whole vampire thing wasn't real as well and I could get Charlie to help me deal with her.

On the other hand, however, Victoria was dangerous. Hell, I had seen her kill a human being right in front of me. I didn't know how she would take my… my what? What had happened? All I did was say 'Hi' and the guy looked at me like I was Satan himself! It was hardly a failure if the guy was a prick to begin with!

I mulled over this as I headed for the office to hand over my slip. I was so absorbed into my own thoughts I failed to see Edward Cullen leaning across the secretary's desk until I had already entered the office.

Stilling with shock, I shrank into the farthest corner as I waited for him to get whatever he came for done. And since the office was empty other than the two of us and Mrs. Cope, I couldn't help but overhear him. He was arguing in a quiet, urgent tone about his schedule. Apparently he was trying to get out of sixth-period Biology.

I was so startled I couldn't move. That prick! He wasn't even trying to hide his distaste when Mrs. Cope kindly told him that everything was full and he couldn't get out of it. I was fully planning on going up to him and ask him what the fuck his problem was, when the door opened behind me, bringing in a gust of air, as a girl slipped in and out of the office. She said nothing, but Edward Cullen's back stiffened and he turned around to look straight at me, as if he had… I don't know, smelled me from across the room.

The look on his eyes was as murderous as before and sent shivers down my spine. Not waiting for Mrs. Cope to be done, without so much as a thank-you, he stormed out of the office as if the Devil himself was on his heels.

Unbelievable! What the hell was wrong with this guy? Was he sick? Was he gay perhaps? Or was he just plain chauvinistic? Did everything remotely feminine insult him to the point where he was too angry to speak? I suddenly wished I had stabbed him with a pencil, at least then I'd have some explanation for his strange behavior.

"So, how did your first day go, dear?" Mrs. Cope asked, seemingly unabashed by Edward Cullen's rudeness.

"Perfect." I hissed through clenched teeth.

_

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_

**A/N - Well, we finally have Edward. But where are the rest of you, I wonder?**


	5. Frustration

**Again, thanks to Courtney for being a wonderful beta. In fact, why don't you show your thanks by reading her stories - it's under AnUnbrokenHorse aka Rushtonelf in this site.

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Frustration

Much to my surprise, when I told Victoria (who was lounging on my bed, waiting for me) about Edward's animosity, she didn't even try to slap me. Instead, she eyed me skeptically, perhaps wondering if I was lying or not, before saying something about my blood smelling potently and wondering out loud if it didn't appeal too strongly for Edward.

"Undress." She ordered me.

I obeyed, too frightened of what she might do if I didn't. She made me lie down, before producing a syringe from her pocket. An empty one.

I stiffened, wondering if she wasn't going to try to euthanize me, but she just used it to draw some blood from the femoral vein. I kept waiting for her to do something else, but she just winked at me and told me to try again on the next day, before she simply walked out the door.

After hyperventilating for a few minutes on my bed, I sat up, dressed into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt and went downstairs. I needed a distraction, so I set out to cook dinner. It was a mundane task, one I was very familiar with since Renee was such a hopeless cook, and it was just what I needed to get my mind off self-assured psychos and stick-up-the-ass pretty boys. One look at Charlie's pantry added shopping to my list of chores, and I ended up looking through the drawers for grocery money.

The state of the house made me scoff. No, it wasn't dirty. In order for something to be dirty, it had to be used somehow, and nearly everything other than the living room, the bedroom and the bathroom looked untouched. There was a thick layer of dust in the top cabinets in the kitchen. The table was pristine other than that spot where I had carved a small cut with my fork when I was three or four years old. The fridge was the only thing that had been regularly checked out and it was filled with nothing but fish and beer.

I frowned, before pushing my sleeves up and getting to work. I drove to the store, bought something for dinner, went back, found whatever cleaning appliances Charlie had, and set out to the task of making the house presentable.

Of course, I didn't try to make order in the living room (Charlie's unofficial den), and I didn't dare go into his bedroom, but I cleaned the kitchen, the hallways, my room, the bathroom, and even the guest bedroom. I put together a meal for dinner and let it cook, while I sat down with a sheet of paper and quickly drew a sort of menu for the rest of the week. I wondered if Charlie would try Mexican if I made some. Probably not yet. My mom's cooking skills had probably left a lasting impression.

However, no matter how mundane the tasks were, they only kept my hands occupied, while my mind ran a thousand miles per hour.

Victoria had taken my apparent failure with relative calmness, but that didn't mean she wouldn't push me to do better on the next day. And the next. And so ad infinitum, unless I did what she wanted of me. I would have to face Edward Cullen tomorrow and somehow make the prick like me, even though the very sight of a woman offended him on every possible level. Usually, I would have left the guy alone, but his over-the-top reaction to me in Biology, not to mention his adamant insistence to get out of the class, had pissed me off significantly. I knew I wasn't pretty, but what the hell stopped him from acting like a civil human being? What happened to common decency, politeness? He looked at me as if I had killed his entire family with a chain saw while he watched from the closet.

Whether he liked it or not, Edward Cullen was going to have to deal with me, because I wasn't going to let this go. Not when this wanna-be-vampire psycho Victoria was around, threatening to kill my parents if I didn't comply. I felt a necessity to talk to Charlie about it, but whenever I thought about it, I imagined him worrying about my sanity and giving me sugared promises while trying to remember the nearest psychiatrist's phone number. And even if he believed me, what could he do? Victoria had somehow kept clean for years, didn't have a criminal record, and had calmly killed a man in front of me – she was intelligent and dangerous. I couldn't do anything, not until I had a more solid plan.

Even showing Charlie the bruise from the place she had drawn blood from wouldn't help. At best, he'd think I tripped. At worst, he'd think I was doing drugs. I was never more grateful for chores.

* * *

By the time I was done, it was nearly seven o'clock and Charlie was parking the police cruiser in front of the door.

"Hey, Bells!" he called.

"In the kitchen!" I yelled back.

He perked up as soon as he walked through the door, sniffing the air like a bloodhound. "You cooked." He said as if it was the biggest surprise of the year. He had a bag from the grocery store in his hand, which, by the looks of it, contained frozen pizza and a six-pack of beer. Same old, same old, I thought.

"Yeah. I used some of the grocery money to buy a few things. I hope you don't mind." I said.

"Of course I don't mind. Thanks, kiddo." He looked around, frowning slightly. Probably wondering why the cupboards were bright yellow instead of moldy green. "And you cleaned up too."

"Just here and the second floor. Figured you'd know where to put your things in the living room." I said as I put two servings of steaks and potatoes on the table. Charlie nodded contentedly, and then ate the food. No, not ate, but wolfed it down, and then asked for second helpings. I couldn't help but smile – I could see his trust in my culinary skills augmenting by the minute. Even with the horror lurking around the woods, it felt good to have this normal moment. Just this once.

After he was done, he ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek: "Thank you for that, Bella, it was great." He said affectionately "I'll do the dishes. You can go do your homework."

That part surprised me and, embarrassingly, put tears in my eyes. Charlie was a stoic man, one that didn't show his emotions much, but that only made them more worth it when they showed. I felt his gratitude stronger because I knew he meant it. Not like Renee. Renee didn't spare her emotions and I had learned that her 'love' was granted to a lot more things than, say, my own 'love'. She loved easily and bounced back from the heartbreaks easily. Me? I was always a wreck.

I thought how reluctant I was to leave Phoenix, but now I felt just a smidgen of gratitude I had done so. Yes, I'd have to cook and clean and do other household chores that Charlie was seemingly unaware of, but now I felt like a kid, not like a parent.

The irony that I fed, cleaned and protected my own parents didn't escape me.

* * *

I went to my room and checked my phone. My mom had called a few times. Suddenly inspired, I flipped it open and dialed her phone number.

"Bella, are you alright?" she asked in lieu of a greeting.

"I'm fine mom. Just calling to see how you are."

"Oh, great, honey. Phil's team is about to leave and I'm busy packing up." There was a faint rustle in the background as she sat down. I imagined our living room in Phoenix, covered in paper and open bags. Renee was so messy sometimes. "So, how was your first day at school? Anything interesting happen? Did you make a lot of new friends?"

"Um, yeah, everyone was really kind to me. They seem to want to get to know me." _For one reason or another_, I added, thinking about Jessica and Angela and the difference between them. The latter was kind and shy, apparently curious but not maliciously so. The former looked like she sought my company for the sole purpose of being under the spotlights as well. And then there was Edward Cullen.

"Did anyone catch your eye?" Renee asked slyly, reading my mind. I paused long enough for her to work it out. "Oh my Gosh, you met someone?"

"Um, yeah, sorta…" I mumbled, not sure how to approach this. _Hey mom, can you give me pointers on how to make this guy fall in love with me, even though he may be gay?_

"I want to know every detail! Was he in one of your classes? How does he look like? Is he smart? I bet he's smart. Don't spare anything!" I could almost hear her bouncing in excitement, as if she was a teenager, not a woman in her mid-thirties.

"Ok, ok, slow down. Um, yes, he's in my Biology class. He's cute, I guess, a lot of people seem to think so. I wouldn't know about smart since he didn't open his mouth in front of me."

Renee seemed to catch up on the fact that something had bothered me. "Was he rude to you?"

"No, no, he just… I said hello and he looked like I had whipped out a gun." I ran my fingers through my hair "It was very frustrating."

"Oh, sweetie, maybe he was surprised. What were you wearing?" Renee asked.

"Um, a pink skirt and a blouse and heels…" I started counting off, when she cut me off.

"Heels? A skirt? Bella, you don't have anything pink in your wardrobe." She said, uncertain. I suddenly felt like kicking myself. Of course. Those were the clothes Victoria had bought for me. My mom had never seen them.

"Um, Vicki and I passed through a couple of shops on the way here." I lied "She err… convinced me to freshen up my wardrobe. You know, new clothes, new confidence."

A part of me wanted Renee to call me out on my bullshit – after all, I hated shopping, and there were only a few limited shades of pink I was willing to wear, not to mention I usually had to be forced on the point of a knife to wear heels. But my mom, for once, didn't realize I was lying straight through my teeth and praised me for choosing to follow Victoria's advice.

"Vicki is a very stylish woman." She said "I bet you look great in them. Take pictures and mail them to me, honey, I wanna see everything."

"Um, ok. But, about this boy…" I urged her on. She chuckled, mistaking my anxiety for impatience. If only she knew how much depended on me taking this guy down… Me, Bella Swan, getting an untouchable guy! What a joke! Even if intellectually I probably surpassed the better part of the school, the matters of the heart were completely foreign. And it wasn't about just letting some hot guy bone me. Making him fall in love with me would take a Herculean effort on my part.

"Ok, first of all, you need to be calm around him. Men are like dogs, if you will forgive the expression, they can smell out fear. You need to be calm and aloof, be the predator and not the pray. It always sets them off balance." She said, and I grabbed a piece of paper to take notes "Now, don't be put off that he didn't talk to you today. A pretty, confident girl can sometimes mortify some guys to the point where they become almost painfully shy. Let him come out of his shell in due time.

"For now, you need to make him feel comfortable. When you dress tomorrow, pick the clothes you like, because you can't put a guy at ease when you yourself are tense. Pick something that isn't too tight, but not too lose. Blue compliments your skin color. Do you have your make up?" when I confirmed, she went on "Go light on it, because you don't need to give the school a reason to put you in detention, but pay attention to the eyes. They're very important. When he starts talking to you, be gentle, polite, and interested. Talk, but don't monopolize the conversation. Show him you're listening, don't stare at his lips too pointedly and don't try to bring his attention to your body, at least now. If he's interested in you, he should be interested for the soul, and not the body."

I caught myself nodding to her instructions, and suddenly felt really pathetic. God, to go through such lengths for a boy! And what had Victoria said? That he would dump me a few days after my eighteenth birthday, sending me into a waking coma, and then come back as if nothing had happened? Why the fuck would I take him back? Moreover, why would I pine away for months and months for him if he was the one to dump me? It made more sense for me to focus on going in college and signing up for kickboxing classes.

* * *

After hanging up, I got dressed for bed and slipped into a restless sleep, willing my body to relax in spite of the wind and the rain outside. Often enough, I woke up with the memory of two dead eyes, looking around frantically for Victoria. In the darkness, my nightmares seemed so much more real than before. An odd shadow suddenly turned into the burly man's silhouette, or the leaves blowing in the wind would turn into Victoria's hair. From time to time I felt a cold chill run down my spine, and I could swear I heard another person's breathing. Once or twice, I woke up suffocating from a nightmare and I swore I felt the cold weight of the snake on my chest and shoulders.

Horrible, horrible fate! And that happened when Victoria left me alone. I didn't dare wonder what would happen if I pissed her off somehow. Around six, when I could get up without worrying that I might wake Charlie, I got up from bed for a cold shower, and vowed, then and there, to do whatever there was in my power to get Edward Cullen to fall in love with me. After all, how seriously could Victoria hurt him? Make me break up with him at most. In my dizzy, scared and sleep-deprived state, I knew that it was a small price to pay if it meant that psycho would leave me alone. How fast could a broken heart heal? He'd probably forget me as soon as he banged a few girls.

However, as it turned out, I needn't have obsessed over how I would act in school the next day, because Edward Cullen was not there.

Or the next day.

Or the one after that.

Or the one after.

I had quickly noticed that the family came and went in a silver Volvo, which, inconsequentially, happened to be the only nice car on the school parking lot. I drove early and waited hidden in the shadows to see if Edward would come out, but he never did. I tried to check their regular table at lunch discreetly, and his brothers and sisters came, but never him. I sat alone in Biology, while mulling over every minute of our inexistent interaction and wondering what I had done to offend him so much. I had talked to a lot of guys over the first day and they looked nothing but glad to be in my company. So was he just a weirdo? Maybe.

Victoria was silent those days, not coming to threaten me or do my make up. As if she knew Edward Cullen was gone. I should have known it wouldn't take long for her to turn back on me.

* * *

After a weekend of running errands with Charlie and meeting everyone, I was almost convinced it was all in my head, so much time had passed without incident. But Sunday night, I woke up to the sound of a window slamming shut. I thought for a moment that I had left mine open, but one look showed me that I was wrong. I was about to fall back asleep, when a door opened, this time closer to me… across the hall. Charlie's snores suddenly got louder.

My heart froze in my chest as I scrambled out of bed and ran across the hall. Sure enough, his bedroom door was open, and there she was, the angel bitch from Hell, leaning over my father. One of her knees was on the bed and her hands lay on his chest as her long hair spilled over her side. It was like a parody of a Dracula movie, only I didn't have it in me to laugh.

Victoria caught my terrified eye and smiled gently: "He won't feel anything, Bella. Unfortunately. But rest assured, he will die if I decide to quench my thirst with his blood."

"Please no." I whispered, half hoping my dad would wake up and shoot her and half praying he would stay asleep. "Please, I'm doing everything I can, it's not my fault."

She didn't answer. She just focused on his neck, seemingly mesmerized by the dark blue vein that ran behind his ear. "Don't tell me you don't want to see it again." She smirked "I saw you looking at me as I drained the other man dry. You couldn't take your eyes off his."

"I… Please, don't do anything to him, I promise I'll do anything you want…"

"Admit it." she interrupted me "Admit it, Isabella. You watched me kill that man, and you liked it."

"I…"

"You liked it, and you would like to see it again."

"No!" I hollered, and in the next moment, the window was blown open, Victoria was gone, and my father was stirring in bed.

"Bella?" His voice was thick with sleep and confused "Kiddo, what are you doing here?"

"I…" My knees turned to jelly and I grabbed the side of the door. My eyes filled with tears of relief, even though I knew that her only purpose had been to scare me. "I had a nightmare, daddy. I had a nightmare." I sobbed.

"Oh, baby…" he sat up and held out his hands for me. Usually, my dad and I weren't huggers, but this time, I ran into his arms. I couldn't help it. I needed the comfort. I needed for someone to tell me it was going to be alright, even if it wasn't.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed.

"It's ok, kiddo." He repeated "It's ok. It was all a dream, a bad dream."

"It's so real." He didn't even notice the present tense "It's so real."

"There, there. It's over now."

It occurred to me that in spite of his teenage daughter having a breakdown in his room, he remained calm and composed for my sake. And then how happy he had looked when I had come to cook dinner. Or when he had shown me my room. Charlie… Dad… wasn't just accepting me in his life, he was ecstatic I had chosen to be a part of it. And I felt bad, for all of those times I had taken him for granted.

"Hey, Dad…" I began "Thanks for taking me in."

He paused, before ruffling my hair.

"Don't thank me for that, Bella. Loving unconditionally is what parenthood is about."

He held me for a little longer, until I noticed him starting to yawl and announced that I'd be going to bed now. He patted my shoulder and told me I could keep the lights on, if I wanted to. We parted, and I was barely out the door when I heard him start snoring again. When I came back, my bedroom light was on and there was a small note on my bed.

"_Keep trying."_

_

* * *

_

**A/N - Comments?**


	6. Small Victory

**A belated, but heartfelt "Happy Birthday" to my dear beta, Courtney or AnUnbrokenHorse aka RushtonElf as she is known here. And maaaaaaany moooooore! *toasts*  


* * *

Small Victory**

Needless to say, I woke up on Monday morning with less than pleasant feelings towards Edward Cullen. The night had left a bittersweet taste in my mouth, with fear, relief and anxiety having followed me into my dreams. My head hurt from the lack of sleep and I felt murderous.

Feeling lazy, I swept my hair in a high pony tail and put on a shirt with a round collar that made my neck look like a Barbie dolls. I was careful with my make up, trying to cover up the dark circles under my eyes, and put a touch of lipstick. It was… tolerable. Even though Edward Cullen probably wouldn't be there.

The first half of the day passed uneventfully. Mike and Jessica showed up everywhere, sticking on me firmly and chatting me up. Sometimes Erik got to me first, and other times I had the good fortune of walking with Angela. Out of everyone I had met at Forks High, she was probably the only one whose presence wasn't torture. Seriously.

I walked into the cafeteria and intentionally didn't look at the Cullen table. I wasn't going to make a habit, after all. If he was there, I would look like a crazy stalker, and that was _not_ the impression I needed to make.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you." Jessica giggled in my ear and I thanked my mom silently for her aloof advice.

"Oh?" I tried to sound uninterested. "Does he look pissed?"

"No." Jessica answered after a brief pause, no doubt because she had been to busy staring at him. "Should he?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "He looked like somebody pissed in his Cheerios last time I saw him." I threw a look over my shoulder and caught his eye for a split second before he looked away again. "I think he doesn't like me."

"The Cullen's don't like anybody." Jessica answered, echoing Mike's words from a week ago. "Well, they don't acknowledge anyone long enough for them to not like them. He looked away as soon as you turned, though." Disapproval colored her tone. What? Hadn't the great Edward Cullen ever backed down before?

"Probably because he has no business staring at me." I said as I paid for my food and moved towards out usual table. Jessica followed me, looking curious.

"Wow. You really must've pulled a number on him in Biology." She said, looking like she would press for details "What did you do?"

"I said hello." I said calmly. She looked at me like I had just broken another carnal rule.

"You greeted him?" She asked, torn between amazement and horror "Nobody ever greets the Cullen's."

"Is that illegal or something?" I asked.

"Well, no, it's just that… they're always so cold towards everyone." Jessica bristled "Probably because they're rich. They always look down their noses at everyone, thinking that they're so high and mighty."

Oh. I saw her plan. She was talking trash about them to drag me into it. However, I wasn't about to be drawn in that foolish chatter. Letting out a small smile, I said: "Maybe it's because nobody made an effort to get to know them before, they've forgotten what being polite is all about. Luckily, some people still know their manners." I grinned. Jessica paused, wondering if I was agreeing with her or mocking her, before settling on a 'whatever' face and focused her attention on something else.

However, I thought about him. He was there; I had seen him in the flesh, which probably meant he'd be there in Biology. I wondered about the best way to greet him. Friendliness was a good idea, but the sleepless nights and the fright Victoria had given me with Charlie had pretty much deprived me of all warm sentiments towards the boy. Not to mention that friendliness hadn't gotten me anywhere.

* * *

I waited for the last moment to leave the cafeteria, and yet I got to the lab before him. So much for making an entrance, I thought as I sat down, took my notebook out and startled doodling on the cover. I heard the gust of wind and the chair scraping against the floor, so I looked briefly from the design to meet his eye, acknowledging his arrival, and then went back to my drawing.

He sat down, and in the next minute the most wonderful, musical voice said:

"Hello."

I looked up slowly, unsure that he was talking to me. But his face was angled in my direction, so I guessed he was.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to introduce myself before." _Didn't get a chance? How about didn't want to?_ "My name is Edward Cullen. You're Bella…"

That was where it was socially acceptable for me to nod, but instead, I frowned. "How did you know my name?"

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been expecting you." He said with a small smile.

"No." I corrected "How did you know my name was Bella?" I knew it was silly, but I didn't have class with any of his siblings, and, well, my paranoia had reached new heights. I was starting to worry I was going slightly insane myself.

"Do you prefer Isabella?" he looked confused.

"No. But that's how my dad calls me behind my back. That's how everyone seems to know me as." I said.

"Oh…" He frowned and looked down.

_Well, that was helpful;_ I thought and returned to my drawing. Wait! Did that mean he'd been asking around for me? Like… he'd been curious about me? No way! He probably heard Mike and Erik fight over me in the men's room. Why would he be asking around for me, he showed me that the sight of me revolts him?

Though he seemed perfectly amiable now.

Banner called the class into order and announced the lab for the day. Separating onion root cells into the proper stages of mitosis. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Been there, done that. Honestly, if this was what Forks called advanced placement classes, I was going to be in serious trouble by the time I graduated.

Edward Cullen hesitated as Banner passed the slides and microscopes, but when the exercise was started, he pushed it towards me. "Ladies first?" he smiled tightly. What? Was he constipated now? I frowned; not wanting to leave my neck exposed to him for some reason, but fought the urge and looked down at the slide.

"Prophase." I announced quickly.

He looked doubtful. "Do you mind?"

"Be my guest." I said. My cold tone and clipped sentences seemed to show him I was in no mood to chit-chat, because we finished the lab in less than a couple of minutes. We were the only ones to be done. I went back to drawing.

"Too bad about the snow, isn't it?" His voice floated towards me, and I looked at him. Snow? Oh, right, there had been a dusting that had been washed away by the rain. I hadn't noticed. Briefly, I wondered if I had to agree, and then Renee's advice came to me.

_Be yourself._

"Not really." I replied. That seemed to surprise him.

"How so?"

"I don't appreciate getting cold and wet." I smirked when I realized the double entendre. "Snowball fights aren't my thing."

"Careful." He grinned "Such words could get you in prison around here."

I was taken aback. His smile did something to his face, lit it up in a way that showcased his manly, charming features, and made him a lot more attractive. I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. "It's ok when you have someone to bail you out." In a fit of bravery, I winked and grinned at him "Don't tell anyone though. I haven't told anyone else."

He swallowed. "Your secret's safe with me."

I gave him a little smile, before returning to my drawing. Banner passed our table, curious as to the reason why we weren't working. After giving our answers a once over, he turned to my partner and asked: "So, Edward, didn't you think Isabella deserved a go with the microscope?"

"Bella. Actually, she identified three of the five."

One might have been flattered at his desire to correct people using my full name. However, I was too busy seething at Banner for undermining my intelligence to care. The man looked down on me and frowned. "Have you done this lab before?"

"We did it with whitefish blastula." I shrugged nonchalantly. _Onion_ _root. Come on, Banner, are the kids here really that stupid? _I looked at Mike and his lab partner, who were comparing two slides and talking about the "little beak thingies". Ok, maybe they were.

"Were you in advanced placement program back in Phoenix?" Banner persisted, still thinking that my partner had done the lab. I answered affirmatively, if only to get him off my hair. "Well, it's good that you two are lab partners then." He walked away, muttering, and I scowled at his back.

What was it with that guy? Did I look like such a bimbo that I wouldn't understand basic eleventh grade material? I heard a light chuckle and turned around to glare at Edward Cullen. "Something funny, partner?" I asked in a sticky sweet voice.

"Just your expression. Did Mr. Banner say something to offend you?" he eyed the retreating teacher curiously.

_Talk, but don't monopolize the conversation._

"Well, it is a tad insulting that he thinks I can't handle that lab, but he's ok." I shrugged. "I can always depend on you when I have an author's block."

He gave me a tight smile. It suddenly occurred to me that he was putting a lot of effort into hiding his teeth from people – whenever he smiled, it was tight-lipped, careful. Maybe his teeth had grown badly – I remembered how much I hated their pulling when I was little, so much I ended up in braces until my freshman year. Poor guy – I could sympathize with his dental troubles.

"So, how do you like it in Forks?" he asked, obviously trying to make conversation.

I shrugged. "It's looking up." _Since you're talking to me._

"Even with the cold and the wet?" he pried

"Even with that."

"It must be hard for you to be here, after living in Arizona for so long. What made you move here in the first place?"

_At first I was doing it for my mom, but then this psycho chick told me I have to make you fall in love with me_. "It's complicated."

"I'm sure I can keep up." He persisted. I frowned. So now the misogynic had suddenly turned altruistic? I hesitated – I couldn't give him the full story, obviously, but I could give him the old 'my-mom-remarried' shit I'd been giving the rest of the people. However, I was sure this admittedly beautiful boy wouldn't leave it at that. No, he would pry and pry, until I spilled my guts to him, not like Mike or Jessica who wisely shut up and left their assumptions for themselves.

I didn't know why I knew that. I just did.

"Life happened. I just realized I ought to spend some quality time with my dad." I said, and that much was true. Charlie was my father and I loved him, of course I did, but it wasn't until Victoria happened that I realized how much I had taken him for granted. If there was a single thing I had to thank that psycho about, it was that.

"There's another reason though." He said, proving how right I was "Surely, you could see him anytime you wanted."

"What's it to you?" I asked coldly. Who was this guy? What right did he have to treat me like a piece of trash one minute and then pry into my personal life in the next? My defiance must've shown on my face (that treacherous open book), because he pulled back immediately.

"You know, sometimes I ask myself that exact question." He mumbled "But you have to admit, it's curious. Your life is Phoenix and you drop everything to come here. I'm willing to bet something bad happened in your family. Your mom remarried, after all."

My eyebrow rose. "Oh, so you know that? And here I was thinking girls were the only ones gossiping in the bathroom."

He recoiled as if I had bit him, and for a moment I thought he was going to blush. It was then that my survival instincts kicked in and screamed: _"What are you doing? You're supposed to be seducing him, not scaring him to death!" _

I recovered it with a light laugh, low enough to keep the others from noticing: "People divorce and remarry all the time. I never thought of it as a big drama."

"You say that, but I bet you're suffering more than you let on."

_Oh, you have no idea. _"Life's not always peaches and roses." I said oh-so-sagely, even though I was frowning. "You can't expect things to always go according to plan. Something is always bound to mess up. The best you can do is get out of the mess, instead of letting yourself sink in it."

That was entirely Zen and entirely true, even though Edward Cullen probably thought I was talking about my mom's second marriage. I was talking about Victoria. That psycho was on the loose, fucking with my mind, threatening my family, and all I could do to save myself from her was complying. I just hoped I could get out of the mess before a tragedy happened.

The memory of two dead eyes staring at me hit me like a cold slap in the face. No. A tragedy had happened. A horrible, horrible tragedy. Even if that drunk had wanted to do horrible things to me, I had seen his eyes when he was dying, seen him struggling to live. No life deserved to be taken.

Edward looked at me with a frown, as if his eyes were somehow stronger than an average man's, as if he could stare right into my mind.

I stared back defiantly.

"You're calm, and yet there are nightmares in your eyes." He whispered. I frowned at him quoting Nalini Singh, and then wondered why he seemed somehow different.

"Did you get contacts?" I asked suddenly. He blinked at my strange retort.

"No." he smirked.

"Your eyes seem different than the last time I saw them." I explained.

"Oh." He said and immediately looked down. He didn't try to make conversation afterwards.

It wasn't until the bell rang and he darted off his seat (again) that I realized what I had done. I had remarked on the change of his eye color. Therefore, I admitted that I had noticed his eyes before. And I had noticed because I had stared at him the first day. Basically, I had admitted that I was observing him like some crazy stalker chick!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

With one little comment all my carefully crafted composure had slipped. Just because he had cornered me, I had lost my shit and blurted something stupid, and now I had put him on his guard. _Great job, Bella. Some predator you make. Winnie the Pooh is more butch than you._ Shit! Fuck! Damn it! What was I going to do now? What would I do if the guy stopped talking to me again, this time for good? Victoria would probably have my guts for garters!

* * *

I was wretched in gym, and then on the ride back home. Luckily, Vicki didn't show up until later, giving me enough time to compose myself and pull the wool over her eyes. Just for a little while, I thought, and wondered how I would approach Edward on the following day. Should I be calm? Cool? Friendly? Indifference seemed to be best.

That night, I didn't sleep. I was too afraid to turn the light off, and went out every hour to check on Charlie. He slept as soundly as a log. I watched the dark night and noticed the first snowflakes start to fall.

_Snow in spring… typical Forks weather_, I thought.

I drove to school more carefully than before, afraid of hitting a patch of ice and crashing my truck. From time to time, I noticed a particular shade of gray and remembered the color of that man when he had been bled dry. I thought how wonderful it would be to really crush my car – it was so old nobody would think it wasn't and accident, and I would be out of the game for good. The only thing stopping me from doing just that was… well… for one thing, I didn't know how badly I could hurt myself. For all I knew, I could land myself in the hospital for a long time. I could go into a coma. I could kill myself. And I couldn't do that the Charlie.

Not to mention Victoria would find a way to exploit that.

So I drove safely to school and, like the obsessive stalker I was, noticed immediately the silver Volvo on the other end of the parking lot. Edward was standing next to it.

I thanked my lucky stars as I exited the cab, wondering if I could get to talk to him before class and assess the situation. He was standing close to the entrance, so I would have to go by him anyway.

I was about to cross the lot when I noticed something gleaming at the back on my truck. Curious, I went over there and checked the tires. There, gleaming silver in the morning gloom, were snow chains.

My eyes started tearing up. So that was why I had gotten to school without accident – Charlie must've thought forward and gotten chains for my truck, even if it was spring. He was so considerate. So considerate I wanted to cry. Why had I ignored him so much all these years?

My little emotional moment was interrupted when I heard tires screeching against the ice. Curious, I raised my head to meet Edward Cullen's terrified gaze. A second later I became aware of the van coming towards me at full speed.

I didn't have time to scream. My hands flew up to protect my face instinctively and I curled away from the car, steeling myself for the impact. When it came, I was as tense as a violin string; only not from the direction I expected it. Something akin to a steel ring closed around my middle and pulled me down a nanosecond before the van came in contact with the rear end of my truck. The next moment I was on the ground, my head hitting the ice with a deafening crack, and I became aware of someone standing next to me.

The screeching hadn't stopped. I opened my eyes just in time to see the van turning around and coming straight towards me, as if it was being dragged by some sort of magnet. Someone cursed in my ear and two pale hands stretched out in front of me as if to stop the van.

And they did.

What happened next was so fast it became a blur. The van was raised and something was dragging my feet away from it. Then the vehicle was set down, its tire hitting the place where my feet had been a second ago. The force of the impact shattered all the windows.

Then everything was silent. Horribly silent. And then the screaming started.

"Oh my God!"

"Call an ambulance!"

"Bella! Are you alright?"

"Get Tyler out of the van!"

My breath was coming out in short, shaky gasps. And then I heard the voice, whispering in my ear.

"Bella? Are you alright?" I looked up and straight into Edward Cullen's golden eyes.


	7. Defeat

**Defeat**

If there had ever been a good time for a woman to faint, it was then. My whole body was shaking with cold and fear, and I became aware of an acute throbbing behind my ear. Moreover, Edward Cullen was holding me to his body, his arms a steel cage around my waist, and I could smell his scent; sweet and provocative and very, very male. All of a sudden, the fear turned into something else and my head wasn't the only thing throbbing.

_Oh, for the love of… What now, did I really turn into one of those adrenalin junkies?_

He was still looking at me, expectant. Oh, right, he'd asked me a question.

"My head hurts." I said.

His eyes darkened and he looked around frantically. Teachers and students were shouting at them not to move, and I could hear the sirens of the incoming ambulances in the distance. "They'll get us out of here soon." He said, trying to sound reassuring.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I know." I said, feeling the familiar calm seep into my bones. "I'm not afraid."

I wasn't. It was an old trick; one I had learned when I was very young. Painful memories and experiences were things I could usually block well (with some notable exceptions), and now, with the initial shock wearing out, I could feel myself getting calmer almost abnormally fast.

He seemed to notice that my body went slack against his, because he shook me carefully. "Bella, don't fall asleep, do you hear me?"

"I'm not falling asleep." I glared at him. And then I remembered. "How the hell did you get to me so fast?"

He recoiled, before frowning. "I was standing right next to you, Bella."

_Yeah right, and the moon is made out of green cheese. _I thought. He should've said that when I was still recovering from the shock – maybe I would have believed him then. But now…

"Liar. I saw you standing next to your car." I hissed "How the hell did you get here so fast?"

His eyes darkened from gold to amber with anger. Oh, shit!

"This is not the time and place to discuss this." He brushed me off. I narrowed my eyes.

"How about later?" I asked. His jaw clenched.

"Fine. Later."

Just then, they started to pull the van away from us. EMTs with stretchers came over, checking my pulse and attempting to put me in a neck brace. I tried to tell them I was fine, but Edward Cullen, that bastard, told them I had hit my head. As if being carried into the ambulance like some piece of meat wasn't humiliating enough, my dad arrived just in time to witness it.

By the time I managed to convince Charlie to calm down, the doctors had ran all their tests, asked their questions and subsequently determined that, lo and behold, I was alright. I couldn't believe how overblown and annoying this was, and I was willing to wring Cullen's neck for making it look like I was the second Lazarus. The only time when I was near passing out was when they wheeled Tyler in.

I had never talked to the guy, but as soon as he saw me, he started talking to me, telling me how sorry he was and how he was going to make it up to me, as if we had been friends since we were in diapers and he had committed the most horrible crime. The more he was talking, the faster his heart beat and pumped the blood out. I couldn't hear a single word, just watched the red patches on his head and arms and thought: _"don't throw up, don't' throw up…"_

Cullen came through the door and I immediately doubled my efforts.

"Hey, Edward, I'm so sorry…" Tyler began but he just raised his hand.

"No blood, no foul." What the hell was he talking about, couldn't he see that stuff? "What's the verdict?"

"We're fine. How come you're not strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"It all comes down to who you know. But don't worry; I've come to spring you." He seemed briefly worried by my greenish complexion, but then the door opened and the most fuck-hot doctor in the history of TV-shows and Harlequin books came in. As sacrilegious as it sounded, George Clooney in ER had nothing on him. He was blonde, he was pale, and he had golden eyes…

"Hi, dad." Edward said.

… And he was married… of course. I mean, of course! That was just what was supposed to happen, right? I get the brooding guy, not the hot doctor with the hottest panty-dropping smile there was. Gorgeous!

Dr. Cullen checked my wounds out and asked me if I was feeling sick, cold, or concussed. I replied no, no, and no, unfortunately. He said my dad might have to wake me up every couple of hours tonight so that they could make sure I wasn't concussed. I thought that I wouldn't mind it if he were the one to check up on me.

And then I remembered Jessica's vicious comments about Mrs. Cullen the first day and mentally kicked myself. God, I was pathetic! Wasn't it enough that the poor woman was the scorn of this Podunk city because she couldn't have children? I couldn't imagine how hard it was for her to have a hot husband and have everyone frown at her. God, I wanted to rip Jessica's throat out!

Also, I had a hot boy to confront. I didn't care about being aloof and sexy; Edward Cullen had an explanation to give me.

* * *

I found him talking to his father in the hallway. Both saw me approach and immediately stopped talking, which could only mean that they were talking about me. The frown on Edward's face and Dr. Cullen's polite smile just confirmed it for me.

"Dr. Cullen, I was wondering if I could have a word with Edward, in private?" I smiled.

The man nodded and gave his son a significant look, before going down the hallway. I didn't have time to stare at him; there was a bigger fish to fry with his son. I turned towards Edward and narrowed my eyes. He copied my expression.

"I guess that in cases such as these it's good to express a sense of gratitude." I said "So thank you for saving my life."

"You're welcome…"

"Now how about you tell me how you got to me so fast?"

Edward Cullen smiled condescendingly. "I was standing right next to you, Bella."

"No, you were next to your car, across the lot." I said. His smile remained, as if he was mocking me.

"You hit your head pretty hard." He said "You must've gotten memories from different days mixed up. I was right behind you when Tyler came."

Either he was trying to hypnotize me somehow or he was repeating himself a lot. I glared at him, showing that I wasn't buying it one bit. "Ok, fine, let's assume you were standing right next to me. How about the way you stopped the van? How did you do that?"

"I told you. You hit your head." He hissed through clenched teeth, as he looked around for eavesdroppers. I snorted.

"Oh, yes, because I get threatened to be turned into a waffle by runaway vehicles every day. So when I hit my head, it was just another day I was seeing, and it had nothing to do with you picking up a full size van with one hand."

"What are you implying?" he asked "That I somehow got through the parking lot in warp speed and stopped your death with my bare hands?"

I paused. Well, when he put it like that, it did sound pretty crazy. It was humanly impossible for him to do what he had done…

Unless he wasn't human.

My blood ran cold. _No. Not that. Please, not that! Don't let that psycho Victoria turn out right!_

I swallowed and looked at him defiantly. However, my voice shook when I said: "You can say whatever you wanna say, but I'm willing to bet there are a couple of nice big dents on the side of Tyler's car door, and they'll fit your hands perfectly."

Edward narrowed his eyes and for a second my survival instinct reared its head. _Don't piss him off_, my senses screamed. _He's like Victoria. He's just like her._ The man's dying face was in front of me, his eyes filling every inch of my vision.

The next second, Edward was shaking me by the shoulders. "Bella, snap out of it." he was saying, his voice frantic "Are you alright?" He bent down to look at my eyes, searching for signs of brain damage.

"I'm fine." I shrugged his hands off. My skin was ice cold. "What just happened?"

"You went into shock." He said, concerned. "I was about to call a nurse. Are you feeling sick? Do you need water?"

"I'm fine." I almost screamed "And don't try to change the subject."

He blinked, before he became cold again. From worried to indifferent… that guy could put a teenage girl to shame with his mood swings. "There is nothing to discuss. You hit your head. You got things mixed up. I saved you, but I most certainly am no Superman."

"You really think I'm going to let things go just like that?" I asked. Edward clenched his jaw and hissed through gritted teeth:

"It will be in your best interest to just forget about today. Erase it from your memory."

"I will if you tell me what happened." I didn't care about the plan anymore. I wanted the damned man to tell me if he was a vampire or not. It wasn't because I didn't want to believe him. More than anything, I wanted to think that Edward Cullen was just another guy, a handsome and slightly odd, but a guy nevertheless, a human. I wanted to believe him, but the more I tried the more I heard Victoria's voice in my head, describing my future and telling me she would use me to change it. "I won't let this go."

"Then I hope you enjoy disappointment." He said and stalked away.

That was enough confirmation for me.

* * *

Victoria was ecstatic when she heard of the accident, taking it as a sign that Edward was falling in love with me. She was delighted at the danger the younger Cullen had put his family in. The words "Volturi" and "punishment" came up in her rant often enough, until she suddenly realized that it might somehow impede _her_ plans, so she instructed me to keep the secret for now.

I wouldn't have objected even if there was another option.

Because I knew it was true. Victoria wasn't just a psycho, but a vampire psycho, and one from the future to boot. How else could I explain Edward's sudden feat of speed and strength? How else could he have gotten to me so fast? How else would he have stopped that van? Damn it, I had seen the thing being towed away when my dad drove me home – it was a mess. The windows shattered, the doors dented, Tyler's parents would be lucky if they could sell that thing for parts. It shook me because it showed me just how strong these guys were. I felt sick thinking that I had spent a week at Victoria's mercy, and of all the times I had been too bold with her. The danger I had been in…

I suddenly realized how foolish my plans to tell my father had been. What would have happened if I had and he believed me? Picked up his shotgun and issued a restraining order? He'd have died in a matter of days. She had proven that she had no problem infiltrating people's houses, getting their personal belongings, killing… oh, God, did the Cullen's drink human blood? I tried imagining it – gorgeous Rosalie latched onto the neck of a burly man. Emmett ripping through a jugular. Edward with bloodstained lips.

And eyes, thousands of eyes, staring at me, dead, hopeless.

I pretended to sleep to calm Charlie down, but as soon as he went to bed I turned the nightlight on and stared at the wall. I felt sick to my core.

Obviously, I was in the hands of some really dangerous people, and it wasn't just Victoria. Somehow, the thought of a guy being able to lift a full-size van with one hand didn't make me feel fuzzy and warm on the inside. He could kill me at any moment and yet I… I had to make him fall in love with me? Lord, how could I do that? I was in way over my head, and I was terrified.

* * *

I didn't know how I went through it, but I guess that the first day was the hardest. Going to school, trying to look normal (well, as normal as I was expected to look after a near-death experience), meeting Edward. It started the moment I was out of my truck. It was as if the entire school flocked at my side. Some covered up their eagerness by acting as if I was made out of glass, babying me, offering me support, almost walking behind me with a cushion in case I suddenly decided to faint, but in the end everyone wanted to hear the story.

Lying was something I had never been good at, but necessity changes people, makes them do things they would have never dreamed of doing. I lied that day, as I had lied to my father before. I fed them the story – the reason I wasn't a grease spot on the parking lot was because Edward, who had been discussing our biology assignment with me, had pulled me out of the way. I lied boldly, extravagantly, but also, I fancied, with gusto. Nobody questioned me. In fact, they fed off the drama. Any other story, including the truth, wouldn't have been satisfying enough. The girls sighed at Edward's daring rescue, no doubt imagining themselves at my place, while the guys wished they were him, if only to be stuck between two cars with me in an intimate embrace. They demanded details. How had he held me? Was he strong? Did he say anything to me?

I refrained from drawing a picture that was way too romantic. He'd been his usual cold self. He'd acted as if he were a doctor and I – a cadaver on the dissection table. Ok, maybe I didn't put it like that, but I got the message through.

But even after spending the first part of the day telling and retelling what had happened to the eager listeners, it was the meeting with Edward that I dreaded the most. Would he be mean and scary like the first day, or pleasant and welcoming like the second? Would he be surprised I was going along with the story, or look pleased by it? Those questions plagued me, along with the knowledge that he was a vampire – one that was strong enough to kill me and fast enough to cover up his tracks before anyone noticed. It was terrifying.

I walked into biology and my heart was beating as fast as a hummingbird. I approached our table and plastered an easy smile on my face as I noticed him. He wasn't looking at me, but he turned his head slightly when I greeted him:

"Hello, Edward." I smiled.

He nodded curtly and looked away again.

And as my heart plummeted I realized there was one thing that I hadn't considered yet. The one thing that could really beat me to the ground.

Indifference.

_

* * *

_**A/N- Once again, kudos to Courtney for betaing. I hope you're getting better, hon.**

**In other news, I'm nanoing like crazy. This chapter, in fact, is in honor of me hitting 21,000 words (no need to apllause or anything). The first chapter of my novel is up on my nano page (username is Brouillons), or, if you want, you can find me on goodreads as well. **

**Comments?  
**


	8. Silence

**Once more, kudos to Courtney, my darling beta. I miss you, doll.  


* * *

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**Silence**

Edward didn't speak to me for weeks.

In the beginning I thought he was just being stubborn, so I redoubled my efforts in seeming friendly. I kept telling the story the way it was supposed to be told, and even after the bigger flocks flew off, I didn't waver from it whenever someone, -a teacher or a student- asked me about it. At the same time, I tried to be more alluring, dressing in the cute clothes Victoria had bought me and doing my make-up. I was nice to him, greeting him whenever I came around and when we worked together.

Yet he paid me no mind. In fact, he sat absolutely still in Biology, like a statue, without blinking or writing or even breathing (I think). Whenever the teacher asked him something, he was as curt as possible. He never looked at me. He never spoke to me, even during an assignment. I never once caught him looking down my shirt, like I had seen Mike Newton or Tyler Crowley sometimes did. Even when I took a risk and dressed more provocatively, he continued to fuel my gay suspicions. I would have taken it up a few notches, if it wasn't for the fact that I ran into my dad on the way out one day and he asked me why I was still in my pajamas.

Even with a psycho vampire breathing in my neck, I still had a sense of decency about me.

Actually, Victoria was pretty accepting of Edward's silence at first. She said something about "lying low so that the Volturi don't get them". I still couldn't understand what a Volturi was, but I guessed it was something like a vampire bogeyman because she kept invoking them while cackling gleefully. Apparently, they were a very serious threat, because he avoided me like a plague, but I didn't see how any of that helped me.

Around the middle of the second week, however, she started getting tired of my lack of productivity and changed plans. She told me she would be going away for some time, but warned me not to slack off because she would be watching. No abuse, no threatening phone calls, no notes, but the threat was there and it kept me freezing cold with fear.

In fact, Victoria's silence was horrifying because it filled me with dread. In comparison, Edward's broody mood was just plain irritating.

Desperately seeking something to get my mind off that Chinese Water Drop Torture that had become of my life, I volunteered at Mrs. Grand's store. Mrs. Grand was an associate of the Red Cross in Forks and was in the business of providing things for the Quileute reservation at La Push. She usually drove there two or three times a week with medical supplies, food and different things for the poorer families there, but since old age was starting to catch up with her, she needed a helper. My old truck was big enough to carry the supplies and I got the job.

I also managed to become a little closer to Angela Webber, the shy, quiet girl who always seemed to be worried about something. After a few days, she confided to me that she often went for a swim in the community pool in the evenings, which gave me a perfect opportunity to get out of the house. Also, Angela was probably the only person in Forks High who treated me like a normal human being, which was a refreshing change, and being under water most of the time saved us from making unimportant small talk. After the first time, we both silently decided not to tell anyone at school about our extracurricular activities.

It made me appreciate her even more, because it proved to me that she was truly interested in me as a friend. If it had been anyone else, they would have told the entire school in an attempt to boost their popularity. Angela seemed more concerned of having the likes of Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley contaminating her refuge than anything else.

But there was a darkness which even friendship couldn't expunge. Even if Victoria never showed herself to me, I knew she was out there, watching. Often enough, I woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like there was someone out there, watching me. Windows and doors would be open, just a little, letting in a cold draft that made my neck hurt in the morning. From time to time, I would wake up thinking I heard someone creeping up the stairs, stealthily, but not too stealthily, deliberately trying to spook me.

It was starting to remind me of Stephen King's story "The Boogeyman", and that was no conciliation for me, because that story was such a major mindfuck it kept me awake for a whole week straight after I read it. It had given me the creeps when I had read it, but living it… it was worse than anything I could have imagined.

Do you know that feeling, when you wake up in the middle of the night and think there is something there in the hallway, something breathing under the door and waiting for you to come out? Do you know that urge to just cover yourself up with the blanket and pretend it's not there, pretend you're somewhere else, somewhere safe, and that whatever it is out there, it wouldn't come in and yank your blanket?

I succumbed to the urge, several times. But the memory of what Victoria had done with Charlie sometimes had me bolting out of bed, turning on every light in the house and running to see if my dad was ok.

He always was. Sometimes, he even woke up and I pulled the old nightmare excuse, but more often, he just snored away.

But I couldn't. Once I awoke, I stayed up with the lamp turned on, fumbling around with my homework and jumping at every creak of the trees outside. And in the morning, when I had just about convinced myself it was all a bad dream, I'd get up and find some trace of intrusion – mud on the doorknob, a mess in the kitchen, some new scratch on the kitchen table or the rail. Small things, silly things, and yet they turned my blood cold.

* * *

In short, I was hardly in a good shape. I needed a change, or else the fear would get me completely.

Ironically, it was Angela who helped me reach an important decision.

We were preparing to go for a swim and I was removing the layers of make-up off my face. She suddenly paused and looked at me for a long time. I looked back: "Something wrong, Ang?"

"Nothing." She said "I just noticed this, but you really have an amazing skin."

I blushed, like every time someone made a compliment. Yes, I had inherited good skin and hair from Renee, but unlike my mother, I tended to burn easily in the sun and I always looked a little sickly pale. "Um, yeah… I guess it's a small blessing." I shrugged. Angela kept looking at me, and then sighed.

"You really shouldn't put on so much make-up." She said "You're beautiful without it, you know."

For some reason, she looked sad as she said that. I laughed uneasily:

"You must be the only person in the world who would tell me that. Most would just say that I'm too plain and need every help I can get."

Angela shook her head: "People like Jessica, you mean?" _Well, more like Victoria, although there was a slight resemblance between the two of them_. "They're just jealous of you, Bella. You're kind and warm and real, and beautiful to boot. I… I think you shouldn't try so hard because… I mean… I just think it's a little unfair. You're all that and yet you put so much effort into looking like one of them… it's a slap to the face." She wasn't looking at me, too concerned to twist her bag strap to see my expression "I'm sorry, it just bugs me sometimes. Why do people try to fit in so hard?"

Poor girl. She was so kind and gentle, and yet she always got bumped in the back. Nobody paid attention to her, and yet she didn't make a big deal out of it. Until that day, I had always supposed that she was just unconcerned with things like popularity, and yet it turned out that I had been wrong all this time. She did care, only she didn't show it.

I suddenly felt guilty. I put everything away and went to give her a hug. She hugged me back. We stood there for a while.

"I'm sorry. It's just that… some girls would kill to be you, Bella. Don't throw that away."

I wondered what had made her think that. Guy troubles? Bullying? I couldn't imagine who would want to bully Angela of all people, and suddenly felt a murderous rage. I really wanted to beat the shit out whoever made her feel so lowly of herself. I would have enquired after them too, if she hadn't shrugged me off with a laugh and hurried in the pool.

* * *

My head was heavy with thoughts when I returned home. Angela had forgotten all about our little emotional moment in the locker room by the end of the hour, yet I couldn't stop thinking about it. I walked up to my room and sat down in front of my desk.

There was a small mirror I used daily to get my shit together, but when I looked at my face, unadorned, I almost couldn't recognize myself. Those features, my real features, were as alien as if they were a mask. Had I immersed myself in that role so much? Perhaps. It had been nearly a month since I was in Forks, after all. And a whole week before that I spent getting things shouted in my ear by that psycho. That could really do a number on a person's psyche.

But what had become of me? I was actually wearing girly clothes and heels. I had more skirts than I had ever owned in my lifetime. I was wearing make-up, for goodness' sake, something which had been nothing but a waste of money in the past. Observing my vanity, I noted the tubes, jars and boxes full of things I couldn't even begin to identify. I now got up at six freaking AM to get ready.

And this… all of this… for a guy that didn't even care for my existence.

My reflection was mocking me. It seemed that even dressing me up and putting me in a life-or-death situation wasn't enough to make me attractive to a guy. I never used to care, but I was beginning to find myself getting more and more frustrated with Edward with every day. I was no longer just playing this game for the sake of my family. His silence… his indifference… they hit me on the ego I never thought I possessed. And it hurt more than I could imagine.

_You're an idiot if you think that you'll save yourself by just sitting back and doing what everyone expects you to do, _Bella in the mirror said. _If you want to get out of this, you need to stop being the victim and turn into the predator._

I snorted. Me? A predator? That was ludicrous.

_You're not thinking about yourself alone, here. Renee and Charlie and Phil also depend on you. Not to mention that this vampire psycho can extract her revenge on everyone you know, from your friends to your kindergarten teachers. You need to find a way to get out of this bind. You can't let so many lives depend on some guy that may or may not be simply gay. Victoria said he cons you into marrying him so that he would have sex with you – you could be nothing more than a beard to him. _

Yes, but what could I do? Kill her myself? How could I kill a creature that was stronger and faster and more ruthless than me? I had, once, done an internet search on vampires, but there were so many legends out there it became confused. They were either too general or too specific. I couldn't pinpoint anything.

There was also the problem of Victoria. I didn't know what her plans were if Edward Cullen actually fell in love with me, but her flippant attitude about it made me a little weary that she had the perfect idea of what to do to him to destroy him.

_Of course,_ Bella in the mirror scoffed, _she probably plans to kill you. If all she wants you to do is make him fall in love, than you'd no doubt be his weakness. You have to kill her, before you get killed._

I considered my options. A wooden stake through the heart almost certainly wouldn't work. Holy water also seemed a feeble plan. The Cullen's didn't seem fazed by garlic. Fire? That was a common legend, but it was preferable that a decapitation took place. I tried imagining myself with a heavy axe taking a swing at Victoria's throat. I'd probably end up cutting my own leg off. Besides, if a full-size van wasn't a problem for a vampire, how could I hope that a few inches of sharp steel would do better?

My head swam with the possibilities, but there was something else, a feeling so strong, so overwhelming that it overthrew any other. It was like a breath of fresh air, after those weeks of fear and solitude, to have the hope of change. Oh, it was extravagant, it was downright mad. Taking Victoria down? On my own? It was suicide, and yet I'd never felt so deliriously happy at the prospect.

I made my resolution that night. I would follow through on Victoria's plan, as much as I could, but I would also start some plotting of my own. If I wanted a way out, I needed to make it myself.

I was lucky, actually. The Quileute tribe happened to be living on this land for centuries and had an abundance of monster stories, especially ones for vampires. Only in those stories, they were appropriately named The Cold Ones.

After a few trips to La Push and some careful inquiring on my part, I learned the following: The Cold Ones were creatures of the night, deadly predators that suck the life out of humans. The Quileute had evolved from a race known as the Protectors, who were the Cold Ones' natural enemies and apparently the only living creature alive that could defeat them. They were powerful and strong and came to life when the tribe was under threat from the Cold Ones.

Now, usually such story would have been way too sketchy to be of any help for me, but it got better. Apparently, the Quileute took their legends very seriously, and there was even one about a coven of the Cold Ones striking a pact with the chief of the tribe. Apparently, that coven had particular ideas – they only fed on the blood of animals and didn't harm humans. The chief, being a pacifist, decided to believe them, and struck a deal – the Protectors wouldn't hunt the Cold Ones down if the latter didn't trespass in La Push. Now, that was still very sketchy, but when I happened to mention Carlisle Cullen (he had treated me after my accident), the man I was talking to immediately tensed up and changed the conversation.

I was starting to get a clearer picture of the things. The Cullen's were probably that coven that struck the pact, all those years ago, just as the Quileute were werewolves, and now they were both back. The people in La Push were weary of them, because they couldn't trust those Cold Ones. I wasn't a hundred percent sure – all the people I had talked to were either too old or disabled to give me any clear information, but I was afraid of asking around the kids my age or the adults, worried that my enquiries might arouse suspicion. Like I said – the Quileute take their legends very, _very_ seriously.

But if the Cullen's really adhered to this… alternate feeding style, that would explain why Edward didn't kill me on sight, if my blood appealed to him too much.

I needed more information.

* * *

It was almost six weeks since I had arrived in Forks when Victoria decided to give me a little push.

I was waiting for Charlie to come home, making dinner like I usually did, and reached for a cupboard above my head. Only when I opened it, a long, heavy body fell down and over my head. I had just a split second to see the scales before I screamed my head off and threw it aside, running to the other corner of the kitchen like a crazy person.

The body of the snake didn't move. I didn't want to take any risks, but then I figured it would have already bit me if it were alive, so I came down to look at it.

It was dead, but there was a note pinned to its skin. I picked it up gingerly.

"_Dance coming up. Get him there."_

Luckily, I managed to get rid of the dead rattler before Charlie showed up. Otherwise, there would have been questions.

He was frowning when he came back – there was a distinct pucker between his brows which was a family trait, giving away the Swan's mental dilemmas for generations. I scurried to put the table, as he opened a beer and sat down with a sigh. After a few minutes of silence, I decided to just ask him if everything was alright.

"Just some trouble at La Push." He said. I didn't try to pry too hard. If he wanted to unload, he would do it. Which, thankfully, he did. "It's just that Clearwater is still MIA. Usually they take care of their own problems there, but this time, they needed to include us in the search. We had to question Sue, his wife, and his kids, but they can hardly tell us anything now. He's been gone for nearly two months now. We'll have to pronounce him dead soon." He sighed.

I tried to piece the information together. Sue Clearwater… Billy Black's neighbor. Friendly, nice woman. I liked her. Her husband was missing?

"I'm sorry to hear that…" I began.

"That's not even the worst of it. The Quileute… they have these legends… silly superstitions, but they believe them, especially the younger ones. There's a group of kids there claiming… bottom line is, they were getting rowdy and I had to threaten them with arrest to make them calm down." He rubbed his eyes "It's going to be hectic."

"Oh…" I paused, wondering if this was going to make my trips to La Push harder. I was suddenly very happy I had that can of pepper spray Charlie bought me for Christmas on my key chain. Just then, I noticed the folder he had dropped on the kitchen table. A few pictures were peeking out. "Is that Mr. Clearwater?" I asked. Charlie pulled the picture out and nodded solemnly.

"Yeah, that's him. Can't say I knew him too well…" the rest of the words droned out in a barrage of white noise, as I was suddenly staring at a pair of very familiar eyes.


	9. Setting the Bait

**Setting the Bait**

The night was a nightmare. Whether it was the knowledge that the man who nearly violated me had known Charlie or Victoria's little note keeping me awake, I spent a good amount of time tossing and turning, shaking at every blow of the wind and fighting not to turn the nightlight on.

Around three, I realized that rest was beyond my possibilities, so I gathered myself up and went downstairs, hoping that some TV would distract me. As it turned out, the only thing playing that wasn't some sort of nasty porn was some Star Trek marathon on the sci-fi channel. Being a child of this century, I wasn't particularly impressed with the filming, but then again, they had better screenwriters at that time. I settled on the couch and watched "Star Trek: The Next Generation" as I mulled over the reasons why I was so jumpy lately.

Well… that wasn't too hard to discover. Victoria's silence bothered me. During my involuntary stay with her, I had discovered her to be rather vocal in her displeasure, and I couldn't help but think she was planning something. Obviously, me getting Edward Cullen to the Spring dance was a part of the plan, but not a focal one as she didn't bother coming over to scare me herself. Not that I could see him falling in love with me over this ridiculous dance – with my luck, I could easily land myself in the hospital, humiliated and hurt, and he would just slink off with some guy in the locker room.

Not to mention that these dances were nothing but a poorly masked mating ritual for the high school population. So far, I'd managed to keep my obsession (observation?) of Edward Cullen at a minimum, but if I invited him to the spring dance I would make my preference of him very public. Of course, if he turned me down, the drama wouldn't be so grand because a) he'd already turned every girl in the school now, and b) I didn't want him in the first place. The latter was another reason for me to hurry up with my plan, because if I carried on, I might just become his beard.

Good God… what would my future self see in this guy? How would she fall in love with him, enough to give up her parents, her future, and her freedom? I couldn't see it. Sure, he was cute, but he was too broody to be my type. And I didn't even know what my type was, but he certainly wouldn't fit that category… unless, of course, he displayed any incredible qualities of mind and character… no, wait, even if he were a Nobel Prize winner, he would still be an ass.

But whether I liked it or not, I would have to do it, I told myself and focused sullenly on the TV screen. What I didn't understand was why Victoria was so calm? Why wasn't she on a flying rampage, demanding that I step up my game, when after six whole weeks Edward hadn't as much as breathed in my direction?

As it often happens, my answer came from the unlikeliest place. I focused on the TV just as they played the episode where Q takes Picard to the past, so that he could stop his younger self from getting his heart impaled. That saved him, but the few things he altered in the past turned him not into a resolute captain, but a measly man not willing to make any decisions. What was that… _the choices we make in the past form us into the people we are in the future?_

Even if I was horrible in Physics, I had watched enough time traveling shows to know that one change in the past could affect the future. In fact, that was what Victoria was doing here – she wanted to change the past so that her lover lived and Edward suffered, using me as a convenient foil in her game.

And suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The reason why Victoria wasn't sending bloody fingers or knocking on my window at 3 AM or killing the people I loved, the reason why she was so quiet was that her plan was working so far, and that the proof was that she was still here. After all, if Edward didn't fall in love with me (as far as I could tell), he would never protect me from Victoria's mate and she wouldn't have a reason to go back in the past. Her existence in this present, apparently, depended entirely on Edward's love for me, or at lest, the potential of it. As long as he loved me, he would try to protect me, which meant she would have a reason to go back. And on and on and on and on, until the very end.

But what had she said about paying a great price to come here? And paying a great price to return?

I would worry about that later. At the moment, my thoughts focused on Edward. If he was falling in love with me, perhaps he would also believe me when I told him the truth… Perhaps he could help me get out of this mess; even help me take Victoria out.

_Bad idea_, the other Bella said. _Very bad idea. You shouldn't rely on anyone but yourself. For all you know, he's gay. _

The thought was filed in for future reference. Step by step, I told myself, I would go about this step by step and see where it leads me.

* * *

I drove to school, wearing what could be described as the most carefully planned outfit I had ever worn. I didn't want to look like a nerd, but I didn't need to look like a total ho-bag either, so I settled on a compromise – a denim skirt that went just above my knees and a white blouse with the top two buttons undone. It was demure, yet sexy, showing off enough skin but not allowing any horny boy that was taller than me to peek into my blouse. I confess, my skirt was a little tight and rode up whenever I sat down, but no teacher would ever bend down that low just to see if my panties were showing.

To be frank, I didn't know how I was going to go about this. Edward hadn't talked to me in six weeks, and I had given up on talking to him after three. How would he react when I asked him? Would he be amused by my antics? Or perhaps annoyed with them? I had observed him – in the days after the accident, a lot of girls had braved approaching him, inviting him to various school activities, but he had brushed them all off. Not rudely, mind you, he'd always been a perfect gentleman, but he refused. Would my invitation piss him off? Anger him, because I put him in a position where he had to refuse?

_Well, sucks for him._

At school, Jessica was glaring daggers at me through Spanish and Trig, while Mike somehow appeared in every hallway I passed. It annoyed me, so around lunch, I managed to pull Angela aside and ask her about what the hell was going on. She blushed and sputtered, clearly uncomfortable with sharing those sorts of things, but admitted that she had overheard Jessica complain to Lauren Mallory in the bathrooms. Apparently, Jess had asked Mike to the dance, and he had said something along the lines of "I'll think about it." Which in Forks High lingo roughly translated to "I wanna go to the dance, but I'm expecting a better offer."

"Thanks, Ang." I said "Sorry."

"It's ok." She nodded and we headed for the cafeteria.

I couldn't believe Mike's gall. That dick-weasel obviously knew how Jessica felt for him (if she made it any more obvious, she would have to tattoo it on her forehead), and yet he had the audacity to say something like that to her? I was no fool; I knew whose offer he was expecting, but now it put me in the uncomfortable position and I didn't like it one bit. I was stressed out enough as it was, I didn't need to worry about fending off Mike Newton of all people on top of all.

Although… there was some potential there. If I could string Mike along for long enough to get Edward jealous (while acting under the presumption that he liked me, of course), I actually might have a chance at succeeding.

So I didn't show my irritation at lunch and let him walk me to Biology, nodding and forcing a smile, mentally willing him to ask me when we walked into the room. Edward was sitting on our table, nose stuck in a book, completely oblivious to us. I sat down, and Mike settled his ass on the corner of the table. He'd grown used to it, sure that Edward and I hadn't bonded over the experience, but there was something extremely audacious in his attitude which made me imagine how wonderful it would have been if I could clock him and have him fall off the table. Or, better yet, Edward backhanding him into the wall.

"So, Jess asked me to the dance…" he began.

Finally!

"That's great." I smiled politely. It was my special I-don't-give-a-shit-about-it-asshole smile, which he probably mistook for dismay, because he went on.

"Well… I told her I'd think about it."

"Oh?" I paused for effect, before asking sweetly. "Why would you do that?"

He hesitated, and almost backed out. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. What a pussy! "Well, I was wondering if you wouldn't want to ask me?" he suggested.

I paused, catching some movement with the corner of my eye. Edward's hand had moved to grip the edge of the table. I smirked inwardly, while I stalled, before looking straight up at Mike and saying calmly: "Mike, I think you should tell her yes."

His face fell, but I didn't care. I was on full alert, waiting for Edward to make a move. Which, of course he didn't.

"Oh… you've already asked someone else?" he guessed and sent a look full of loathing at my lab partner, which I ignored.

"That's not it." I said truthfully "In fact, I don't know if I'll be going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" He asked petulantly. I frowned – I was already at the end of my patience, and Mike had no right to treat me like I had some sort of obligation to him. If anyone asked me, I would be the first to admit that he was nothing but a foil in my charade, but that gave him no right to think of me as my property.

"I have things I need to take care of." I said "I might be going to Seattle that weekend."

"Can't you go some other time?" he whined

"I don't know." Now I was downright pissed "You shouldn't keep Jess waiting. It's rude."

He nodded and marched to his seat sullenly. After he was gone, I closed my eyes briefly and prayed that it had worked, before focusing on pulling my books out and arranging my homework. When I finally glanced at Edward's direction, he was looking at me, and he _didn't_ look away. I held his gaze as my heart beat faster, wondering if this would be it. Would he finally speak to me? Would he ask me?

Unfortunately, Banner called the class into order and, of course, asked him a question. He broke my gaze, answered, and then didn't turn around again. The moment was broken.

_Hell!  
_

I was about to mull over my latest huge mistake, when the buzzer went off and the principle's voice filtered in the room: "Mr. Banner, would you mind sending Isabella Swan to the councilor's office, please?"

_What?_

The room went quiet and everyone stared at me, wondering what the Golden Girl had done to warrant that. I was still, like a statue, mouth hanging open in shock. Nobody looked more confused than Banner, who automatically wrote me a pass and sent me off, not even bothering to hide the blatant once-over he gave me when I got up. And for the first time since I'd come to Forks I felt my cheeks and ears heat up. Dratted blush… it gave me away every time.

* * *

I scurried to the councilor's office, barely catching a glimpse of the room as I exited. The last thing I noticed was Edward, staring at me with wide, worried eyes.

I felt dread as I walked down the hallway, wondering about the reasons I was being called down. There weren't many reasons to call a straight A student and none of them was any good. Oh god, what if something had happened to Charlie? What if Victoria had decided to give me a lesson by hurting him? I almost burst into the office, I was that scared, but saw none of my dad's colleagues, or the principle. Just Mr. Colin, the ancient councilor.

"Ah, Bella, do come in." Mr. Colin said "Take a seat."

I did as I was bid. "Is something the matter?" I asked in a shaky voice. "There isn't anything wrong with my dad, is there?" I couldn't help myself.

"Your father?" Mr. Colin looked confused, which was enough to calm me down "Everything is alright, as far as I know. Did you think that was the reason you were called?"

I nodded.

"No, my dear, your father is safe." He said, arranging some papers on his desk neatly "I just wanted to talk to you about something. I hope you weren't too engrossed in Mr. Banner's lesson."

"It's fine." I didn't give three straws about Banner's lesson. Or anyone else's, for that matter.

"Well, you've been with us for almost two months now." Mr. Colin gave me a wide smile "How do you find it here? I hope the students have been accommodating."

"They're all… very eager to be my friends." I said, reminding myself never to lie straight to the face of a councilor. I had tried once and had to endure weeks of sessions with Renee when the one in Phoenix had thought I was depressed over my mom's second marriage.

"You don't find yourself lacking attention. Are your new friends pressuring you into trying to fit into their group?" he asked.

"No. In fact, I often go swimming with Angela." I said, wondering where he was getting at.

He nodded, seemingly pleased with my answer: "Physical activity is a good thing, of course. You do good to exercise your body, and swimming is a fantastic sport. Coach Clapp says you're not very athletic – you made a wise choice, both in sports and with a friend. Angela Webber is a fantastic girl."

"Um… Mr. Colin, not to be rude, but why did you call me down?" I asked

"Oh, yes… we got a report that you had been rather liberal with your choice of clothes today." He said, looking meaningfully at my skirt. "The principle wanted to call you down to his office, but Mr. Varner, your Trigonometry teacher, saw no such thing. As do I."

Were they kidding me? They called me down because my skirt was too short? It was at least two inches above the permitted minimum! Compared to what Jessica and Lauren wore, it was almost spinster-looking.

A report, huh? I had a good idea who had done that.

"Well then…" I said "If that's the case, would you mind letting me go now? I think I should go back to class now." In fact… "Actually, would it be too much trouble if you excused me for the rest of the day? I don't think I feel up to gym right now."

Mr. Colin nodded his agreement and wrote the pass. "Here you go, Bella. Consider it my retirement gift."

"You're retiring?" I asked.

"It's about time." He sighed "Not until the end of the year, but my replacement will come soon so that I can start training them. Just in time for the Spring dance drama, eh?" He winked. I laughed and got out of the room, feeling ridiculously pleased that I was released from the drama.

* * *

I turned the corner and nearly ran into Edward, who was just coming out of the bathroom.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"It's ok." He said.

It took me a little while to realize that he had spoken to me. The surprise caught me off guard, especially when he didn't run away and asked me if I was alright.

"I'm fine." I answered. "Nothing big."

"Oh." He nodded, and for a moment I wondered what he was thinking. "Bella, I'm sorry."

Sorry? Sorry for what? For being a dick? Or for liking dicks? "What ever for?" I asked, too stunned to be snarky. How was I supposed to catch him off guard when he was always the one surprising me?

"For the way I am acting." He said "I realize I am abominably rude to you, but trust me, it's better that we're not friends."

Oh… well, that was disappointing. "That doesn't make a lot of sense." I argued "If being friends is bad, wouldn't it be worse if we start antagonizing each other?"

He shook his head sadly: "I wish it was that simple."

It? What is it? What was he talking about? Was this a vampire or a sphinx? "How can you say that when you haven't even tried?" I pouted "You could be wrong."

His smile was sardonic. "I hear that pretty often. But trust me on that – it's better off if we're not friends." _For you maybe, vampire boy, but some of us actually love some people and don't want them to get hurt. _ "I'm sorry I'm hurting you." He offered "I wish there was anything I could do to make it better."

A-ha!

"Take me to the Spring Dance then." I said, straight to his face. "If making-up is what you want to do, then take me to the dance."

Edward's whole face seemed to light up at my words, his now golden eyes dancing with what I hoped was pleasure. But as soon as the expression came, it was dimmed over by his coldness, and that was like a warning for his next words: "I'm sorry Bella, I won't."

Won't. Not can't, won't. Damn it! I thought I was ready for this, but that simple change of words was like a slap to the face. The little shred of hope I had felt when I had seen his eyes a second ago was gone, crushed cruelly, and why? Because he wouldn't.

I suddenly realized what Shakespeare meant when he said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". I suddenly found my limp body filling up with an unexpected energy, but it wasn't resolution. No, it was different. It was anger. Searing, burning, ripping anger, and god did it feel good! So Emoward wouldn't take me to the dance. Fine by me. Gayward didn't want to fall in love with me? Even better. Dickward wanted to be an ass? Then I'll be a bitch and give it back to him, trice-fold.

My dismay must've shown, because he hurried to say: "It's not because I don't want to…"

"Spare it." I snapped, my voice low and cold "And please forgive me for trying to act like a normal human being to you. I bet everyone's been treating you like a freak for so long you grew to like it."

"Bella…" he began, but I cut him off.

"Don't try to spare my feelings, there are none." I went on "I wanted to be nice to you, but if you insist that I treat you like everyone else, fine, I will. I don't know what I did to you, but if you really hated me that much, perhaps you should've let that van crush me and saved yourself all this regret!"

He turned stone cold. "You think I regret saving you?" He asked, his voice incredulous "That is the stupidest thing I've heard in my entire life. Every life is precious, how would you ever think I'd regret saving one?"

"I don't know anything of your regrets…" I began in a deadly whisper "But believe me, you would have done me, and the whole world, a much bigger favor by just letting things go and not saved me." That was I would have died, robbing Victoria of her trump card. I would never have learned the truth. I would never have lived in fear.

Without waiting for his answer, I turned on my heel and hauled ass out of the school. I was so upset I barely remembered jumping in my truck, getting home, and throwing myself on the bed. I waited for the tears of frustration to come, and was amazed that none came.

I didn't want to cry. Being angry was much better. It felt wonderful, like a liquid fire in my veins.

So Edward wasn't going to act no matter what. Then I had to act on plan B. And fast.

_

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_**A/N - This one goes to Courtney. Love you hon, and hope you get better soon!**

**And to me as well. I won the nano at 53K!  
**


	10. Lima Syndrome

**Huh... finally hearing from Eddie, I see.**

**Once more, kudos to Courtney. Hon, this story wouldn't be the same without you.**

**

* * *

Lima Syndrome**

_Edward Cullen_

I watched her storm off and for the first time in a century, I was speechless. Usually being able to read people's minds armed me with a comeback to anything they said, but Bella wasn't an ordinary human, and I was fucked.

Ever since I had first seen the future swirl before my sister's eyes I had known that there were two options placed before me: leave Forks or be with the girl. The former wasn't as unachievable as it sounded – I could pretend I was sick, or got early acceptance in Dartmouth, or went sailing – and compared to the alternative of turning Bella into a vampire and making her hate me for eternity, it was the perfect solution. Only… I couldn't describe the feeling; I just couldn't tare myself away from her. I kept thinking about how fragile she was and how she constantly tripped and ended up being the object of the disgusting desires of the boys at school.

Those musings often made me incredibly angry, and I found myself torn between wiping all those nasty brats from the face of the Earth and following her like a sick puppy, trying to protect her from every evil.

Alice had predicted that if I stayed, I'd fall in love with her. Even if she had been getting some black spots in her visions lately, she was adamant about that fact. And, even if I denied it, I was well down that road.

I listened obsessively to every thought that was about her, searching for potential threats. I eyed the lunch food, wondering if it was poisoned. I had let myself in Mr. Mason's office a few times to read her papers. I told myself it was just because she was interesting, and I needed the mental exercise which her silent thoughts gave me, but deep down, I realized that I was trying to get into her head for an entirely different reason.

I wanted to know her thoughts. I wanted to know what her reaction would be if I revealed my true nature and asked her to be with me.

I was spoiled, I admit. I often complained that my telepathy was more like a hindrance than a gift, as it forced me to break people's privacy all the time, but I was spoiled by it. I was used to plucking the answers out of everybody's head, getting the perfect comeback for every situation, saying exactly what people wanted to say.

And now, ironically, the only mind I wanted to read, was closed to me.

There were many reasons for me not to want Bella to be turned, reasons of a theological, humanitarian and moral nature, but I knew that one word from her would make those objections inconsequential. Which was why I did my best to stay away from her.

It would have been much easier, of course, if my family wasn't so set on letting me choose my own destiny. It was very childish of me, I knew, but they did not help me do the right thing by letting me follow my heart. Even the most pessimistic of them left me alone, hoping that I wouldn't end up exposing us to the Volturi. Carlisle and Esme were the worst – even though reason told them better, they were insanely happy that I had found someone I had the possibility to fall in love with. It just went to show how long they had been worried about me – of our whole family, I was the only one without a mate and my solitude had stuck out like a sore thumb. They must've been really desperate to have the possibility of a romantic interest excite them to this extent.

Pardon, a strong possibility, as predicted by my sister Alice. Like me, the whole family had been spoiled by her gift – we had relied on her visions for so long that we had come to accept them as a solid truth. Jasper, her mate, had been very uneasy about it at first, having a human around when he was obviously the one with the least control in our family. But her reassurance that this girl, Bella, would become her best friend; had been enough to have his fears melt away almost magically. To think that he'd been one of those resolved to kill her after the van accident… it was as if Bella's place was amongst us to begin with, and that her joining would only be a matter of time.

Rosalie was the loudest voice of my conscious. Emmett was accepting, but Rosalie… oh, Rosalie was adamant in her opinion – that Bella not to join the family. Given her past, it wasn't so hard to justify her reasoning. Rose hadn't wanted to become a vampire in the first place, and missed her human life excessively. She didn't like the fact that Bella would be denied a life just because of my selfish needs, and, in my heart, I agreed with her.

The only problem was that Rosalie's feelings for Bella was that they didn't stem from sympathy for the girl herself, and I had it in my power to contradict every possible argument my sister had, which only brought me closer to the girl.

First of all, Bella as a danger to the family – she had had it in her power to expose us, which, at the beginning had indeed been a threat, but as the incident faded away from the minds of the mortals, so did that fear disappear. But her behavior was abnormal - Bella's choice not to tell the story as she saw it spoke of a greatness of mind and a sort of unyielding loyalty, which, even misplaced, had me in awe of her. That same girl had chosen to leave the sun, which she loved so much, to come to a place she detested, just because it would help her mother's happiness. That same girl accepted being a substitute housekeeper for her bachelor father because the man couldn't be bothered to boil an egg. She was good, through and through.

As for myself, I knew that Rosalie had been deeply offended when, upon our first meeting, I was not as taken with her charms as I ought to have been. Yes, my fancy was the last thing she wanted, but when I had failed to even exhibit it, she had been driven mad with frustration. She supposed there was not a beauty in the world to catch my eye, and the fact that I was now interested in a human as plain and as common as Bella offended her to no end.

The only thing Rosalie didn't take in mind was the fact that I could read her mind, unlike any other man she had ever met. Any impact her beauty had made on me had been nullified immediately by the shallowness of her thoughts, their bitter undertone, and the casual cruelty she embraced so easily. Bella was nothing like that.

And last but not least, Rosalie's envy. Oh, there was nothing but jealousy of the purest kind coloring her thoughts whenever they leaned towards Bella. Rose wanted to be human, have children, grow old and leave a mark upon the world, and it made her green with envy that Bella could have that but it was denied of her. Usually, she fought her bitterness by distancing herself from the humans, but to have me running after one, saving one, falling for one… to her it felt like I was throwing her inadequacies in her face.

Which was plain ridiculous. Unlike what she believed, this universe wasn't Rosalie-centric and I was not obliged to focus my whole life around her.

But no matter what I did, thought or said, Bella was getting closer and closer to me. Every day, she chipped away a little of my resolve, and at the rate she was going, I would soon be left naked and defenseless to her. That dratted school dance was going to be the death of me – when Mike Newton had audaciously asked her if she was going to ask him, as if she was morally obliged to tolerate his petty advances, I had been this close to breaking his skull, just the possibility of her choosing him making me mad with jealousy. I had the perfect knowledge that one day she would say yes to someone, and that it was for the best that it wasn't me, but when faced with the certitude of the fact I was helpless.

And as if that hadn't been enough to rock my resolution to change the future to the foundation, then Bella herself had almost crumpled it to dust.

I was worried when she was called out to the councilor's office, so naturally I took the first opportunity to leave the room and eavesdrop from the men's room. My fear that she was somehow unhappy in Forks had also been unreasonable, but listening to her speak about her own feelings was a treat I could not resist. Even if I was not strong enough to leave, I wanted to make her stay in this rainy place as pleasing to her as possible…

And then…

Then…

Then we'd met. Her mental silence had completely sidetracked me from her very real smell and we had bumped into each other. Un-chaperoned in the hallway, with the humans around us too busy with their own problems, it felt like we had fallen through a portal into a parallel dimension, just for the two of us. How I longed to take her in my arms then and remain in that bubble forever… And then she had stripped me of my resolve completely, ignoring my previous behavior to her by asking me to the Spring Dance.

Me.

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.

The vampire who fought not to kill her everyday, the boy who treated her like a jerk for weeks, the man who wanted her in every way imaginable.

She wanted me!

So I said no. How could I do otherwise? The joy I felt when she first said that was so strong, so overwhelming, I almost jumped headfirst and accepted, which would surely mean doom for her. I suffered even more when I saw her face – disappointment and anger were present, of course, as they ought to, but there was also genuine hurt. Usually, girls shed a few tears in front of their friends when I turned them down, but this… I couldn't even begin to describe it. The pain in her eyes cut my stony chest and tore through my dead heart.

* * *

That was how I ended up breaking the rules.

I had told myself I wouldn't seek her out of school.

I followed her as she went to the supermarket to buy dinner.

I had told myself I wouldn't stalk her.

I ran all the way to the border with the Quileute lands when she made a delivery with her truck, and listened to the minds of the other drivers until I could, keeping a look out for any possible dangers to her. I was sure that if the need arose, I would break the treaty just to help her.

But the proverbial cherry on top of this cluster-fuck was when she left home to go swimming with Angela Webber.

Addicts in withdrawal often beg for little concessions. They convince themselves that giving things up entirely is a bad thing and consider that the graduate lowering of their daily "dose" would work better. They constantly think that they're not strong enough and that a single dose would be enough to get them through everything.

And I reasoned like an addict. I told myself I would just follow her to the entrance to see she made it safe. Then I told myself I wouldn't look through the eyes of the receptionist, or the lifeguard's mind… Or perch myself on a tree to look through the windows myself.

To my dubious credit, I kept out of the minds of the women in the dressing room, but my good deeds were worth squat as I did it for my own benefit alone. Oh, yes, I wanted to respect Bella's privacy, and Angela's for that matter, but I did it mostly because I knew that one glimpse of Bella in any state of undress would send me over the edge.

I prepared to close my eyes when I saw the girls coming out of the dressing room, fully intent on waiting for them to be in the water to resume my observations, when a thought that I had grown to detest filtered through the chatter.

_Oh, man, would you look at that body!_

I narrowed my eyes in the direction of the thought and saw no other than Mike Newton; that detested boy from school, lurking near the windows. Like me, he had taken residence on a tree branch, only he was much closer to the building and the ground, while I was as far as I could be without losing sight of Bella. He was gawking at the window and licking his lips.

My lips drew back to reveal my teeth and I growled lowly. I couldn't even begin to try to block out the disgusting thoughts he had of Bella, especially now that he had a good impression of her body to help his imagination. The girls, instead of going in the water, had begun stretching, and that wasn't helping me at all.

_I knew it was a good idea to listen at the councilor's door,_ Mike's thoughts raced on, _or else I'd have never seen that. Bet she's a dyke, that's why she refused me. She and Angela probably get very close in that shower. Oh, yeah, baby, bend… oh, man, yeah, yeah…._

His thoughts started to become an incoherent jumble as the image of Bella stretching was enough to arouse him. He palmed his erection through his jeans, and then slipped his hand underneath.

I wanted to annihilate him.

As if his thoughts of Bella weren't already borderline criminal… now he was acting like some disgusting pervert. Call me a stalker, but at least I had some respect for the poor girl.

_Kill him_, the monster in me whispered, _crush his skull and dump his body in the river. Or, better yet, lure him deep in the woods and let a bear catch him. He'll squeal like a piglet when he gets torn apart. _

The violence of the image was enough to calm me down and I took a deep breath. No. I'd already decided I would never kill a human again, as undeserving as they were. And Mike Newton could be eliminated easily enough without having to kill him.

Soundlessly, I landed on the ground and picked up a small pebble. I turned it around in my fingers as I chose my angle. Luckily, Mike had perched himself on a relatively old tree, the bark was rotten enough not to raise suspicion. I carefully calculated my strength, before drawing my hand back and slinging the rock. It sliced through the branch and embedded itself in the base of the building. Two seconds later the shaken branch tore off and fell down, taking Mike with him.

I grinned as I heard the sound of the bones in his hand breaking. I was sorely tempted to go nearer and see if there was any more damage I could inflict without him noticing, but there would be no need for it. His scream alerted the security guards in the front of the building, and I could hear them approaching quickly. They'd call the police soon enough.

With one final look at the windows (Bella hadn't drowned yet), I took off in a run.

I was breaking the rules, for a girl… something was definitely wrong with me.

But I couldn't find it in me to be sorry.

_

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A/N - Guys! A review would really be appreciated!_


	11. Confusion

**VERY Important!**

My dear readers, it is with great regret that I announce that after much thought, I have removed three of my stories, "And Innocent Secuction", "Heartbreak, with interest" and "Liar" from the Twilight fandom, and plan on removing another one, "Blackmail is and Ugly Word". Now, before you start throwing the rotten tomatos, I have to make my point: Over the last four years, fanfiction has been an important part of my life and my development as a... well, scribbler. I have discovered many things about writing - some through the process of creating my stories, yes, but also through my interaction with the fans. I've discovered that sometimes quality does not equal quantity (of reviews) and that sometimes, it is more important to write what is on your heart rather than what you think people would accept.

Yes. I truly do believe that. I also believe that if I write long, provocative or just plain confusing fics in the hopes of getting a high review count, I am not only wasting my time, I am wasting yours. So, with that, I take down four of my Twilight stories, because I cannot, in good conscious, finish them, nor do I want to.

**With that out of the way, I'd like to say thanks for my beta, Courtney, who does these chapters, and also to Simaril, whose reviews encouraged me to get this story crackin'. **

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* * *

Confusion**

_Bella Swan_

When I saw my dad's police cruiser parked in front of the pool, my first thought was that something terrible had happened to him. Of course, when I saw him the next minute and I managed to calm down; I took in the rest of the scene – the ambulance and the EMT's that were just helping a person in. And then, immediately, I was worried again. What if Victoria had struck? What if she broke the treaty? Or worse – what if the Quileute had prosecuted her.

My worries evaporated when I didn't smell the blood or saw any horrible disfigurements. Actually, the guy looked fine, if it weren't for the fact that he held his hand in a funny way.

And then I caught a glimpse of the face:

"Hey, isn't that Mike?" Angela voiced my reaction for me.

My dad, who had ran up to greet us, heard the words and turned on a full-cop mode on us. "You know this kid?"

"Um, yeah, that's Mike. Mike Newton." I said "He's in our Biology class at school."

My dad's face got grim. Then, without answering a single of our questions (Why was he there, why was there and ambulance and why the hell did they have to strap Mike to a gurney?), he told us to jump into the cruiser so that he could give us a ride home.

It wasn't until we'd left Angela at her place -and I climbed out front of the car- that he broached the subject in the vaguest of possible manners: "Bells, I know this isn't what you're used to, but I need to be firm on this." I stared at him, silently urging him to continue with whatever the hell he was trying to say "I don't want you talking to this kid."

"What kid?"

"That kid… Mike." He said "I don't want you to associate with him."

"Dad, that's kind of hard. See, we go to the same school, and he's Jessica's sort of boyfriend…" I began, but he cut me off.

"Just trust me on this, Bella." He said "I'm not asking you for much, but please do this. Don't spend more time with him than you have to. Or if you do… do you still have that pepper spray I sent you for Christmas?" when I nodded an affirmative, he seemed content "Carry it with you at all times. If your teachers make a fuss about it, tell them to take up their objections with me."

"Fine with me." I shrugged. I didn't feel like talking to Mike after his little display today anyway, so this only gave me a good excuse to do so. Only thing was that I didn't know what 'this' was. "But what happened to him? Is he in some sort of trouble? Did he get mugged or something?"

"He didn't get mugged." Dad said, and the tips of his ears turned red "He… he… he's no good, Bella, ok? Trust me on this." And he left it at that.

I left it at that as well. Before, I would have poked and prodded until I needled the info right out of my dad, but this time I just didn't feel like worrying over what Mike Newton had done. I had enough on my mind as it was.

* * *

During my trip to La Push, I had been more than a little nervous. Of course, I had chatted with Sue Clearwater before, it was almost impossible not to know someone in one of those small close-knit communities, but I had never felt particularly uneasy around her before. Now, I was terrified.

She had never mentioned her husband to me before. I didn't know why, but it was a small comfort. Not that I was one to lecture on couples dynamics, but I guessed that the disappearance of a spouse would cause a lot of distress. Maybe she didn't love him much. Maybe he was a cruel man, a drunkard. He'd certainly looked capable of horrible things when I had met him.

I didn't chat to Sue, or try to talk to her daughter Leah. I didn't know why, but the tawny girl didn't look like she liked me a lot. Sue was kind to me, almost motherly, but since 'divorce' was a forbidden word to the Quileute, I attributed it to pity. She probably thought I was dysfunctional.

Her son, Seth, was probably the only person who looked accessible in the whole tribe. He was a small boy, too young to run around with the older boys doing… God knows what, and too young to hang out with the children. I had never been a motherly person myself, but whenever I met him I felt the most inexplicable urge to protect him. He looked so positively miserable.

I decided that it was probably because of his father. He probably abused Seth, and his wife and daughter were too scared to say anything about it.

Halfway through these musings, I had to slap myself. What was I doing? Making up stories about some guy I had only met once, drunk and under Victoria's influence. A guy who was now dead. A guy who had left a wife and two children behind. It was disgraceful, and it was useless. Why was I trying to make him into some sort of psychopath? To defend Victoria's actions? Hardly. To make myself feel better? It wasn't my fault he died.

Maybe it was just my way of coping with death. Either way, I needed that swim with Angela. And now this stuff with my dad was ruining my good mood.

* * *

If there was a single good thing that came out of that, I was too absorbed in my own world of misery to care for Edward Cullen's rejection. Humph… as if I wanted to be anyone's beard! Jerk!

I parked as far as possible from the silver Volvo, fully intending to give Edward the cold shower today. Maybe, I thought optimistically, if he never fell in love with me, Victoria would never have come here and I'd be free.

And pigs fly.

I got out of my truck, thinking about all the things that I needed to do today, when I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned, almost hitting Erik Yorkie across the face with my keys.

"Oh, hell!" I gasped "You scared me, Erik."

"Sorry." He didn't look sorry, but whatever. "Walk you to class?"

"Um…" I shrugged, and Erik took my backpack gently. We chatted up about nonsense until we were inside, before he glanced around furtively and asked me:

"Do you know about Mike?"

"Mike?" I blinked "What about Mike?"

Erik gasped and his face turned beet red: "You mean you… your dad didn't…" he flushed even harder "I thought you'd be the first to know. He was caught streaking yesterday by the community pool."

I blinked a few times, unsure if I'd gotten the word right. That boy had more metal in his mouth than a Cannibal Corpse fan. "Streaking?"

"Um, yeah…" he blushed again "Apparently, he went up on a tree branch and it sort of broke while he was…. Err… and security came when they heard him scream. They literally caught him in the act. He broke his hand or something." Erik looked utterly uncomfortable "I thought you knew. I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok." I said. It would help me when I faced Jessica, I decided. After all, I didn't need more drama.

"I… er…" Erik began hesitantly, but, encouraged by my gratitude, he began "I know you were supposed to go to the dance with Mike, but…"

"Excuse me?" I blinked "Who told you _that_?"

Now Erik did look confused. "Um… Mike. After school. I mean… I thought…"

"Christ…" I cursed under my breath "No, Erik." I said "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Oh…" he looked stricken for a moment "Why not?"

"I'm going to Seattle." I said, feeling the lie bubbling up to my lips, stronger than any one I'd ever said "I'm going to tour the University of Seattle that weekend."

Erik blinked, looking slightly out of it: "Isn't it a little early? I mean… you could go to Harvard. Or Dartmouth. Why bother with Seattle?"

I laughed at that. Erik, with his little-town naivety was almost too endearing. Of course, I had entertained thoughts about Harvard and Yale and Dartmouth before, but I had realized soon enough I'd never be brilliant enough for one of those hoity-toity high class schools. No need to tell him that though, I thought: "I know that, but I need to be closer to Charlie. It's much cheaper. And it's best I get started early."

"Oh! Oh yes, of course!" Erik nodded vigorously "School's always most important, they say." and then his face fell. He obviously realized he couldn't defend my case and get what he wanted. In that moment, I felt oddly charitable, and offered a kind smile.

"Sorry about the dance. But hey, you could always ask me to prom. I'm pretty sure nobody else will." Because I'd probably be eating dirt by then. But he didn't need to know that.

The hope that lit Erik's face up was enough to make his day, and for a while, I congratulated myself on a job well done. At least somebody was happy. It was a small comfort.

Because my crazy plan was starting to take form, and now it even had a timeline. The weekend after the next. The school dance. Victoria would no doubt want to execute her plan then, if she insisted I take Edward, and when I didn't, it would be for the best that I took her as far away from town as possible. I planned on driving out to the hut where she had kept me (it couldn't be too far, if Harry Clearwater went there, clearly inebriated), setting the scene up. There, I would somehow distract Victoria enough to immobilize her (that part was still rickety) and then I'd set the shack on fire. If she managed to keep me there for a week, I was pretty sure its owners wouldn't mind it going down.

And if the plan didn't work… oh, well, I'd be dead anyway, it would be better if I went down fighting. Shot down in a blaze of glory, eh, Bon Jovi?

I wouldn't let myself be used. Not by Victoria, not by anyone. My pride was the only thing I had left. I only hoped I could make it in time.

* * *

I tore myself away from thoughts of death and destruction and drowned in the boring reality of school life. Now that I had given up completely on Edward, I didn't feel a need to flirt and look interested in whatever the dumb jocks wanted to say. Jessica's heartbreak over Mike's little act did not touch me, nor did Lauren's gleefulness annoy me. I simply couldn't feel it anymore. Maybe I had gone numb.

Angela was the only person I was glad to see, and she looked equally glad to see me as well. I actually felt sad, thinking that we couldn't be friends. It would have made my life here so much easier, to have a friend, but what good would it do if I ended up hurting them? I suddenly felt compelled to do something nice for her, anything that would lessen my guilt when I… I didn't want to think about it.

I felt grim as I walked into the cafeteria, and just bought a bottle of lemonade. I couldn't stomach anything else. Somehow, putting a time to my suicide plan hadn't done wonders for my appetite.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you again." Jessica giggled in my ear. When I didn't deign to acknowledge her statement, she repeated it, and added. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today."

"Probably his siblings didn't want him messing up their together time." I didn't mean to sound so bitter, but the last thing I wanted at the moment was Edward Cullen. Jessica stared at me, probably trying to deduce the reason why I was suddenly so hostile towards the boy, but then her eyes widened and she gasped.

"Oh, my…."

"Excuse me," a clear musical voice said right from behind me. I turned halfway and looked up at Edward's eyes. "I'm going to have to steal Bella away from you today. Biology homework." His crooked smile was aimed directly at Jessica, which nearly sent the girl sprawling across the floor. She nodded weakly and before I knew it, I was following Edward to the table where his tray lay, dazzled, I guess, like the rest of them. However, I shook the stupor off and glared at him.

"What's this about?" I asked when I sat down. I was too angry to be civil, but smart enough not to make a scene. "I don't remember Banner giving us any homework."

"I'm just returning the favor," Edward said with a tight, impatient smile as he spread out his Biology papers.

I took a swig of the lemonade, calculating. I could get up and humiliate him… or I could stay and fuck with him. Both seemed appropriate at the moment, but I decided to go with the latter, too curious to hear what he wanted to say. I played with the charade, setting the prompts, before sitting on the edge of my chair and leaning in. He mimicked my movements and we looked just like a couple of teenagers doing their homework. Pity that sort of banter didn't suit this sort of situation.

"What favor?" I asked casually, eyeing him from under my lashes.

"You didn't tell the whole school what you think you saw, after the accident with Tyler's van," He said in the same tone. "I'm not saying that it's the truth, but it saved me a lot of inconvenience."

"Really? And, pray, what kind of inconvenience are you sparing me now?" I mocked.

He looked at me straight in the eye, and for a moment I felt a little uneasy. They made me feel like I was under an X-ray, as if they stripped me naked. Not the sexy sort of naked, mind you, but the uncomfortable "I-know-your-every-secret-because-I'm-stalking-you" kind of naked. Edward held my gaze for less than thirty seconds, but I felt like I was being under fire. My heart beat faster and I felt a familiar heat crawl up my chest.

"From sitting with people you hate," he said simply.

"I don't hate them," I denied immediately, and it was true… partially. I liked Angela.

"With one notable exception," he corrected himself. His smile was mocking. I frowned. _Laugh it up, gay boy._

"Well, thank you for that daring rescue, Sir Galahad, but it's a little too late for that." I gathered my books, annoyed that he tricked me so easily "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go sit with my friends." And maybe tell them you're a creepy douche.

But before I knew it a long, pale hand had reached out over the table and grabbed my wrist. I gasped – it was ice cold, and it held me down. Firmly, yes, but not hard enough to hurt. Not like the merciless clasps of the debtor's chair. Not like Victoria's iron hold. I felt a rush of… something, maybe static electricity, tickle my arm, before it was gone, leaving behind a pleasant warmth. It was oddly comforting, stable. I shuddered.

He felt it and let me go as if I had just burned him. But his eyes were imploring. "Please stay. Surely your friends can spare you for one hour."

Of course they could, but I wasn't willing to. Still… I sat down again, reluctantly. I didn't want the bastard thinking that he had some control over me, but… well, maybe just this once. And if Victoria saw us… well, all the better.

"So what is it?" I asked "Surely you could've "saved" me ages ago? Is there something you wanna say to me?"

"Actually, it's more like a question," He said "It's about the Spring dance."

I tensed, wondering if he'd changed his mind. And then slapped myself for feeling to hopeful. "Yes?"

"I heard you were going to Seattle that day," he said "I was wondering if you wanted a ride over."

I blinked. "A ride?"

"Yes."

"To Seattle?"

"Yes."

"Why?" the question was stupid, since I wasn't going to Seattle to begin with, but I guess that _noblesse oblige_ and all that. Or maybe it was politeness obliged? Whatever.

"Well, I couldn't help but overhear…" how? "That you were going to tour the University of Seattle, and I was wondering if your truck could make it with one tank of gas."

"My truck is just fine," I said, feeling my old annoyance come back with a vengeance. "And I don't really see like this is any of your business."

"The waste of finite resources is everybody's business." I snorted. "What?"

"You, saying stuff like finite resources. You're driving a Volvo. I think your carbon footprint can rival the Abominable Snowman's."

He grinned at that. "If that is true, then yours would happen to be the size of the Atlantic Ocean, Bella. Surely, you can see that yourself."

I started to laugh, and then stopped, mortified. The banter was nice, almost friendly. I could get lost in it, even enjoy it. But getting closer to this guy… this wasn't happening. This was the guy who spent six weeks ignoring me, the same guy who threatened me that I'll never be able to find out that truth. The same guy who'd turned me down… after all I wanted was to be nice… well, at least that's as much as he knew. Even with Victoria breathing down my neck, I couldn't possibly allow him to blindside me so quickly.

"Are you suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder?" I asked in a flat voice "Because your mood swings are starting to give me a whiplash."

Edward smiled, as if I had made a jolly good joke. Then he seemed to realize that I wasn't kidding. "Bella, I'm just trying to be nice to you."

"You saved my life," I said "And then you acted as if you regretted doing it. You spent six weeks acting like you hated me, and I'm pretty inclined to believe that you do. So don't use my own words against me, Edward. You've no right to say you want to be nice to me after all you did."

His face sobered, completely devoid of humor. But it wasn't the Edward from the last few weeks looking back at me. No, this wasn't the cold aloof man I had come to know. He looked more like a little boy who had just broken his mother's favorite vase – sad, incomprehensive, and almost too eager to make things right.

In other words, he was giving me the puppy dog look, and I found it rather… disarming.

"I meant what I said back then," he began "It would be in your best interest to erase the accident from your memory and never mention it again. In fact, hating me would only do you good. We shouldn't be friends, Bella. It's not… I can't be a good friend to you. But I can't stay away from you anymore."

Edward fell silent, and watched me. What did he want? Was I supposed to reply? How could I come up with a retort for something like that?

His little speech had angered me, of course, just like yesterday. But this was worse than his rejection – it was _logic_. He told me all the good reasons why we needed to stay apart, why I needed to hate him (not that I needed more incentive for that) and why the accident had to be buried. They were good reasons – all of them made me want to run away screaming. But now that I had Victoria forcing my hand, I didn't have much choice on the matter now, did I?

And, if that wasn't enough, he had the audacity to tell me that he couldn't stay away from me anymore. As if I was sooo irresistible! As if I was a freaking super model! As fucking if!

"Well, that's very convenient," I said "'I love you against my better judgment', isn't it? It's a nice line, Edward, but I'm not such a twat as to fall for it."

He stared, probably taken aback by my use of the word "twat".

I got up on my feet and grabbed my papers again. "You should find someone else to fuck around with. I'm going to class."

Edward didn't grab my hand this time. Instead, he laid his hands over my biology books firmly and glared at me. "Sit down, Isabella." _What the hell?_

"Holding my things hostage…" I drawled. "How very kindergarten of you, Edward."

"If you have any idea what is right for you, you will sit down right this minute."

I felt the smirk creeping up on my lips. Right for me, huh? I was well past the point of thinking what was right for me. I wanted to be reckless, wild, to let something happen instead of all this suspense. If this whole thing was a rubber band, it was now pulled until nearly its limit. I wanted to snap it. And yet, a small, tiny voice in the back of my head implored me to just shut the fuck up and see what he would do.

I sat again and said, coolly, "So, let's suppose I don't care what is right for me? Then what?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, even when his eyes, his face, his freaking body, said 'everything'. "But it would explain why you're going to the prom with Erik Yorkie."

I frowned. "So boys do gossip in the bathrooms. I'm not surprised."

"Why are you going with him?" he asked, and the look on his face was freaking… indescribable. I couldn't find a word for it. Jealousy? How could Edward Cullen be jealous? The emotion on his face was so raw it hurt. He looked as if he was being eaten alive inside out. "After you invited me to the dance, you practically agreed on going with him."

"So what?" I asked, suddenly feeling hope well up in my chest. If he was jealous, then falling in love with me wasn't such a problem after all. Maybe, just maybe, there would be a way out of this. Maybe, if he trusted me enough with his secret, I could trust him with mine. He wasn't a monster like Victoria. I knew he wasn't. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't so bad after all.

"So what?" he repeated, flabbergast "I cannot believe you are willing to do that!"

"Why? Why do you have such a problem with me going to prom with Erik? You obviously don't care for me, so why shouldn't I agree to go with someone else?"

Something shifted in his eyes, and then his poker face was on, the perfect mask of composure. He'd closed up. And he'd left me out, once again. My breath caught in my throat as I realized what was coming.

"I'm just looking out for you," he said "It's not right, what you're doing."

Son-of-a… Coward! Freaking fucking coward! I was never much of a violent person, but I seriously wanted to do something to this guy. Kick him, stab him, hurt him. Call him every sort of insult ever created. I only knew those in English and Spanish, but they seemed enough.

My hope withered and died as I filled up with another emotion – cold, dead fury.

"Oh, really? So that's what you call it," I said, my voice calm. Too calm. It was the voice that preceded tears. It was only moments away, but I couldn't get up and storm away. Not before I gave him a good jab. "It looks to me like you have the mental maturity of a toddler."

His eyes widened and he recoiled, giving me the opportunity to grab my books and stuff them in my bag. I didn't. I wasn't done.

"You think I'm your toy, right? Even if you don't want me, you can't stand the idea of someone playing with what's yours, is that it? And you're mad at me for just doing what is natural." My voice was low now, agitated, and angry. Perfect. "Of course, why should I even try it? High School must be hell for everybody. God save me from doing anything that would relieve me from being bullied by the neighborhood jerk. I should be hung for the unforgivable crime of wanting to go to prom and just have fun with a nice guy!"

"That's not what I…" he began, but then the bell rang and cut him off. I gathered my things and got up.

My back was ramrod straight as I marched off into biology. I caught sight of Jessica's confused expression as I came in, and she made a move to come and sit with me and ask me what the hell had just happened. I shook my head at her, telling her to lay off for now. To her credit, she looked genuinely worried. I must've looked like a nutcase.

Oh, how I wanted to cry.

* * *

A/N - Reviews are very welcome. Or rotten tomatos, whatever works - starving students need what they can get. (Kidding. I'm not starving.)


	12. Blood Type

**Blood Type**

_Bella Swan_

My eyes and my head hurt like hell. I wanted to bolt for the door, leave the room and be alone. But I couldn't. Running would be a show of weakness, and I wasn't giving Edward the satisfaction.

As if he had sensed my resolution somehow, he didn't show up. I was glad of it. My lips quirked with pleasure as Mr. Banner made his way into the classroom, and I allowed myself a moment of peace. And then Banner got the needles out.

The room swam and I realized what was going to happen. Blood typing. Oh, no… no, no, no…

Banner grabbed Tyler's hand and picked his finger with a needle, as he explained the procedure. Thank fuck I hadn't had lunch, or else I would have lost it already. I was already too sensitive about blood, but now… now I was almost ready to throw up.

He made his way forward, and he must've noticed the expression on my face, because he asked me what was wrong.

"Mr. Banner, I already know my blood type." I said, weakly. Between Victoria's silent torture, my own worries and the roller-coaster ride that was talking to Edward, this blood typing was just about the straw that was going to be break the camel's back. I briefly heard the teacher saying in a slightly panicked voice that Tyler would help me to the nurse's office, and I closed my eyes briefly, trying to ignore the smell of blood as the boy helped me up.

The walk out of the room felt like an eternity. Tyler, for all of his football jock glory, could barely carry me, and I didn't have the strength to help him with it. I had focused on taking the smallest, shallowest of breaths, to block out the smell of blood.

Once we were outside and the cold air blew in my face, I managed to calm down, but only slightly. My legs started to move slowly, and I took a welcome gulp of fresh air.

"Can we stop?" I asked in a low voice "I think… I think I just need some fresh air."

"Are you sure?" Tyler asked as he helped me sit down on a relatively dry place of the stairs. "You look green." He looked a little moldy himself, but I didn't comment on that. Too much effort. I didn't have enough energy for it.

"I'm sure. Just gimme some time for my stomach to stop turning." I said, grinning in my head at his expression. However, he seemed to get over it quickly enough, because his next words were:

"Well, since we're caught in here anyway, I've been meaning to ask you something."

I looked up at him, confused, before comprehension dawned on me. Oh no. Oh, God, please no!

"Will you ask me to the Spring Dance?"

Son-of-a…

"This is really not the time to ask this, Tyler, but for your information, I'm going to Seattle that day." I said.

"Yeah, Mike mentioned you might be going."

"So why…?"

"I just thought you were trying to let him down easy."

I rolled my eyes, exasperated. Typical boy behavior. They were so assured of their own success that you just wanted to bring them down, just to spite them. Tyler was a nice enough guy – a bit over-the top and annoying after the accident, but he kept his distance most of the time. I could even like him as a friend. But when he was pushing himself in my face like that… I found it terribly unpleasant. Discomforting.

Downright creepy, if I had to be honest.

"No, Tyler. I really am going to Seattle."

"Oh, well, no sweat." He grinned, unmoved "We still have prom."

What in the seven Hells? So boys really don't gossip in the bathrooms, otherwise Tyler would've heard Erik's bragging.

But even if I hadn't given Erik that opening, so freaking what? Did that automatically mean I would go with Tyler? Or anyone, for that matter? My mind fluttered to Edward, briefly, before I ignored it. I wasn't feeling like crying right now.

But Tyler? Tyler, of all people? Why? Did he think of this as some weird way of making things up for me? Or not? Since when is nearly crushing someone to death considered as a show of affection?

That's. Fucking. IT! I wasn't going to let this doofus get away with this, not like that. If there was ever a course in "Showing girls you like them by treating them like shit", I bet Tyler would've aced it. Hell, I be Edward could've taught a lecture.

Stupid men! Who the hell needed them?

"No, Tyler." I said.

"What?" he blinked, taken aback.

"I said, no. As in no, we don't have prom." I said firmly, my eyes staring into his defiantly.

He still wasn't getting it. "Why not? Are you going with someone else? Or… are you going to Seattle again?"

"I don't know." I said "Nobody's asked me, and I don't know if there will be anything in Seattle that weekend. But I am most definitely not going to prom with you."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to."

Tyler frowned, before laughing: "Nice one, Bella."

I narrowed my eyes. "You think I'm joking?"

"Why wouldn't you want to go to prom?" he asked, incredulous. He couldn't believe I would want to miss this occasion. With the drinking, the dancing, the motel room, and the sex. No thanks. "And I'm asking you."

Of course, how simplistic. To him, all it took was an invitation.

"Well, I don't appreciate those extracurricular activities." I said "And I certainly don't like it when people just assume something, without asking me."

It was true. I hated surprises. I hated it when someone cowardly went and did something I hated behind my back and then expected thanks for it. Renee, Tyler, Edward, even Charlie, they always did things without my consent. And Victoria… oh, Victoria, hiding somewhere in the woods, watching my every move… I suddenly wanted to run.

I got up to my feet. My stomach turned, but I ignored it and walked down the hallway to the nurse's office. Tyler was hot on my heels.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute…" he was saying as he reached over and grabbed my hand. It was warm, big and meaty. Not as strong as Edward or Victoria, but it yanked me back pretty well. Maybe I would have fallen, but I somehow found my balance. Lately, I'd been tripping less, probably my body was preparing for the match with Victoria by getting stronger without me knowing it.

I ripped my hand out of his. "Don't touch me."

"Well, don't run. I deserve an explanation, Bella." He said, looking angry. "What the fuck did you just mean? Don't you like me?"

"You're a nice guy. I just don't feel like going to prom with you." I explained.

"What the hell does that mean?"

I was getting tired of this. "I think even you can understand such a simple statement."

"Funny." He said "C'mon, Bella. You don't want Mike or me or even Cullen. What's the matter? Are you a dyke?"

I started to laugh, and then glared at him, murderously. What the hell was wrong with these people? Just because I wouldn't go out with anyone in this ridiculous school doesn't mean I'm a lesbian. What choices do I have? Mike's a creepy douche, Tyler's a mean jerk, Edward's gay… Erik is probably the least intimidating of them all, but he had a little too much of Edward Jackson Hamner _Jr_. in him. With this fine bouquet of eligible men, I might just start swinging the other way, not that if it was any of his business.

"Yeah. You caught me." I said "I'm a lesbian. I kiss girls and I like it. Anything else?"

Tyler stood there, looking at me, before he broke into a grin. "No problem with me. Can I watch?"

I punched his shoulder, and saw with satisfaction that he flinched. "You really picked the worst of times to be funny, Tyler."

"Ok, ok. I got it. Can I ask you when you're not in your period again?" he joked "By the way, why not wear a mood ring or something, so that people would know."

I really wanted to beat the shit out of him for that, but I didn't feel like wasting any more energy. "Don't be such a dick, Tyler."

"Can't help it. I'm irresistible." He said, waving his hand around. The smell of blood hit me again and I staggered. He grabbed me by the elbow quickly enough, but just about as I was going to tell him to stop horsing around, I heard someone call my name from across the parking lot.

Edward Cullen was jogging up to us, his face twisted in a mask of fury. O…oh…

Just what I needed now. Another dumb boy to pry off. Did I need to carry a stick to beat them off now?

"What's going on here?" he said as he got closer.

"Nothing." I pried Tyler off me – he was holding my hand a little too tight for my liking again. "I'm going to the nurse's office."

"She got faint in Biology." Tyler explained, looking sour "I don't know why, she didn't even prick her finger."

Edward was now next to us, staring at my face. I stared back. I knew my skin looked green, but that was just about it. I wouldn't throw up. Not in front of him, at least.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine." I said "But I'll go to the nurse anyway. Maybe weed out a leaf of absence from gym."

"I'll come with you." Edward offered immediately, and I wrinkled my nose. That was hardly going to make things easier.

"No." Tyler cut in "I'm supposed to do it."

"You should go back in class." Edward said.

"And you should keep ditching class."

"Guys…" I began. This conversation was getting ridiculous. If it were a play, it would go on somehow like this:

EDWARD: "This is none of your concern."

TYLER: "The hell it isn't. She nearly passed out in there. I have to make sure she makes it safe."

EDWARD: "Trust me, she will be."

BELLA: "Guys…"

TYLER: "And what will I do when Banner asks me?"

EDWARD: "Tell him the truth? Or is that too hard?"

TYLER: "Oh, so the brilliant Cullen doesn't fear detention? That's a first."

EDWARD: "At least I'm perceptive enough to see when a lady needs to be left alone."

BELLA: "GUYS!"

TYLER: "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

EDWARD: "It means that she's obviously uncomfortable in your company and that you should let her be."

At this point, my head was starting to ring and I felt like exploding. Tension building up. A little more and the two of them would launch into a fight, only I knew that if Edward put an effort to it, he would have smashed Tyler's face in just as easily as he had smashed his van. So I broke instead:

"SHUT UP!" I hollered, and prayed that nobody would come out to look for us "Neither of you is going to take me to the office, and here's why. You…" I pointed at Tyler "…are going back in class and telling Banner I'm fine. And no more talks of prom, and no attempts at running me over either, understand?" Tyler, taken aback by this unexpected attack, nodded. Edward grinned, which, in this case, was the wrong thing to do. "And as for you…" I said, looking at him "…you'll march back into your car and ditch class like you were going to. And while you're at it, you might wanna take whatever medication you forgot to take these last two days, because I've had enough."

With that, I whirled around and marched straight into the office, not bothering to turn around and look at them.

Mrs. Cope looked up, startled. "Bella? Are you alright?"

"I got sick in Biology." I said. "I think I need to go home."

"Sit down." She ordered me, before running to get the nurse. She came back in a minute with Mrs. Hammond, who got me an ice pack and ordered me to calm down. I sat there, hyperventilating for about fifteen minutes or so, not bothering to look and see if Edward and Tyler had followed my orders. Mrs. Cope let me be, but when she called me, it wasn't to send me home.

"I'll send a note to Coach Clapp for your last period, dear, but would you mind seeing the councilor?" She asked, her face worried "You just look so agitated…"

"Yes, yes, I'll do it." I said, not wanting more fuss.

I walked brusquely to the councilor's office, glad that I didn't find Edward or Tyler waiting for me. As I passed the lot, I noticed that the silver Volvo was gone. Good riddance.

I knocked on the councilor's door, but when I went in, it wasn't an elderly man that greeted me.

It was Victoria.

* * *

A/N - Once more, kudos to Courtney. I swear I'll write this story as soon as I finish the nano novel, hon.


	13. Complications

**Complications**

_Bella Swan_

I felt the air leave my lungs in a quick whoosh and I staggered. Panic started to overcome me.

"Isabella." She smiled "How nice of you to come. Do sit down."

Too terrified to move, I did as she asked. She shuffled some papers on the desk, not paying me the slightest bit of attention, as if this was her job or something. My brain started to catch up with my body – new councilor, in training. Was that her? How had she pulled it off? And how in the world had she managed to get so close without the Cullen's noticing her.

She was dressed in a smart beige suit, and her unruly hair was smoothed and pulled back into a bun. Her eyes were hidden behind a pair of computer glasses.

"My name is Victoria Darling, and I'll be your new school councilor for the next academic year. Pleased to meet you." She flashed me a brilliant, toothy smile

"Hi." I squeaked out.

"Mrs. Cope called me to tell me you were agitated today. Are you having some problems in class?" she asked, as she pushed a piece of paper at me. Silently, I stared at it.

_Play along_, it said.

"Um, just blood typing in Biology." I said "It… ah… the smell makes me sick."

"Is that so?" she asked, with a smile, as she wrote another note.

_How ironic._

Yes, I could see her point there. But I was still tense. I felt heavy with fear. Good God… if that was my reaction to her, I'd never make it. "So…" I babbled like an idiot "That's it. Nothing serious. I'm just a little sick today, is all…."

"Are you sure that's really all?" Victoria asked "You moved in here a couple of months ago. Having trouble accommodating here? Are your friends good to you? Any boy troubles?" she was looking at me testily, as if she didn't know.

"Boys are confusing." I said, and then, as if a flood gate had been opened, I babbled "I don't understand them. They're so… presumptuous. They think they know what's best for you, and they insult you by assuming you have low standards. And… and some of them, some of them are just plain weird. You're nice to them, and they act like asses. You're mean to them, and they're suddenly chasing you around. It's… it's…" I paused "Disconcerting."

"Really?" Victoria smiled, as she slid me another note. "Don't worry, Isabella. Things will get better. Boys this age are strange, but they're just as insecure as you are."

_I'm not going to punish you yet_, said the note, _you're doing better than expected._

"Really?" I asked, on both accounts.

"Yes." She slid me another note, which was folded up and had a "Read it later" sign on top of it. "Now, off you go. You should rest."

I nodded and skidded out of the office, feeling my heart beating a thousand miles per hour.

* * *

The drive home was a dream. I kept mulling over the events of this day, and my hands shook slightly when I thought of it, again and again. Erik. Edward. Tyler. Edward. Victoria.

Fucking Edward.

As I drove, I kept thinking. Victoria's last note was burning a hole in my pocket, but I didn't open it just yet. I didn't know if she was watching me. If she was the only one watching me. Somehow, during this whole debacle, my brain had been saving facts up in the back of my mind and now they came streaming at me, making me think.

Mike had had an accident. Edward knew I had allowed Erik to ask me to prom. Tyler hadn't. Edward had been vehement about me not going to the prom with Erik.

Those were disconnected facts, but when I sat down and thought of them, there was an interesting picture that came up.

If Tyler didn't know about Erik and me, then Erik hadn't told anyone. Which meant that Edward had been eavesdropping somehow. Did that mean he was listening to me all the time? Did that mean he was stalking me? _Well, get in line_, I thought sourly, _but at least that would explain why Victoria is so happy… and so careful._ If Edward was stalking me, did this mean that Mike's accident wasn't such an accident? Not that I'd care, Mike was a creep, but it would put Edward's jealousy in a whole different light.

He didn't want Mike anywhere near me. And now he didn't like the advantage I had given Erik. Of course, that was supposed to be good, it meant the guy was falling for me, but I didn't feel comforted. In fact, it was outright scary. I wondered if I hadn't put Erik into too much danger.

I pulled up in front of my house and walked into the bathroom. If Edward had a way of eavesdropping, he certainly wouldn't be able to look in there, I thought, and unfolded the note:

_Destroy this when you're done reading._

_I applaud you, little Isabella, for having done such a great job without my guidance. Edward is besotted with you and it is only a matter of time before we get to the next stage of the plan. _

_As your school councilor, I'll be keeping an eye on you during that time, so be very careful. I have already presented myself to the Cullen's as one of their lifestyle, and they've accepted me on their ground, but only for now. Do not slip up, or else that little boy you promised yourself for prom will suffer the consequences._

Erik! Oh, no…

_Keep up the good work. The Cullen's won't be at school until Wednesday, but there'll be plenty of time for you to get ready until then. You need to make Edward want you more than life itself. And don't be disconcerted about the dance – you'll need a dress. _

I stared at the note for a long, long time. It was over. My plans were ruined. I couldn't do anything with her so close to me. And the Cullen's… the Cullen's knew about her. She must've blindsided them somehow, bamboozled them into believing her. I was done for. There was nowhere I could turn for help. And then I felt the tears come – strong and powerful and overwhelming. I tore the paper up until it was nothing but confetti-size pieces left and then flushed it down the toilet. Then I walked up, all the way up to my room, collapsed on the bed and cried until my whole body hurt.

* * *

_Edward Cullen  
_

I watched her from my position on the tree near her house, and every sob tore into my dead heart with a vengeance. It was horrible.

I wanted to run, but there was still a lot of time before Emmett and I had to leave for hunting, and going back home wasn't an option. Right now, Rosalie was too pissed to be around me, Alice was trying to take Jasper's mind off his worries, and Carlisle and Esme were too busy with their new friend to tolerate my foul mood.

Well, that wasn't entirely correct. The new vampire that had come to join us, Victoria, who was the new school councilor, was a fair exception in our kind. She sent a note of warning of her coming, and when she arrived, she was a complete lady. After the initial introductions, she told us that she was a little like Carlisle – the circumstances of her making and her own nature had contributed to her choosing a different lifestyle than the rest of our kind.

"I was made by a complete savage." She had told us "He dragged me along for a while, making me partake in his… pleasures. For a while, I accepted them, but he had a penchant for hurting women, and that was when I decided to pull out. I couldn't feed from humans, so I turned to animals. And after some time, I was able to go to college again."

Her control wasn't as strong as Carlisle's or even Jasper's, but she was remarkably strong around the humans at school. She managed to go past the first day and even saw Bella, whose blood smelled sweeter than anyone else's, without much trouble.

I knew because I was listening.

Victoria's thoughts were careful, closed off. She told us it was a quirk of nature – she shielded herself from everything, from all sorts of vampire gifts, and I was slightly thankful. Any person whose mind wasn't a bother was a welcome relief to me. Alice was a little upset she couldn't see her future, but since Victoria seemed friendly enough, and consistent in her animal diet, she accepted her. Jasper was weary, but he usually was.

When Carlisle asked her, about why she had come to Forks, she explained that it was where her postgraduate program had sent her to get some experience. Also, she had learned from a passing coven about our family and had been intrigued by our lifestyle.

"Out of every place I could have gone to, this seemed like the best choice." She said "Of course, after some time, I'll just have to leave, but you look like you wouldn't mind it if I trespassed on your hunting grounds."

"Not a coven, Victoria. It's family." Rosalie said, looking pleased that another female vampire had joined us. She seemed more accepting of her than of Bella, for some reason or another, yet I still thought I had found my mate.

And she was now thrashing around on her bed, choking on her tears, probably because I was too callous with her.

I had to admit – I was a man. Women's tears caught me off guard. I was angry with her for being so infuriating, and I wanted to comfort her because I knew I had hurt her.

But it wasn't her fault that she was infuriating. She was doing what was right, what was logical. I had turned her down and she didn't want to wallow. So why did it disturb me so much? Why did I feel such a deep satisfaction when she turned Mike down, or when she told Tyler off? Why did I feel like I was sent to Hell when she dismissed me today, and why did I want to take Erik Yorkie's head off for being the least threatening choice she could make?

It was all irrational. And the only explanation for it all was even worse.

I was falling in love with this girl, and there was no way for me to stop it.

Worse, during our little match at lunch today, when I had grabbed her hand, I had had the most ridiculous urge. I wanted to get on the other side of the table, pick her up and run into the forest where I would proceed to strip her, kiss her everywhere and then fuck her senseless.

The fantasy, with its sensual crudity, had both excited and frightened me. And while, for once, it didn't involve her death, it had definitely shaken me to the core. Was I really contemplating this? Taking this girl against her will and making her like it? I wasn't thinking of rape – that would have been monstrous, even for me - but rather, I wanted to tease her, to torture her gently until she begged for it. Begged… yes, begging seemed right to me. At least then she'd put that smart mouth of hers to good use…

Revolting. Fascinating. Bella hadn't just brought out the humanity in me. She'd also dragged out the man, the one who stood buried deep for nearly eight decades. Blindsided by my thirst for her blood, for blood in general, I had forgotten that there was more than one way to want a woman, and my affection for Bella was growing out of the realms of the platonic very fast. I wanted her body, and that want was making me think of things I had never contemplated before.

Dratted woman. It was horrible, but listening to her crying like that soothed my pride, if only a little. For I was as jealous as Rosalie was of her humanity in that moment. What joy it would have been, to have this petty problem be the only thing bothering you. She knew nothing of how hard it was, wanting her with nearly a century worth of longing.

"Damn men…" she choked out when the tears subsided "Damn them all…"

I was wretched.

_I'm sorry, Bella_, I wanted to say. _I'm so sorry, darling. I never meant to wound you thus. But it's for the best. It is always for the best._

I wanted to change that. God, how I wanted to change that. I would have given everything, anything to be just a normal boy, a normal boy with a normal life. I wanted to be able to be with Bella, to feel her warmth and give her some of mine. I wanted like Pinocchio wanted to be a real boy.

The melancholy thoughts still swirled in my head as I ran to Seattle and back, enjoying the rush of speed and the clarity it gave me.

I wanted Bella.

If I acted on the urge, I was very likely to kill her.

If I didn't act, I was very likely to kill anyone who came close to her.

It was a painful dilemma. And for once, I couldn't ask for Alice's help, because she wanted Bella to become one of us. As if I could ever be so selfish.

My wanderings finally took me to the premise of the house. My family was home, but there was another scent lingering in the air, showing that Victoria had visited us today. They were talking.

"…and she's a nice enough girl. What do you think, Carlisle?"

"Don't you think it's too early, Rosalie? We only met her just yesterday, and she seems content with her lifestyle as a loner." Their words confused me. Were they talking about Victoria? Too early for what?

Carlisle's thoughts traveled back to the day we'd first heard of Victoria. She had been amiable, polite, but detached in her note, and then in person. To him, she appeared to be a lost soul, making her own place in the world on her own. She had been polite, but she hadn't attempted to get closer to the family. She hadn't even asked to stay with them, assuring them that her own place in town was just as nice.

"But she's following our lifestyle and she seems like a decent woman."

"Rosalie, if she doesn't want to join us, it is not up to you to force her." Esme said.

"But what if she chooses to join us? Listen, Edward's been alone for so many years now…" Rosalie paused "Victoria seems like she could use a man like him."

"A man like him?" Carlisle repeated.

"Yes. He's a good brother. A little annoying, but he's good and polite, and knows how to treat a lady. On the other hand, she's a woman with experience. They could make a good match."

I could see through her eyes how Carlisle and Esme exchanged a wary glance.

"I can see your logic." Esme hedged in "But Rose, I don't think Edward will like it if we try to… set them up. After all, Alice saw him falling in love with this girl, Bella Swan, and I think he really has."

"Oh, that human…" Rose sneered "It's good that she never said anything, but it's also true that she's human. She's fragile. One day, she will die. And you know better than I do that Edward would never agree to turn her. Victoria, on the other hand, is here and she could help him forget about his infatuation."

I almost broke the tree I was holding onto in my rage. First Carlisle and now Rosalie – did they have no shame? Why did they assist on playing matchmaker? Especially Rose – how could she possibly contemplate something as ludicrous as this, especially when Carlisle tried to get us together, she was more enraged than me.

And how could she brush off my feelings for Bella so easily? Did she think because Bella was human, she was inferior to us? Even if Rosalie was more beautiful than her, she didn't have Bella's kindness, her compassion, her selflessness and care. I momentarily forgot I had no patience with men who hit women and considered teaching my impertinent sister some manners.

"Rosalie…" Carlisle chided "It is not up to you to criticize Edward's choices. Need I remind you that you yourself fell for a human?"

Carlisle hadn't earned his place as our leader for nothing, and I felt a bubble of pride well up within me. It was like having your father defending you from the school bully.

"That is different." Rosalie began "Emmett was dying. I couldn't…"

"Then will you think for a minute that Edward's situation isn't that much different? When Bella was nearly killed by that van, he did what you did for Emmett when you saved him from that bear. And he's not ungrateful for it."

"Yes, but Bella is perfectly healthy. She does not belong here."

"That has yet to be determined. As for Victoria, she does not need us to play matchmaker to her. She looks smart enough to know what she wants, and she won't accept anything we try to force on her."

I looked briefly into Alice's thoughts. She was focused on the future, but she didn't see Victoria in it. Perhaps it was because of her gift, but she kept seeing the original duel vision – Bella dead or Bella as one of us. It was a small comfort. I didn't like Victoria. Yes, she was nice enough, but as a mate… the thought revolted me for some reason or another. There was a certain… shrewdness in her that kept me wary.

It was probably a bad motivation, but thinking of Rosalie undermining Bella like that did something to me. I wanted to prove to them that I could love Bella, and that Bella was just as good, if not better, than any of them.

Unconsciously, I ran to her house. It was late by then – she had already gotten herself together, made dinner for her father and then went to bed. She was tossing and turning and muttering something under her breath, and her feet kicked as if she was having a nightmare.

The house was silent. There was not a conscious thought in the neighborhood. I stood there, waiting for a while, before I approached the house, arguing with myself all the way there. What was I hoping to achieve by this? Had I not done enough already, following her around on her daily chores and listening to the minds of everyone who came in contact with her? I had already intruded in her life, taking my petty jealousy out on Mike Newton and arguing with her over Erik. Was I going to cross the final line now? By invading her home, invading her privacy, I felt more horrible than ever because I did it to get a glimpse of her mind. What I had considered to be my curse was now something I wished more than ever to work.

Her words were incoherent, the sentences – unfinished. Her breath was coming out short and her heart beat so fast I thought it might burst. For a while, I debated whether or not I ought to wake her – I wouldn't have to touch the girl – slamming the door or the window would be enough. The nightmare seemed to worsen with every passing moment, as if she could register the danger of me being in her room before she woke up. And then, suddenly, her arms reached out in the air – one thrown to cover her face while the other was clawing at some invisible threat. The next words came out as a sob:

"No, please, don't…."

Two tears slid down her eyes: "Please don't… no more… I'll do it, I'll do everything, just… please, don't hurt him…"

Hurt who? I wanted to shake her awake and ask her, but I doubt I'd be more comforting than that dream. For all I knew, it would be like stepping into a living nightmare.

"Charlie…" she whispered "Please… please… Edward, save Charlie…"

I froze. _What?_

That was it, my name, coming out of her lips. But her voice wasn't laced with fear, on the contrary. She was seeing me as help, as a protector. She wanted me to save her father.

What did it all mean? Why would she feel a threat to her father? Why did she not ask help for herself? Was she in trouble? I had followed her all day long through the minds of others, safe for the times when she was in La Push, but the Quileute tribe were friends with Charlie Swan. They'd never hurt him. Perhaps something in Phoenix? My dead, frozen heart almost clenched with dread as I approached her and surveyed her arms, advantageously displayed by the threadbare T-shirt she was wearing. No needle marks, thank God. And she didn't look like she was on any other drugs.

Then why? What could be her trouble?

"Please, save him, Edward…" she begged, and her voice grew strong "For the love of… I beg of you… Please… please… don't leave me alone…"

Something in me turned. For a whole minute, I couldn't breathe, and when the rush of feeling subsided, I was a new man. The monster, the foul-eyed, blood-thirsty creature that had simmered underneath the surface for so long was now gone. I could breathe the air around her, but I would not take advantage of our privacy and her helplessness to satisfy the urge. Carefully, I knelt by her bed and whispered in a low voice:

"He's safe, Bella. I promise."

"Thank you…" she breathed, and just like that, the nightmare was over. Her body went slack and the dream ended. She didn't speak again all night.

When, at dawn, I ran home to shower and change before my hunt with Emmett, I went through the events of the previous day. Bella Swan was obviously not indifferent to me – in fact, underneath the animosity; she was obviously attracted to me. And in spite of all the reasons for the contrary, she saw me as a protector, as the good guy.

And suddenly, for her, I knew I could be this guy. I could be more than a murderer. I could be more than a monster, thirsting for her blood. I could love her as a man loves a woman and give her what she deserved, for as long as she would have me.

My resolution was rock solid. And, as confirmation, I heard Alice squeal as the future began to change in her eyes.

_

* * *

A/N - Merry Christmas?  
_


	14. Q & A

**Q & A**

_Bella Swan_

I felt like a rag on Friday. The emotional roller-coaster I'd been on the previous day and the restless night had paid off in spades – I barely managed to get myself in gear before school. The only upside was the bright sunshine, but I couldn't even enjoy it properly thanks to Victoria and this whole misery business with Edward. And, as if to make matters worse, Jessica cornered me in Trig, waiting for the juicy gossip regarding yesterday's lunch debacle.

"Ok, spill." She ordered as she sat down. I looked straight ahead. Mr. Varner was still checking the tests.

"About what?" I asked, disinterested.

"You know." Jessica giggled "About you and Edward Cullen. Now that was a verbal foreplay if I ever saw one."

_And you must've seen a lot of foreplays, haven't you, Jessica,_ I thought sarcastically. "I didn't see it as such. He was very aggravating."

"Oh? What did he say?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Nothing extreme… he was just being an arrogant jerk."

"The Cullen's never seemed to notice anybody until you came." Her tone was accusatory now "And he started acting normal when you sat with him in Bio."

I shrugged. "What do you want me to say? He was going off about how I didn't belong where I am, how I was making a mistake… I didn't understand it really." I said.

"Oh…" Jessica lapsed into silence, probably thinking about what he'd said to her when he'd turned her down. "I guess he could be like that. He was really mean with me once too."

There she was again, trying to get me to talk dirt. I could do that, but why give her the satisfaction of seeing me brought down to her level: "I don't mind him being mean. In fact, I hope he tries that trick again on me. I'd dearly love to see how the almighty Cullen will deal with someone who is not willing to kiss his ass." I smirked. Seeing Edward brought down almost gave me physical satisfaction.

Jessica looked baffled. "You want to faze Edward Cullen?" she couldn't believe it "Bella, nobody tries to mess with the Cullen's, in any way."

"Why? Are they dangerous?" I asked, annoyance lacing with my tone. _Of course, they were dangerous, you stupid twat, they're vampires._

"Well, no, not really…" she seemed to hesitate "But… I don't know… they always make me wanna turn around and run." _Most truthful thing you've ever uttered, my dear_. "Anyway, how would you go about messing with Edward?"

"Like I always did." I shrugged "He thinks the world should revolve around him, and I think it's high time someone knocked him off his high horse."

Jessica's expression varied from sheepish idiocy to excitement. She was no doubt thinking about how she had been humiliated, and looked forward to seeing Edward go through that experience. Her face was positively feral, in the end. "Oh, I'm gonna love watching this. He seems to be halfway there anyways – the way he looked at you yesterday, I thought he wanted to eat you up."

Not a comforting thought, but in Jessica's context, perhaps it was a good thing. I just nodded.

* * *

As Victoria had said, the Cullen's did not appear today. On Saturday, there was a planned trip to the beach at La Push. I didn't want to go, but every second I spent away from Victoria seemed too precious for me.

I went earlier than the rest, using my job as an excuse. Deliveries were a good thing – they forced me to put up a front, be polite and calm, and it distracted me from my present worries. How Victoria would get Edward to take me to the dance, I had no idea, but I'd have to go with Angela and Jessica to Port Angeles and get a dress. Yuck. Just the thought of shopping made my head spin. Especially shopping for any sort of dance. My economic sensibilities reeled in shock at spending money on a dress, shoes and a bunch of accessories I might never use again. The only time I had allowed such a frivolity was when Renee made me go to the homecoming dance on my sophomore year in Phoenix.

That was just… ugh…

Halfway through my deliveries, something happened to take my mind totally away from handbags and impossible price tags. I was out of Sue Clearwater's house when I saw a bunch of boys standing in front of my truck.

Briefly, I recognized Seth and Jacob Black, Billy's kid, before they noticed me and turned around. They blocked me – a living barrier of russet skin and dark clothes, standing between me and my only means of escape. They didn't seem very threatening, though… ok, maybe just a little.

They looked like a gang. Or… a pack?

"You Bella Swan?" The one in the middle asked as I made my way to them.

"Yes." I replied, feeling that being stupid wouldn't do well around these guys.

"My name is Sam Uley. You will not meet me again unless the circumstances are otherwise." He said curtly.

"Look, I have these deliveries to make, so…"

"We know about you." He cut me off "We know about your siding with that new leech. Why, we know not, but you should know that any transgressions on this tribe will have severe consequences."

Huh? Consequences? "I don't understand."

"You know what this redhead, Victoria is." Sam went on "Just as you know what the Cullen's are. And since you're not dead yet, you've obviously done something to make yourself useful to them. What is it? Do they plan on infiltrating the village? Killing us off in our sleep? Are they using you as a scout, knowing that you're not breaking the treaty?"

"You've got it all wrong." I said "This has nothing to do with the tribe. Victoria is trying to get to Edward Cullen, and is using me as bait. Look…"

"And why should we believe that?" another boy, taller and rowdier than Sam, asked. His whole body seemed to be shaking with rage. "I say we lock her up and see what the leeches would do."

"Paul…" Sam silenced him with one look, before turning on me "What proof do you have to back up your accusations?"

"No proof." I said "But you should know; if they wanted to attack you, they would have done it already."

They seemed unconvinced.

"You don't believe me? Victoria is entirely focused on torturing me. She's entered my house countless of times, threatening my father's life unless I do as I am told. Believe me, her business is with Cullen." My heart suddenly started to beat fast "Please, you have to believe me. Is there any way…"

"You will do better if you remain silent." Sam said, his eyes cold "If the leeches want to kill each other, that is fine. I will not mind the demise of any of them. But know this, Bella Swan, if this conflict involves this tribe, you will suffer the consequences, and those leeches as well."

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that their tribe was already involved, that Victoria had killed Harry Clearwater and was very willing to kill a human boy in Forks, but I realized that it was going to be disastrous. They didn't believe I was dragged into this against my will. And if the Cullen's got attacked… I suddenly wished it wouldn't happen.

I nodded stiffly, and, for a while, the boys eyed me speculatively. Then, as Sam made a sign for them to follow him, they moved away – silent, big and threatening.

* * *

My hands shook as I got behind the wheel, and only when I made sure they were away, I allowed myself a few shaky breaths. God! Why was everyone set against me? Why was this whole world set on hating me? I wanted to run, more than I wanted anything in my life, but couldn't. La Push was no paradise, but currently, Victoria couldn't set foot in it, if she didn't want to blow her cover.

Unconsciously, I drove to the Black's house. Billy had asked me to bring some things, and as soon as I saw him, I knew… Jacob must've told him of what the boys had planned to do.

"You know." I said, in lieu of greeting.

"Yes." Billy nodded; hands folded in front of him "You are quite bold to deny it."

"It's the truth." I said, my voice shaking slightly "Please… I know it's hard to believe, but it is true." Tears started to gather in my eyes and I batted them away. "Believe me; I know nothing of why this is happening. She caught me on my way here. She kept me hostage and tortured me and told me all those things. I didn't believe her at first, but then… then…" I broke down. I fell to my knees and cried and cried and then told him everything – how she had kept me tied down, how she had killed in front of me, how she had threatened me, how Edward's rescue had convinced me that it was all real… I told him all, and I begged, I freaking begged him to believe me.

I was a mess. I was such a freaking mess.

Finally, Billy threw me a handkerchief to dry my face and ordered me to get up. I did so without objection. What was the use of hysterics anyway? I got it out, at least. I felt a little calmer now.

Billy had disappeared in the house, allowing me to clean myself up and then bring his groceries in. I expected that he wouldn't want to lay his eyes on me, but he was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for me to come.

"I'm an old man." He began as I set the bags down "And as such, I haven't got much to offer. I've seen a lot, yes, and I'm more willing to believe you than the rest. You should thank the fact that you're Charlie's daughter – otherwise, I'd never extend this courtesy to you." He said, before offering me two long, silvery looking needles.

"What are these?" I asked, as I picked them up.

"They're charmed. Bathed in wolf's blood. They're extremely sharp." He said, as he showed me how to tuck them in my jeans so that they wouldn't show. "If you really want a way out, you must incapacitate the leech before it can do anything and then set it on fire."

"Oh…" I looked at him, eyes wide with wonder.

"Always go for the eyes." Billy went on "I don't know how much time you'll have, but you'll be able to do it if you distract them somehow. The eyes are the most vulnerable – if you manage to it them, you'd knock it out for at least a couple of minutes, enough to cover it with something flammable and setting it on fire. Always carry this with you."

Well, this had been my plan, sort of. But in order for me to get Victoria drenched in fuel or kerosene or whatever, I'd have to get myself covered in it too. I would catch fire as well, but it didn't frighten me as much as it did before.

"I don't know what to say…" I began, but he cut me off

"You're Charlie's daughter. His only treasure. The only thing you could do to thank me is to stay alive… somehow." He added it. "Now go. My son will be back soon and he won't like you being here."


	15. High

**High**

_Bella Swan_

I walked out of Billy Black's house in a daze. When I had described him the cabin where I had been kept, he told me that it was barely fifteen minutes from the reservation, and told me the quickest way to get there. I managed to go up and store some kerosene I had been carrying among the other supplies (I'd have to pay for it later) up there, before going to the First beach, which, as it turned out, was even nearer.

The drive was a dream. It felt like I had stepped out of a nightmare and into some strange twilight zone.

The Quileute tribe knew what I was doing, and yet they did nothing until it concerned them especially. Billy was the only one to make the connection between Victoria and Harry Clearwater's disappearance, but he wasn't about to tell the rest of the elders of it. When I had asked him why (it seemed appropriate when he assured me that he wouldn't), he had said:

"_There's a time for everything, girl, and if you've lived as long as I have, you'd know when to keep something to yourself and when not to. The rest of the elders are fools – superstitious idiots who believe the legends but aren't willing to take a risk. They're entirely dependent on the pack, thinking those kids are strong enough to defend them. On the other hand, Sam and Paul and Jake and Quill and the rest, they're all pups. Young cubs, not knowing what is best for them. They're eager for a fight, and they'll get into one as long as an opportunity is presented to them. Right now, we're not ready to face off with the Cullen's."  
_

"_But if you believe me about Victoria, why wouldn't they?"_ I had asked _"Why are they so suspicious of me?"_

Billy had given me a severe look.

"_I only believe you because of Charlie, girl. If it turns out that you're lying, bear in mind that you betrayed not only an old cripple, but your father's closest friend as well. The boys don't need to believe you. My word means nothing. I am old and I am lame. If we were a true pack, my own son would've left me behind to die, and there would be nothing wrong in it. That's the law of nature."_

The law of nature. Strong ones survived, weak ones died and their bodies were prayed upon by the bigger predators. Old and sick died to give life to the young. It was a law of life, and yet I felt it too severe, too cruel. Even after all I'd gone through, and what I suspect I'd have to go through soon, I still found it in me to feel compassion… and anger.

I'd seen the inside of the house. It had been gutted and remodeled so that it would accommodate Billy's wheelchair, but he couldn't venture too far from the house without help and his son was constantly running around with his buddies. He needed somebody to bring him his supplies, for cripe's sake! I didn't care what the law of the jungle was for them – to me, it looked like cruelty of the highest degree.

This all reminded me of a fairytale – a king once ordered all the elderly people of his country slain because they were of no use. On the next harvest, the whole kingdom would have starved if a young man hadn't hidden his father, and this father gave his son advice on how to save the people from a hungry death.

The Quileute tribe depended on strength too much. Like Billy said – if somebody didn't pick their timing well enough, there would be certain death for some of these boys.

* * *

The rest of the kids were starting to gather at the beach, and I joined Angela and Jessica by a bonfire that was starting up. Lauren was talking to some of the boys, laughing too loudly and drawing the attention to her breasts, advantageously displayed in a tight top. The day was sunny and warm, and yet, looking at Ang and Jess, I felt like someone had stepped on them.

After sitting with them for a while, I managed to learn the reason behind Jessica's gloom – Mike's little stunt had earned him a two-week suspension from school and a ban from the spring dance and prom. It meant he wouldn't be there for a while, and she was afraid at what that might do to their relationship. Lauren looked a little overly happy about the fact and kept reminding her of it, which did nothing to make things better.

Angela didn't say why she looked so out of it, but I guessed it had something to do with school.

After partaking in what felt like the most annoying conversation in history (Lauren talking about prom, while the boys and Jess prepared to surf), I was near ready to get up and go, when I noticed Sam and the rest of the pack head up to the First Beach cliffs. I watched them as they stripped off their shirts, then lined up near the edge and started jumping into the sea.

"Whoa… Isn't it a bit too cold for this right now?" I asked to no-one in particular.

"The sea's warm enough, if you feel like it." Lauren's nasal voice floated from behind me. "What do you say, Angie? Maybe you'll like the ride? Or perhaps you'd rather play safe?"

Angela's face turned red, and I felt myself growing more indignant. What did that good-for-nothing skank want from us anyway? She was obviously not close friends with anybody and she seemed determined to say degrading things about the girls. And what was her problem with Angela? Of all the people here, she was the one that least deserved it.

"Seems interesting," I said. "Walk with me, Ang?"

She looked incredulous, before getting up to her feet and following me to my truck. Since it was our habit, I kept our things for swimming in my truck, so we could, technically, put our bathing suits on and join them. She looked confused when I handed her the bag.

"Come on," I urged her as I disappeared in some bushes to change. "If those boys can do it, so can we."

"Um, Bella, I'm not quite sure it's such a good idea," Angela said, hesitant. "What if… what if there are currents, and… and fish, and…"

"If the boys are jumping, there are probably no underwater currents. And you've jumped from the tower, haven't you?" I had. In Phoenix, swimming lessons were amongst the few things I actually enjoyed. "Come on. Besides, if I have to listen to Lauren's quaking for another hour, I'll go mad."

That seemed to make her mind up and she quickly joined me. Then, dressed in our one-piece swimsuits and jeans, we made our way to the cliffs.

"Why is Lauren so snide, anyway?" I asked to fill the time, "I haven't seen anyone so bitter in my life." _Except for Victoria, maybe_.

Angela shrugged. "I don't know either. She's always been a little difficult, but never really mean. She was actually great friends with Jessica until high school."

"Maybe they drifted apart," I said, thinking of all the people I had met over the years. Somehow, I always had someone to talk to in every class, someone to ask for notes and homework, but whenever I changed class, I lost track of them. It wasn't because they were bad; we just… never made a lasting connection. As if, inwardly, I had always thought that one day I'll leave and I'll never see them again.

It was so fucked up. It felt like my number had been up ever since I got in that car with Victoria.

"But why is she so mean to you?" I asked. "You have done nothing to deserve that."

Angela blushed ten shades of red. "Oh, that's because she heard me asking Benjamin Cheney to the beach with us… I ah… I sort of wanted him to come, but I wasn't very insistent. Lauren calls it 'playing safe' and she's been teasing me about it since."

I blinked, trying to place the name. Benjamin Cheney… I'd never met him. I didn't have class with him. He didn't sit on our table.

"Oh… he's…"

"We have Trigonometry together." Angela blushed "He's really a sweet guy, but… um… I sort of really, really like him… A little too much, at that. And I'm afraid he's gong to be uncomfortable if I show him how I feel, so I try to keep clear. It's crazy, really…" she sighed.

I was stunned. I'd never suspected that Angela would feel so strongly. But in a way, I could imagine what it was like. "It's not crazy at all, Ang. But if you like him, you have to be more than lukewarm around him. Even if he's not madly in love with you, and if he isn't, he's a moron, there should be nothing scary about having a nice, sweet, super smart and pretty girl like you. He ought to be flattered." I laughed and patted her back "Don't worry, Ang. Right now, let's live for the moment. And you'll make Lauren eat her words."

"Um, Bella, I still think it's too high."

"Then I'll jump first, and if something horrible happens, you'll be completely justified not to have jumped."

The pack stared at us as we made it to the top. Angela looked a little worried to jump from the very top and that saved her from being intimidated by the half-naked men. Although, as far as intimidating goes, they looked like a bunch of very buff cupcakes when you look at it. A little gay, if you asked me. I tried not to think of what would happen if one of those cupcakes tried to attack me. He'd either crush my neck or we'd start a claw fight. Meow!

"Gentlemen…" I gave them a radiant smile "Nice tide?"

"Good." Sam said, eyeing me warily "What are you doing?"

"You won't mind if we take a leap too? It seems so fun from below." I grinned "Ang, if you're scared, you can jump from that ledge below."

"Oh, um…" she blushed.

"I'm sure the guys won't let us drown, won't you?" I said. "Seth, you'll make sure of it, right?"

The boy looked worried, before nodding. I grinned again, before walking up to the ledge. I wrapped my toes around the end, and swung. Without hesitation, I kept gaining inertia, before leaping out. My body drew a perfect line, before I fell down in a perfect dive.

I cut through the surface of the water. Yes! The freezing water made me wide awake, and I almost screamed at the feeling. It was amazing. I felt powerful. I felt alive.

My head broke through the surface, and I took a long gulp of air. I laughed long out loud.

"It's awesome!" I screamed. A couple of seconds later Angela cannon balled.

We laughed like idiots, before swimming to the edge and then climbed up again. The boys looked at us like a couple of lunatics. Then they shrugged it off, even with Paul glaring at me like I was the Devil's disciple. When we got tired of the diving, we just floated around in the remarkably warm water. We watched Jess and the boys surf, and then, when we got out of the water, Lauren walked away sullenly.

Jake got out as well and looked like he wanted to talk to us, then just shrugged and left.

I felt amazing. Around the end of the day, I actually felt like I could take anything on. Let my troubles line up – I'll give each a black eye and walk away grinning.

* * *

The brilliant sunshine kept on throughout the weekend and on the first half of the week. The Cullen's, as they were supposed to, didn't show up. Victoria managed to hide from the sunshine without betraying her secret, which made me uneasy, but I didn't expect to hear of Edward until the clouds covered the sky again. Apparently, I shouldn't have underestimated him.

On Monday, I came home after swimming to find my dad blocking the kitchen door and staring at something inside.

"Hey, dad." I said "I'll get the food cooking soon, don't worry."

"Um, yeah, Bells, about that…" he trailed off and left me see "Something came for you while you were away."

I blinked, trying to take in the aspect of the weird thing on top of our kitchen table. It was big, it had a lot of ribbons in it, and it seemed to hold a remarkable amount of pink in it.

"What's this?" I asked.

"I don't know." My dad said, hiding the fact that he'd already read the card rather poorly. I approached the bouquet of roses and freesias and baby's breath with caution, worried that there might be a severed finger somewhere in it, but, as it turned out, it was completely harmless. The card was a plain white one, unsigned, but I could recognize the elaborate handwriting even after seeing it only once:

_To Bella, in the hopes for reconciliation. _

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" I exclaimed as I eyed the bouquet. "A whole friggin' flower garden must've gone for this thing to be made!"

"Bella, are you alright?" My dad asked, cautious. "You're not having trouble with someone, are you?"

"No, of course not." I groaned "This is from my Biology lab partner. He's… he's complicated. I yelled at him that he's being an ass the other day, and now he sends me flowers to make up for it. He's weird."

Charlie was not convinced. "This boy have a name?"

I hesitated for a second. "Edward Cullen."

"Dr. Cullen's kid?" He blinked. "That explains this all. I don't see any other boy in school affording that. But… why would he go that far? Must've been some fight."

"You've no idea." I plucked the card and put it in my pocket. "What do I do with this stuff? I know nothing about gardening."

My dad looked lost. "Sue Clearwater likes gardening. I could hand it over when I go watch the game over at Billy's place. Just…" he blushed "…can you cut the ribbon's off? It's really… ah… pink."

_Not to mention girly_, I smiled to myself and got a pair of scissors.

Flowers. What was that about? And why on Monday? If this guy wanted to play games with me, why didn't he start on Friday, immediately? I wondered about it for a long, long time, and then put it off my mind as just a way to make me lose my cool.

Tuesday, I opened my locker at high school to get my books and found a square box sitting there. I stared at it, wondering if I ought to scream for help, and then shook my head – why would anyone send me a bomb. I lifted the lid and stared at the chocolates lined up in perfect rows.

I felt the heat crawl up my skin and quickly shoved the box back. I didn't know how it had gotten in there, but I sure as hell never put it in and I never took candy from strangers. It gave me an unpleasant jolt. I told myself I wouldn't take the box, not for all the tea in China, or read the card. I didn't take it with me, but I told myself that on the end of the school day, I'd dump it in the trash.

That was what I thought. On the end of the day, I pocketed the box guiltily and went home.

The card was the same – plain white - and the writing was in Edward's inimitable script: _Let's be friends?_

He hadn't signed it, but I hoped that it was coming from Edward, and not Victoria. I sniffed the chocolates. They seemed perfectly safe. And then I thought – Victoria wouldn't have sent them. She didn't have any gain at fucking with me. If Edward was trying to be nice to me, it only served her purpose. Still, the fact that the least threatening vampire was sending me gifts wasn't reassuring. For one thing, it meant that he had somehow learned my locker combination (not a difficult feat given Mrs. Cope's tendencies to swoon around young boys), and that he could've put anything there. I was uneasy.

On Wednesday, I went to school and prayed that there weren't any more presents. Jess and Ang and me were supposed to go dress shopping, although with Mike banned from the dance, the enthusiasm for the trip had lowered significantly. Only Lauren's snide remarks made Jessica keep this up. "Let's go anyway. We'll need dresses for prom." She said, determined not to let her former friend bring her down. "And we'll have fun. A shopping therapy."

Angela and I exchanged look across the table, but shrugged it off. The tales of our epic cliff diving on Saturday had spread throughout the school and Angela seemed a little more confident with this Cheney boy. Perhaps she would have a date. As for me… well, Victoria had told me to get a dress, and I wasn't about to make her think that her toy wasn't playing by the rules, not when I was so close.

I went home – no surprises in my locker, my car, or the kitchen table. However, when I got up to my room, there was a small box on the window still.

I only had time to read the card: _I didn't refuse because I didn't want to._ Before I could check what was inside, Jessica's car pulled up out front and I ran out.

* * *

A/N - Once more, Kudos to Courtney for fixing this up. Missing you, hon.


	16. Ghost

**Ghost**

_Edward Cullen_

Alcoholics like to come up with justifiable reasons for their drinking. I drink to take the edge off. I drink because it improves the taste of the food. I drink because everyone else does. They never ask themselves why they shouldn't drink, at least until someone pointed the obvious out to them.

It was unhealthy.

It was addictive.

It was outright stupid.

Likewise, I didn't realize my obsession with Bella had gotten so far until Emmett, in his not-so-subtle way, pointed it out to me during our hunting trip. "You're thinking about her all the time." He said when we paused after the first kill. "You follow her around all day, all night too, if what Alice tells us is right… And you seem to have taken a very personal interest in her wellbeing as of late."

"That's creepy, isn't it?" I asked.

"Nope. Looks like you've fallen, to me." Emmett shrugged. "All teenage boys go through that stage where they want to follow their girl everywhere, you just _can _and so you_ do_ it."

I groaned. "This isn't making me feel any better, you know."

"It's not that bad," Emmett said. "I mean, this girl hasn't told the whole school how you saved her from that van, not to mention she forgot to discuss your crazy behavior with her friends. She's discreet. I don't think she'll needle her father for a restraining order if she finds out. You just need to bring it down a notch."

I looked at him incomprehensively. "Bring it down?"

"Yeah. Such as being nice to her, don't piss her off, and take her on a date…"

"You mean court her?"

_Surprised?_ He was honestly confused. _Aren't you supposed to be the gentleman in the family?_

I was still looking blankly. Me? Court Bella? I was a monster! What could I possibly have to offer her? Yes, my resolution was rock solid, but how to go about it was a mystery to me. Especially since every conversation I tried having with her somehow turned into a fight. _Especially_ since I seemed to like our fights. I could hardly restrain my sexual heat for her when she started insulting me, what would happen if I actually tried to take her on a date?

Explaining this to Emmett took some time. Yet he still seemed confused.

"So arguing turns you on. Nothing wrong with that." _Man, Rose and I have had the best times after a fight. Make up sex is the best_.

"Rosalie is a vampire. You don't have to worry about killing her in the throes of passion," I said, trying to get his mind off the very graphic images of his exploits with my sister.

"Oh, yeah, that…" He scratched the back of his head. "But there's still time until you get there, right? Even the humans nowadays require at least one date before they roll in the hay." There, he had a point. Even the most promiscuous girls in school wanted dinner before they made it worth their while, probably on the back seat of the boy's car. And Bella was much better than the likes of those humans, so… surely she wouldn't want us to do that until we get to know each other better.

Emmett was right – I'd worry about sex after I told her what I was and she didn't run away screaming.

But courting… "I just can't imagine courting her the way I would back in the day. I can't imagine myself being human."

He had no advice to offer me there. "Hey, back when I was human, we were all piss-poor. If you liked a girl, you went to her pa and got a permission to get married. I was never a gentleman."

"Yes, but… but…"

_Where is my brother and what have you done with him? Aren't you the one constantly telling me to treat women like ladies?_

Damn him, he was right, but I had a hard time imagining what Bella would like. Flowers? I snorted inwardly. There were gardens in Forks, but nothing beautiful ever grew in them. Candy? She barely ate in school! Still, it was something worth a try.

* * *

My only problem was that I, like the arrogant ass I was, didn't ask Alice for her help in this venture. Hence, I didn't know her reaction to the gifts until it was too late. The flowers were sent away. The chocolates were taken, only to be stuffed in a drawer. I didn't know what happened to the cards, but I added a new quality to my list: Isabella Swan didn't like gifts.

And she most certainly didn't like pink.

Combined with her natural goodness and feisty temper, these qualities just added up to create an entirely positive picture of her. A picture which was not marred by what I found in the minds of the humans on Monday.

I watched from the forest as she made her way to school, sat on the lawn, went through her classes. I tried using Angela Webber's mind as much as I could, as it was the only one of her friends who didn't think malicious thoughts of her. But something had happened during the weekend, during that trip to La Push, that had shifted the scales in Bella's favor. Angela's thoughts of her were colored with respect, adoration, even admiration, while nearly every person who went to that beach kept thinking of Bella as brave. Even Lauren Mallory, with her snide comments about Bella's swimsuit, was grudgingly impressed.

_She actually said it looked interesting._

_She went up there and smiled at those guys._

_She swan dived from the freaking cliff and then said she invented the thing._

What? What had happened? I kept going through the minds of others, until Tyler Crowley told some of his friends from the football team about it. His story was accompanied by a flash of memories, as terrifying as they were beautiful.

Bella, laughing as she and Angela disappeared behind her truck and then came out in bathing suits and jeans. Bella, climbing the path that led to the diving point. Her, standing for a second on the very edge, as the wind made her hair fan out and brought out the red in it. She seemed to take it all in – the sea, the sunshine, the salty breeze, and then she leapt. Her body arched, her hands spread out as if she were to take flight, and then she dove in with more grace than anyone would have thought she possessed.

My breath caught in my throat and, the first time I saw it, I felt an urge to run to the First Beach and stop her, as if it hadn't happened days ago. Then I wanted to run to her and ask her why in the name of God she did something so reckless. And then, after witnessing the memory from several points of view, I came to admire the soft lines of her body, the strength in it, the raw energy that seemed to emanate from her as she tore into the water and then broke the surface. I saw her come out of the ocean, again and again, hair plastered in dark red curls to her silky skin and bathing suit leaving nothing to the imagination.

How had she managed to survive that fall? How hadn't she frozen in that water? Angela, too. They had both jumped as if it was nothing. Yes, there was a warm current, warm enough for the humans to surf and for the Quileute boys to go diving, but Bella? I had grown to accept her as fragile, soft.

It proved to me that she wasn't. Even if her skin was silk, there was a spirit of steel underneath. She was stronger than I… than anyone in the school thought she was.

I wanted to ask her about it. I wished that my gifts would hit a mark, make her rethink her attitude towards me, but the more I thought of it, the more I felt like an ass for the way I had treated her. If only I'd listened to Alice when she had told me there was no way out of it, I wouldn't be in such a mess.

Bella, along with Jessica and Angela, would go to Port Angeles on Wednesday. Neither of them had a date for the dance or prom, but Jess convinced them to buy dresses anyway, just in case. I could see Bella didn't find the idea agreeable, but she seemed determined to stay out in the sun as much as possible, so she agreed. I immediately made it my plan to follow them. Not to stalk, I reasoned. Just to see what they would get. Maybe this trip would give me a better insight to Bella's tastes.

Alice was still too mad to talk to me.

I gave them a head start – after all, driving after them would mean abiding to that horrible speed limit, and if Bella was as perceptive as I thought she was, she'd notice my car – and then drove to Port Angeles. I parked the car in a darkened alleyway and listened for the minds of the girls. Jessica's voice was the loudest, as she explained to Angela something about the dress Bella had bought.

"_It really brings out her skin color,"_ Jessica was saying.

_That's a load of bull. Bella looks like a stick of butter_. _Why did she buy it?_ Angela fretted on the inside. _Maybe I should lose it. Pretend I'm putting it in the car and then throw it in the trash. Nobody should be subjected to going to prom in that._

A stick of butter? Did Bella perhaps like the butterscotch color? I listened to Angela's mind as she ran through the memory of the dress shop – Bella's dress was strapless with a swishy bottom and it was truly hideous (perhaps enough to give Alice a heart attack, if her heart still beat), though she somehow made it work. Marginally. She had tried on several really nice dresses, amongst which one in a pretty bluebell color which suited her like a dream, but when she had looked at herself in the yellow one, something had passed through her face and she had bought it. As if she had decided it was perfect for… something.

"_I still think we should return it and get her the blue one." _

"_You'll just piss her off." And why should I do_ her _any favors? "She likes it, doesn't she?"_

I didn't listen any further, because it became painfully clear Bella wasn't with them anymore. Damn it! I had heard her complain to Angela about the lack of a decent bookshop in Forks, why hadn't I anticipated that she would go looking for one? I searched their memories frantically for any sign, any indication as to where she had gone, and thankfully, Jessica thought about the place where Bella had headed out to in relation to some trivial thing or another. I was off faster than I possibly could imagine.

I knew Port Angeles. I knew the bookshop in Jessica's memories, but as soon as I came within hearing range of it, it became clear Bella wasn't inside. It didn't matter her mind was closed off to me – in the last weeks, I had began to distinguish her as an absence, a white noise in the crowd around me. I sniffed the air, but there was a butcher's shop right across the street. Too many scents, animal and human, drifted around me and I couldn't distinguish her own, potent as it was.

The hell I went through was something I wouldn't wish to my worst enemy. Searching frantically, driving around, and listening to minds at random for any trace of her. It was nearing dusk, yet the shadows weren't long enough for me to follow her on foot. I was the world's strongest, fastest, most dangerous predator, and yet I was so shamefully confined by the sunshine… how pathetic. And what was worse than the suspense, worse than the constant worry that something might happen to her, worse than my dread of running into her and exposing myself - was that feeling to total helplessness I couldn't overcome.

And just as fate, that rancid hag, would have it, the mind of the man that had seen Bella turned out to be one of a serial rapist and murderer, who had marked her as his next victim.

My teeth grit together as I tore through stops signs and red lights. I ignored the horns blaring and people shouting – there wasn't a police car or a camera in sight, and blending in was the last thing on my mind as I followed the thought and tried to pinpoint the location. I must've looked like a madman, hunched over, gripping the steering wheel, mouth drawn back to reveal the two rows of clenched teeth, as I snarled and my eyes started to film over with red. I was equal parts terrified for Bella and eager to get my hands on whoever was threatening her so that I could tear him to bits. No… no, not like that. I wouldn't let him go so easily.

The monster in me reared its ugly head, eyes bright with anticipation. Finally, after all this time, we were on the same page, and it was eager for the pain and destruction that was about to be unleashed.

She had gotten lost, that much was certain. The buildings around her were uniform, made out of red brick. The design was simple, repetitive, and there were no distinguishing signs for me to pinpoint the exact location. Meanwhile, the monster, the human who was chasing her, was planning on the best way to torture her. We'd see what he would think when I got my hands on him.

"_Stay away from me," _she said, her voice amazingly steady, when she realized she was being herded.

"_Don't be like that, sugar."_

The look on her face, even through his eyes, was calm and composed. It irritated him. As if her self-assurance was somehow insulting to him. He planned on changing that, as violently as he could. One of his counterparts -all three didn't know how far this would go, which only meant they would die quickly- looked around, too terrified that he'd be caught harassing the girl, and gave me the clue I needed.

The human monster was crossing the road towards her, flexing his hands, as I tore through a red light and neared the corner of the street where they were. Bella remained calm, and her hand twitched almost imperceptibly, as if she was preparing to draw a gun. Or… something else?

"Why don't you come with me and my boys? We'll show you a good time," he taunted, his smile as fake as cut glass.

"Sure. You'll go in one direction, and I'll go in the other." She smirked.

He lunged at her as I skidded around the corner, my headlights blinding his counterparts, but not him. Then everything seemed to freeze as it stood – the three inebriated fools, lunging for the nearest wall as I hit the breaks, while the monster tried to lock his hands around Bella's throat. Only he never made it that far.

Her breath came out soundlessly as her hand shot out, and the pocket knife she held in it slashed across her attacker's cheek. He screamed in pain and lost his balance, giving her time to knee him in the groin. His thoughts were suddenly devoid of malice and careful planning, all he wanted was violence, horrible and messy violence.

Safety. I needed to get her to safety.

I was already there, throwing the passenger door open for her. Before I could even tell her to get in, she was running for the car and jumping inside. The look on her face – trust, excitement, and out and out fear – made all my plans crumble to dust. I couldn't kill those men, not while she was in hearing and seeing range. I floored the gas pedal and tore through the street, leaving the three thugs panic while their leader rolled on the ground, writhing in pain.

"Put on your seatbelt," I ordered, and, strangely enough, she obeyed, flinching slightly at the loud noise the lock made. She made no sound, neither of fear or protest or gratitude, as I blew through every traffic light there was, until I stopped at that unused driveway where I had first tried conducting my surveillance. If it were up to me, I'd never stop driving. I'd keep on going, past Port Angeles, past Forks, past this whole damn state, until I got to the end of the world, until it was only me and her.

But Bella's friends were waiting for her – Angela's thoughts were already filled with worry, even if Jessica's weren't – and they were bound to go looking for her at some point or another. I couldn't risk them raising an alarm, not now.

I tore myself away from thoughts of fear and violent death and looked at the girl on my side. She was looking at her lap, jaw locked, eyes filled with nightmares. She was still clutching the pocketknife with both hands.

"Bella…" I began, hoping that she would lash out and insult me for long enough to assure me of her mental equilibrium. "Bella, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said, her voice tight. "I just… I can't believe… I just did that." A shaky laugh escaped her and her lips quirked in a queer smile.

"He earned it. No jury would ever blame you," I said. All thoughts of revenge were suddenly pushed back as I watched her, expecting her to break down any minute.

"Of course he did. But he bled… it's strange…," she said, a distant look on her face. "I didn't think they'd bleed. I just thought I ought to fight back…" Her shoulders shook and she giggled hysterically.

I pried the knife off her hands and held her down. "Bella, breathe," I ordered, rummaging my head for any way to help her. Oh, I had two medical degrees, but I had gotten both at a time when cold water and electricity were a common method in psychiatric hospitals. I made her turn around so that I could look at her in the face and check her pupils. "Bella, it's ok. You're with me now. You're safe."

It was the farthest thing from the truth I could have possibly said, but it somehow anchored her in this reality and her eyes focused. Her breathing slowed down until it was regular again and her heart beat normally. Slowly, she closed her eyes and counted to ten under her breath, before opening them again. "I'm fine," she repeated, her voice more steady.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Are you dizzy? Nauseous? Cold?"

"I think… I think I have the hysteria in check." She breathed, and some of the Bella I knew from school started to come back. Still, she looked so little, so scared, so… vulnerable, I couldn't let go of her yet. I wanted to draw her in, until we were an indistinguishable one, until I couldn't tell mine from hers.

"Are you ok?" she breathed. We were close enough to kiss. All it would take was for her to tilt her head a little and for me to get a little closer…

And that was where my head screamed: Get her away from you. My heart begged me not to break the contact, but I pulled away anyway. "No," I said as I started the car. "I should get you back to your friends." So that I could bring violent retribution to those thugs that dared attack her.

Her hand shot out and gripped the wrist of the hand I had on the gear shift. I barely felt it, and yet I knew she was gripping with her full strength. She was looking dead into my eyes.

"Please…" she rasped in that same voice she had spoken to me with in her dream. "Please, Edward… please, don't leave me alone."

A chill shot down my spine. My cold dead heart almost executed a full beat. A fire started to burn in my chest, and, for once, it wasn't the venom speaking. For the first time in nearly eighty years I felt myself going completely weak.

* * *

A/N - Once again, kudos to Courtney for betaing this. Miss you, hon. Hope school isn't too hard on you.


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